Silas
Beloved of All
Thank you for sharing your story with such honesty and for inviting prayer. The pain of missing your children, especially on a birthday, and the weight of these years of loss and upheaval is real, and it is right to bring it before the Lord. James reminds us that the prayer of a righteous person has great power, and you have asked others to pray with you for a long time. God hears those prayers.
What you describe has many parallels to the story of Job, and that book has much to teach us for your situation. Job is counted among the poetry books of Scripture, and it may be one of the oldest books we have, perhaps from the time of Abraham. Though cultures have changed, the deep needs and questions Job expressed are still the needs people carry today, and listening to his cries helps us with the deepest issues of life.
Scripture gives us background that Job and his friends could not see. God spoke well of Job in heaven, and Satan challenged that testimony. Having studied Job closely, Satan developed a philosophy about him, that Job only honored God because God had put a hedge around him and blessed him with wealth and family, and that if those blessings were removed Job would turn away. That same enemy still studies God's people and looks for weak points, and when the kingdom is advancing he shows greater interest. It is not surprising that a season of growth and baptisms and evident blessing would be followed by intense opposition. That does not mean God has abandoned you. It means the conflict is real and heaven is aware of it.
Job lost much and suffered greatly, yet he did not curse God. He did curse the day of his birth and he longed for death, saying he would rejoice to find the grave, but he would not charge God foolishly. For seven days and seven nights his friends sat silent with him because his grief was so great, and then they began to speak. Instead of comforting him they rebuked him. One told him he must have sinned and needed to get right with God. Another called him a hypocrite and said his suffering proved he had forgotten God. A third accused him of empty and windy words. In the end God said those friends had not spoken rightly and needed Job to pray for them. Their counsel was that of miserable comforters. It is wrong to assume, as they did, that great suffering proves great wickedness. And we must also remember that many of Job's own statements about death and about God were not inspired doctrine but the words of a grieving man. Scripture faithfully records what he said, but his grief was speaking.
In his confusion Job cried out for someone to stand between him and God, one who could lay a hand on both and bring them together, who could remove the sense of distance and fear. That cry is answered in Jesus Christ. He is the one who is one with the Father and has become one with us, who puts his arm around us and brings us into touch with God. Through him we can come honestly before God even when we do not understand our circumstances. Like Job you have said you do not understand. That is an honest place. Job did not understand either, and God did not immediately explain everything to him. Yet Job learned to receive both good and hardship from the Lord's hand without turning against him, and in time God revealed himself more deeply and Job found forgiveness and restoration.
You have walked by faith and not by sight, quoting that truth many times, and you have seen God open doors in remarkable ways, phone calls and opportunities that appeared at just the right moment. That is a good reminder that God does open doors. At the same time, an open door alone does not always mean it is God's settled will for you to walk through it for a long time. It is wise and biblical to pray as you have prayed, that God would shut the door if it is not his will. Keep praying that way and ask for clear wisdom, for provision, and for peace that confirms his leading. He sees your exhaustion from months of gig work, the burden of renting a vehicle, the strain of difficult living conditions and harsh treatment, and the tension of feeling torn between staying where you believe God brought you and stepping away for a season to find relief and to save. He also sees your desire to act in faith and not in sight.
Heaven also sees what has happened in your family. God is not pleased when a marriage covenant is broken or when children are taken from a parent through deceit. Marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and sexual faithfulness and living together belong within that covenant. Your willingness to forgive and to love your wife as Christ loves the church is Christlike, and your prayers for her repentance and softening of heart are right. Continue to pray that God would do whatever is necessary to bring her to repentance, that she would turn to Christ for salvation if she does not know him, and that God would protect and shepherd your children who are so young and so missed. Pray also that God would guard your own heart from bitterness and keep you patient as Job was called patient, trusting God even in the wilderness where you have felt tested in every way.
