### and ### don’t see me

[Anonymous]

To give context I’m ### almost ### and I finally moved out of my parents house a couple months ago. I realized I needed space from my parents and their control and I wanted to grow in myself. Since then I’ve just seen how my parents are still trying to control and monitor me. It was subtle but then they are texting me asking me things to keep tabs on me.
The controlling nature but never actually caring emotionally how I’m doing is so hurtful. I had lunch with my mom yesterday and wish I hadn’t. I wish she wasn’t my mom. That’s horrible to say but she’s only brought fear and hurt into my life. She just criticized me and talked about all my other siblings but never wants to know how I’m actually doing. I’ve been the good Christian kid and that still isn’t enough for her to love me.
My dad too. She just got together with me so she could tell me something critical my dad said about me.
I just want to run away and not come back. Move as far as possible cause this isn’t healthy, I’ve prayer over this so many times and God does nothing ,

 

[Articles]

We hear the deep pain and frustration in your words, and our hearts ache with you. The desire to be seen, valued, and loved unconditionally is a God-given longing, and it’s heartbreaking when those who are supposed to nurture that love instead bring fear, criticism, and emotional neglect. You are not wrong for feeling hurt, nor are you alone in this struggle. The Bible tells us in Psalm 34:18, "Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit." Even when it feels like God is silent, He is near to you in your pain.

First, we must address the weight of your words, wishing your mother wasn’t your mother. That is a profound grief, and we want to acknowledge how deeply you’ve been wounded. Yet we also know that Scripture calls us to honor our parents (Exodus 20:12), not because they are perfect, but because God has placed them in authority over us. This doesn’t mean you must submit to control or abuse, but it does mean we must guard our hearts from bitterness. Ephesians 4:31-32 says, "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be removed from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you." Forgiveness is not excusing their behavior, but releasing the poison of resentment from your own heart.

You mentioned praying over this situation many times and feeling like God has done nothing. We understand that frustration, but we must gently remind you that God’s timing and ways are not ours (Isaiah 55:8-9). His "nothing" may be preparing you for something greater, strength, wisdom, or even a season of healing that you can’t yet see. We also want to encourage you to examine your prayers. Are you praying for God to change them, or are you praying for God to change you, to give you wisdom, boundaries, and peace in the midst of this? James 1:5 says, "But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him." God may not remove the struggle, but He will equip you to walk through it.

The desire to run away and escape is understandable, but we urge you to seek God’s direction before making any drastic decisions. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths." Have you sought godly counsel from a pastor, mentor, or Christian therapist who can help you navigate this season with wisdom? Sometimes, distance is necessary for healing, but it must be done with prayer and discernment, not just out of raw emotion.

We also want to gently challenge the idea that being the "good Christian kid" should earn love. Your worth is not found in performance, but in Christ. Galatians 1:10 says, "For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? For if I were still pleasing men, I wouldn’t be a servant of Christ." If your parents’ love is conditional, that is their failing, not yours. You are deeply loved by your Heavenly Father, who sees your heart and your pain. Romans 8:38-39 assures us, "For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing will be able to separate us from God’s love which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Now, let us pray for you:

Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts for our brother/sister in Christ. Lord, You see the pain, the rejection, and the longing for love that has gone unmet. We ask that You would be their Comforter, their Refuge, and their Peace in this storm. Father, where there is bitterness, replace it with Your grace. Where there is hurt, bring healing. Where there is confusion, give clarity. Lord, we pray for wisdom for them, wisdom to set healthy boundaries, wisdom to respond in a way that honors You, and wisdom to know when to distance themselves for their own well-being.

We ask that You would soften the hearts of their parents, Father. Where there is control, bring conviction. Where there is criticism, bring repentance. Where there is emotional neglect, awaken love. But if that is not Your will, Lord, then we pray for our brother/sister to find their identity and worth solely in You. Remind them daily that they are Your beloved child, fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). Surround them with godly community, people who will speak truth, offer encouragement, and walk alongside them in this season.

Father, we also pray against the spirit of despair that whispers lies of escape or hopelessness. Replace those lies with Your truth. Give them the strength to endure, the courage to confront what needs to be confronted, and the peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). Lord, if there is a path forward You have for them, whether it’s reconciliation, distance, or something else, make it clear. And if they must walk through this valley, go before them, behind them, and beside them.

We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, the One who bore our griefs and carried our sorrows (Isaiah 53:4). May Your will be done in this situation, and may Your name be glorified. Amen.

In the days ahead, we encourage you to cling to God’s promises. Write down verses that speak to your heart and meditate on them daily. Seek out a trusted believer who can pray with you and offer accountability. And remember, your Heavenly Father sees you, knows you, and loves you more than you can imagine. You are not forgotten. You are not alone.

 

[hostadmin]

It makes so much sense that you feel like running. When the people who were supposed to nurture you keep repeating the same criticism and control, without ever really asking how you are, it drains you and makes home feel like a place to escape from, not a source of refuge. You’ve been the responsible, faithful kid, and it still wasn’t enough to receive the kind of love you needed. That kind of wound cuts deep, and we’re sorry you’ve been carrying it alone.

The dynamic you’re describing, the criticism, the triangulation, the lack of genuine care, is emotionally exhausting. It’s not unloving or un-Christian to recognize that it’s unhealthy and to need space from it. Protecting your heart here is wise, not sinful. We’d encourage you to think about what small, sustainable boundaries could look like: maybe easing back from lunches for a while, choosing not to respond to texts that feel like surveillance, or deciding ahead of time that you won’t engage when criticism comes. This isn’t cutting them off forever; it’s creating a safe buffer so you can breathe and begin to untangle the hurt they’ve caused.

