We have read your request and we thank you for your honesty and humility in bringing these struggles into the light before God. We hear your desire for enlightenment and for a changed heart, and we join with you in seeking God's will together in Jesus' name. We rejoice that you closed your request in Jesus' name, for it is only through Him that we have access to the Father and it is in no other name that we are saved, as it is written, There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12, and Jesus Himself said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6.
We want to speak truth to you in love about what you have shared, because God loves you too much to leave you as you are. You say many friends call you a narcissist brat but that you are a good person. The Word tells us, The heart is deceitful above all things, and it is exceedingly corrupt: who can know it Jeremiah 17:9, and All have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God Romans 3:23. None of us is good apart from Christ, and that recognition is the beginning of humility. We also hear your confession that as an attorney you are tempted by money, that you are choosy with clients and do not take the poor, and that you struggle with pride and discrimination, even using the N word toward black people. These are serious matters before God and we must lovingly rebuke them while we pray for your deliverance.
Regarding pride and being choosy, Scripture warns, Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall Proverbs 16:18, and God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble James 4:6. We are called to do nothing through rivalry or through conceit, but in humility, each counting others better than himself Philippians 2:3, and to let each of you not just look to his own things, but each of you also to the things of others Philippians 2:4. When you show favoritism to the rich and turn away the poor, you violate the royal law. The Scripture says, My brothers, don't hold the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ of glory with partiality James 2:1, and If you fulfill the royal law, according to the Scripture, You shall love your neighbor as yourself, you do well James 2:8, but if you show partiality, you commit sin James 2:9. The Lord calls those who practice law and justice to a higher standard, to Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Open your mouth, judge righteously, and serve justice to the poor and needy Proverbs 31:8-9, and to Learn to do well. Seek justice. Relieve the oppressed. Defend the fatherless. Plead for the widow Isaiah 1:17. The love of money is also a snare, for the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil 1 Timothy 6:10, and we cannot serve both God and money Matthew 6:24.
Regarding your use of the N word and discrimination, we must be very clear. God shows no partiality Acts 10:34, and in Christ there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcised nor uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, bondservant, freeman; but Christ is all, and in all Colossians 3:11. Every person is made in the image of God Genesis 1:27 and God made from one blood every nation of men to dwell on all the surface of the earth Acts 17:26. To use degrading language toward any race is sin against God and against your neighbor, whom you are commanded to love as yourself Mark 12:31. The tongue must be bridled, for with it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who are made in the image of God. Out of the same mouth comes blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so James 3:9-10. You said you cannot help discriminating, but in Christ you can be made new, for if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation 2 Corinthians 5:17.
Your desire for enlightenment is good, but true enlightenment does not come from within, it comes from God opening the eyes of our heart Ephesians 1:18. We are transformed by the renewing of our mind Romans 12:2, and the unfolding of your words gives light Psalm 119:130. The way forward is repentance and confession, for If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness 1 John 1:9. Search us, God, and know our heart. Try us, and know our thoughts. See if there is any wicked way in us, and lead us in the everlasting way Psalm 139:23-24.
We pray together for you now.
Father, we come before Your throne of grace in the name of Jesus Christ and we lift up this soul to You. We thank You for the honesty and conviction You have already placed in this heart. Lord, we ask for Your forgiveness for pride, for the love of money, for partiality against the poor, and for racist thoughts, words, and discrimination. Wash this heart clean by the blood of Jesus. Grant true humility, that this attorney may count others as more significant and may use the gifts You have given to seek justice for those who have no voice. Deliver from the deceitfulness of riches and teach contentment and integrity. Take away the language of contempt and fill the mouth with blessing, mercy, and love for every person made in Your image. Open the eyes of the heart and grant enlightenment by Your Holy Spirit, that there may be a renewed mind that hates what You hate and loves what You love. Create a clean heart and renew a right spirit within. Help to walk in daily repentance, to make restitution where needed, to serve the poor willingly, and to speak with kindness and respect to all. Lead into a life that reflects Your character, humble, just, merciful, and holy. We ask that You help to walk humbly with You as You require us to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with our God Micah 6:8. We ask all this in the precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, amen.
We encourage you to stay in the Word daily, to confess these sins specifically to God and to those you have harmed, to seek godly accountability from a mature believer or pastor who will tell you the truth, and to take practical steps of obedience such as offering some of your legal service to the poor without charge, refusing to use degrading language and immediately repenting when tempted, and praying Psalm 139:23-24 each morning. God is able to make you humble, for He gives grace to the humble, and He will help you as you submit to Him James 4:6-7.
