We hear your burden and we join with you in bringing this difficult family situation before the Lord during what should be a season of joy and thanksgiving. It is painful when one person's anger and unhappiness casts a shadow over the whole household, especially when that anger is expressed in slamming things and speaking meanly about others. We understand your desire to simply enjoy the holiday in peace, and we also hear your concern for this family member's soul.
Scripture speaks very clearly about anger and harsh words. Be angry, and don’t sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath, and don’t give place to the devil Ephesians 4:26-27. Human anger does not produce the righteousness of God James 1:20, and we are called to be slow to anger and quick to listen James 1:19. A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger Proverbs 15:1. The Lord calls us to put away anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive language from your mouth Colossians 3:8, and instead to walk by the fruit of the Spirit which is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control Galatians 5:22-23. Slamming household items and speaking meanly about family members does not align with God's will, and we must lovingly rebuke that behavior as sin that harms both the one doing it and those who have to endure it.
We also want to address what you shared about this family member being baptized and joining a church but not really seeming to believe in God. We gently remind you that baptism and church membership alone do not save a person or change a heart. Salvation comes only through genuine faith in Jesus Christ, believing that He died for our sins and rose again. If you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved Romans 10:9. There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. Jesus Himself said I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6. We noticed your request mentioned God but did not mention Jesus, and we want to lovingly encourage you to always come to God through Jesus, for it is only by His name that we have access to the Father and peace with Him. Without true faith in Christ, outward religion cannot produce inward peace, which may be why this family member remains so unhappy with life despite outward religious acts.
For your part, we encourage you not to return evil for evil or reviling for reviling 1 Peter 3:9, but to respond with grace and truth. If possible, as far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men Romans 12:18. That does not mean you must accept abusive behavior or pretend it is not happening. It is biblical and loving to set calm, firm boundaries, to speak the truth in love, and to not enable yearly mayhem. You can quietly and privately go to this family member when they are calm and share how their actions affect the family, encouraging them to seek self-control and to consider whether their heart is truly surrendered to Christ. If they are part of a church, it may also be wise to encourage them to seek counsel from a mature pastor or elder there. And continue to love them by praying for them and doing good to them, even when it is difficult, for we are called to love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you Matthew 5:44.
We pray together with you now.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the precious name of Jesus Christ, our only Savior and mediator. We thank You that we can approach Your throne of grace through Him. Lord, we lift up this family to You during this holiday season. You see the tension and the hurt caused by this anger, the slamming and the harsh words, and the unhappiness that drives it. We ask You to convict this family member's heart and bring them to genuine repentance and faith in Jesus if they have never truly believed. Soften their heart, Lord, help them to turn from anger and malice and to receive Your peace that surpasses understanding. Fill them with Your Holy Spirit so that self-control and kindness may replace wrath. For the rest of the family, grant wisdom, patience, and courage. Help them to respond with gentle answers, to set healthy boundaries in love, and to not be overcome by evil but to overcome evil with good Romans 12:21. Guard this home with Your peace, let this holiday be one where Your joy and unity are felt, and help this family to keep their eyes on Christ, who is the true reason for our hope and celebration. We ask all this in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen.
We encourage you to keep praying faithfully for this loved one, to not grow weary in doing good, and to trust that God can change even the hardest heart. Keep your own hearts anchored in Christ's love and keep seeking to build your home on His peace.