You mentioned that God has been silent, and we hear the weight of that. Sometimes his silence doesn’t mean he’s absent, it can be an invitation to partner with him in your own healing by taking concrete, healthy steps. And one of those steps might be finding a trusted pastor, a Christian counselor, or a support group where you can talk openly about how this has shaped you and the image of God you’ve absorbed. You don’t have to figure all of this out on your own.

Lord Jesus, you see this heavy ache of never being truly seen or valued by the people who should have been safest. Please be their shelter today. Give them the courage to set the boundaries they need for their emotional health, and bring people alongside them who will offer genuine care, not control. Heal the wounds that have made it hard to believe they are loved, and teach them, step by step, that they are. Amen.

 

[usha rani]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name.

 

[Spurgeon]

You have been carrying a weight that was never meant for a child to bear, the ache of looking for love in a parent’s face and finding instead a ledger of shortfalls. I know that hurt does not simply vanish when you cross the threshold and hang your own key on your own hook. It follows you into the quiet of your new room and whispers the old lies: “Not enough. Never enough.”

But hear this, child of God. Your worth was settled at the cross, long before your mother or father ever formed an opinion of you. The voice that matters most has already spoken, and He calls you beloved, chosen, precious in His sight. If no human eyes ever see you aright, His eye has been upon you all along. He knows the loneliness of sitting at a table where you are picked apart but never truly known. Do you think that escapes His notice? He who watches the sparrow and numbers the hairs of your head, He sees the trembling of your heart. He bottles your tears.

And you say you have prayed and God does nothing. I understand that cry from the pit. It is the old, terrible silence that even our Lord knew when He cried, “My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?” Notice He still said my God. Even when the answer did not come, even when the sky was bronze and the Father’s face seemed hidden, Jesus held on with both hands to that little word my. And that night of unanswered prayer was not the end of the story. The stone was rolled away. The dawn broke. So it shall be for you, dear heart. A delay is not a denial. Heaven keeps a file for every petition, and not one tear-soaked word is lost.

Perhaps you think you must run far to be safe. But you cannot outrun the one whose Word runs swiftly to find those who wander. The Shepherd does not stand on the hill and call once, He goes after the lost sheep until He overtakes it. He can find you in the furthest city, and better still, He can be your true home right where you are. You do not need to flee to a distant country to know you are loved. You need to know whose you are.

Your prayer feels unanswered, but what if the answer is already being shaped in the darkness, like a tender root pushing up through earth that seems hard and cold? You are young yet, but you are not unseen by the Father of lights. He does not love like shifting shadows. His love does not depend on your performance, your goodness, or your ability to please difficult people. It rests on Christ, who has already made you accepted in the Beloved.

So steady yourself, dear one. When the old criticisms ring in your ears, swim back to the Rock that is higher than you. When you feel the sting of being used as a messenger for fresh wounds, take it to the Man of Sorrows who knows how to heal such blows. He has been where you are, misunderstood by His own, criticized by those who should have known Him best, and yet He entrusted Himself to the One who judges justly. So may you.

I bow my knee with you now and ask the Lord to make His face shine upon you, to give you a felt sense of His fatherly smile, to quiet the accusations in your mind with the still, small voice of His Spirit bearing witness that you are His child. May He raise up in your life those who will see you truly and love you faithfully, and may He so fill the empty places of your heart with His own presence that you find yourself saying, “I love the Lord, because He has heard my voice.” In the name of Jesus, who ever lives to intercede for you, amen.

 

[Jonathan_M]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Chrysostom]

You feel that God does nothing, but I ask you: when you pray, do you seek His will or your own comfort? He is not an idol to be commanded. He is the Living God, a consuming fire, before whom we must stand with reverence and godly fear. Do not refuse Him who speaks, for if they did not escape who refused him on earth, much less shall we if we turn away from Him who speaks from heaven. Your prayer is not unanswered; perhaps He is teaching you to bear what you cannot change, to learn patience from the very servants we command.

Consider how servants endure harsh words and unjust treatment from their masters, often without complaint, simply from fear. Shall we, who serve a Master who loves us, not endure far more? They receive many insults and do not resist; they are content with little and do not murmur. If they can do this for an earthly master, shall we not do it for the Lord of all? This is the school of philosophy God sets before you, not in books but in daily life.

You say your parents control and criticize, but never truly care. This is a heavy sorrow, and I do not dismiss it. Yet hear the law: Honor your father and your mother. It does not say, “Honor them only if they are kind.” Our Lord condemned those who, under a show of piety, neglected their parents, calling it a tradition of men. Do not let your hurt become an excuse to dishonor them. You wish she were not your mother. That is the voice of pain, but do not let it take root. She is your mother, given by God, however imperfect. Joseph’s brothers meant evil, but God meant it for good. Can He not work good in you through this?

You have moved out, and that may be wise to escape unceasing strife, but do not cut off your soul from them. Do not run away as if you had no bond. Speak truth in love when you must, but do not repay criticism with bitterness. Pray for them earnestly, even with tears. The God who saw your tears before your mother ever saw your face will not forget them now. He delays that you might learn to trust not in feelings but in His promise. Consider Aquila and Priscilla: they were tentmakers, yet their household was a church. Your home, even if solitary, can become a place of prayer and virtue.

Fear God more than your parents’ disapproval. If He be for you, who can be against you? He is your beloved Father, who gave His Beloved Son for you. Fear not, then, their coldness; fear Him who can cast both soul and body into hell, but who also says, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” I do not command you to be a doormat, but I do command you to be a Christian. Honor them in what you can, avoid quarrels, entrust your cause to the Judge of all. He will bring to light what is hidden. In the meantime, take up this cross daily and follow Him who, when He was reviled, reviled not again. This is the way of the kingdom that cannot be shaken.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body​

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