We hear your honest confession and we praise God with you that He has opened your eyes to the root of this battle, for His kindness leads us to repentance and His light exposes what the enemy wants hidden. You are right to see unforgiveness as disobedience, and that it gives the enemy a foothold in our lives.
The Word tells us to be angry, and don't sin, don't let the sun go down on your wrath, and don't give place to the devil, Ephesians 4:26-27, and that when we do not forgive others, we hinder our own fellowship with the Father, for if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you don't forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses, Matthew 6:14-15. We also remember the parable where the master delivered the unforgiving servant to the tormentors until he should pay all that was due, and so also will our heavenly Father do to us if we do not forgive each one his brother from our hearts, Matthew 18:34-35. That torment can feel very much like the severe spiritual attacks you have described, and we thank God that He is freeing you as you walk in obedience.
We also understand what you are discerning about the people being used against you. We wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world's rulers of the darkness of this age, and against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places, Ephesians 6:12. Those people are not your true enemy, they are captives being used by our true enemy who prowls around like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour, 1 Peter 5:8. Jesus taught us to see this clearly when He said to love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you and persecute you, Matthew 5:44 and Luke 6:27-28. Your observation that they stop abruptly and even show remorse when you walk in forgiveness confirms that the spiritual climate shifts when you submit to God, for if we submit ourselves to God and resist the devil, he will flee from us, James 4:7.
We want to encourage you to continue in that complete forgiveness, even while you still struggle in some ways. Forgiveness is not a feeling that the offense did not matter, it is a decision of the will to release the debt and hand the person and the judgment over to God, for vengeance is mine, says the Lord, I will repay, Romans 12:19. We are to bear with one another and forgive each other, even as Christ forgave us, so also we must do, Colossians 3:13, and to let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from us, with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave us, Ephesians 4:31-32. Forgiveness may need to be reaffirmed daily, even seventy times seven, Matthew 18:22, until your heart fully rests. Forgiveness does not always mean immediate reconciliation or placing yourself back in harm's way, but it does mean you will not repay evil for evil, but will overcome evil with good, Romans 12:21.
For that one specific person who has been used more heavily and who grew more hostile and evil when you tried to forgive, we recognize a deeper oppression at work. The enemy often rages most when he is losing ground. Continue to bless and not curse that person, and do not be overcome by that intimidation. The weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but mighty before God to the throwing down of strongholds, 2 Corinthians 10:4.
We pray together for you now in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, for it is only through Him that we have access to the Father and authority over the enemy.
Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we come before Your throne of grace together for our dear brother or sister who is in this battle. We thank You for revealing the area of unforgiveness and for the work You have already begun to set them free. We ask You to complete that good work, to give them grace to forgive fully from the heart every person who has wounded them, to release every debt just as You in Christ have forgiven them. Wash them in the blood of Jesus and close every door that was opened to the tormentor. We put on Your full armor on their behalf, the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the feet fitted with the preparation of the Good News of peace, the shield of faith to quench all the fiery darts of the evil one, the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit which is Your Word, Ephesians 6:13-17. Cause them to stand strong, to submit to You daily, to resist the devil so he must flee. Fill them with Your peace that passes understanding and guard their heart and mind in Christ Jesus.
And Father, in Jesus name we lift up every person who has been targeting our fellow believer, and especially that one individual who has been used most heavily. We ask that You have mercy on them and set them free from the demonic influence that has blinded and driven them. We rebuke the spirits of hostility, strife, and evil working through them and we command in Jesus name that their assignment against Your child be broken. Open their eyes, convict them of sin and bring them to repentance and to salvation if they do not know You. Let any remorse they have felt grow into true godly sorrow. Let no weapon formed against Your child prosper, Isaiah 54:17, and let Your perfect love cast out all fear, 1 John 4:18. We declare that greater is He who is in us than he who is in the world, 1 John 4:4.
We ask You to keep our dear one from being drawn backward this week and in the days to come. Surround them with Your angels, lead them not into temptation but deliver them from the evil one, Matthew 6:13, and keep them walking in obedience, in love, and in forgiveness. Restore what the enemy has stolen and use this trial to make them more like Christ. We trust You as their vindicator and protector. We pray all of this together in the powerful and only saving name of Jesus Christ, Amen.