For years I have had this recurring vision of being assaulted. In this vision, I'm on my back, on the ground, and someone is unmercifully, beating me. As I sat in a hospital chapel a few days ago, God revealed the assailant: It was me. I had been beating myself up, over and over again about things that I did not know.
As I sat there crying, praying and repenting for things I did not understand, could not explain and had no answer for; particularly in situations where I felt like I had let God down; God spoke to my spirit and told me that I wasn't supposed to know how to do it. If I knew how, then I would rely on my own ability, rather than trusting Him to work through me. He said, it's His job to know how and mine to be still while He works. He helped me to understand that He does not use people who "KNOW HOW" because their perceived intellect get in the way. He reminded me that He knows all things and my calling is to simply submit myself wholly and trusting to HIS KNOWLEDGE. I'm sure this is old news to most of you, but for me, it's like a blast of fresh air. I know I'm still being transformed, but I'm getting there and it feels so good to know that His hands are molding me. I did find it ironic that this pain alleviating revelation was brought to light in a hospital (a place of healing)
My mobility has been limited lately, because of the heavy bags I'm carrying. No matter how I rearrange the contents, they're still cumbersome. Every time I try to set them down, I have to pick them back up again because the spot where I leave them is either unsecured or is unreceptive. Such as it has been for my life's baggage. When I tried to leave them in the care of family, which was ok as long as they didn't have to take responsibility for the contents or even acknowledge their presence (just hide them in the attic). When I asked the church to make space for them somewhere between the pulpit and the pews, I was scorned and tossed out along with my mishandled and now ripped, baggage.
There comes a time in life when you just have to admit that it's time to put your baggage down. I've always understood that I couldn't leave my bags just anywhere. I now realize that sometimes they're not secure even in places deemed otherwise trustworthy. At last I've found a permanent place.
I probably won't be on this site for a while, I have to tend to my wounds caused by the unnecessary weight I've been carrying.
Please continue to love and care for one another both in prayer and deed.
PRACTICE THE LOVE YOU PREACH
Love n' Blessings💕
As I sat there crying, praying and repenting for things I did not understand, could not explain and had no answer for; particularly in situations where I felt like I had let God down; God spoke to my spirit and told me that I wasn't supposed to know how to do it. If I knew how, then I would rely on my own ability, rather than trusting Him to work through me. He said, it's His job to know how and mine to be still while He works. He helped me to understand that He does not use people who "KNOW HOW" because their perceived intellect get in the way. He reminded me that He knows all things and my calling is to simply submit myself wholly and trusting to HIS KNOWLEDGE. I'm sure this is old news to most of you, but for me, it's like a blast of fresh air. I know I'm still being transformed, but I'm getting there and it feels so good to know that His hands are molding me. I did find it ironic that this pain alleviating revelation was brought to light in a hospital (a place of healing)
My mobility has been limited lately, because of the heavy bags I'm carrying. No matter how I rearrange the contents, they're still cumbersome. Every time I try to set them down, I have to pick them back up again because the spot where I leave them is either unsecured or is unreceptive. Such as it has been for my life's baggage. When I tried to leave them in the care of family, which was ok as long as they didn't have to take responsibility for the contents or even acknowledge their presence (just hide them in the attic). When I asked the church to make space for them somewhere between the pulpit and the pews, I was scorned and tossed out along with my mishandled and now ripped, baggage.
There comes a time in life when you just have to admit that it's time to put your baggage down. I've always understood that I couldn't leave my bags just anywhere. I now realize that sometimes they're not secure even in places deemed otherwise trustworthy. At last I've found a permanent place.
I probably won't be on this site for a while, I have to tend to my wounds caused by the unnecessary weight I've been carrying.
Please continue to love and care for one another both in prayer and deed.
PRACTICE THE LOVE YOU PREACH
Love n' Blessings💕