We will pray for your wife, that God would work in her heart and draw her to himself and to repentance. We will pray for your children, that God would keep them, provide for them, and in his time bring healing and restoration where there has been division. We will pray for you as you travel and make decisions about this temporary work, that God would give you wisdom, shut what should be shut and open what should be opened, provide for your financial needs, give you rest from unrelenting labor, and guide your steps whether you remain where you are or go elsewhere for a season. May the Lord who saw Job through his suffering, who is our mediator and our comfort, be near to you now, give you strength to not charge him foolishly, and keep you walking by faith until you see his purposes more clearly.
What you describe has many parallels to the story of Job, and that book has much to teach us for your situation. Job is counted among the poetry books of Scripture, and it may be one of the oldest books we have, perhaps from the time of Abraham. Though cultures have changed, the deep needs and questions Job expressed are still the needs people carry today, and listening to his cries helps us with the deepest issues of life.
Scripture gives us background that Job and his friends could not see. God spoke well of Job in heaven, and Satan challenged that testimony. Having studied Job closely, Satan developed a philosophy about him, that Job only honored God because God had put a hedge around him and blessed him with wealth and family, and that if those blessings were removed Job would turn away. That same enemy still studies God's people and looks for weak points, and when the kingdom is advancing he shows greater interest. It is not surprising that a season of growth and baptisms and evident blessing would be followed by intense opposition. That does not mean God has abandoned you. It means the conflict is real and heaven is aware of it.
Job lost much and suffered greatly, yet he did not curse God. He did curse the day of his birth and he longed for death, saying he would rejoice to find the grave, but he would not charge God foolishly. For seven days and seven nights his friends sat silent with him because his grief was so great, and then they began to speak. Instead of comforting him they rebuked him. One told him he must have sinned and needed to get right with God. Another called him a hypocrite and said his suffering proved he had forgotten God. A third accused him of empty and windy words. In the end God said those friends had not spoken rightly and needed Job to pray for them. Their counsel was that of miserable comforters. It is wrong to assume, as they did, that great suffering proves great wickedness. And we must also remember that many of Job's own statements about death and about God were not inspired doctrine but the words of a grieving man. Scripture faithfully records what he said, but his grief was speaking.
In his confusion Job cried out for someone to stand between him and God, one who could lay a hand on both and bring them together, who could remove the sense of distance and fear. That cry is answered in Jesus Christ. He is the one who is one with the Father and has become one with us, who puts his arm around us and brings us into touch with God. Through him we can come honestly before God even when we do not understand our circumstances. Like Job you have said you do not understand. That is an honest place. Job did not understand either, and God did not immediately explain everything to him. Yet Job learned to receive both good and hardship from the Lord's hand without turning against him, and in time God revealed himself more deeply and Job found forgiveness and restoration.
You have walked by faith and not by sight, quoting that truth many times, and you have seen God open doors in remarkable ways, phone calls and opportunities that appeared at just the right moment. That is a good reminder that God does open doors. At the same time, an open door alone does not always mean it is God's settled will for you to walk through it for a long time. It is wise and biblical to pray as you have prayed, that God would shut the door if it is not his will. Keep praying that way and ask for clear wisdom, for provision, and for peace that confirms his leading. He sees your exhaustion from months of gig work, the burden of renting a vehicle, the strain of difficult living conditions and harsh treatment, and the tension of feeling torn between staying where you believe God brought you and stepping away for a season to find relief and to save. He also sees your desire to act in faith and not in sight.
Heaven also sees what has happened in your family. God is not pleased when a marriage covenant is broken or when children are taken from a parent through deceit. Marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and sexual faithfulness and living together belong within that covenant. Your willingness to forgive and to love your wife as Christ loves the church is Christlike, and your prayers for her repentance and softening of heart are right. Continue to pray that God would do whatever is necessary to bring her to repentance, that she would turn to Christ for salvation if she does not know him, and that God would protect and shepherd your children who are so young and so missed. Pray also that God would guard your own heart from bitterness and keep you patient as Job was called patient, trusting God even in the wilderness where you have felt tested in every way.
We will pray for your wife, that God would work in her heart and draw her to himself and to repentance. We will pray for your children, that God would keep them, provide for them, and in his time bring healing and restoration where there has been division. We will pray for you as you travel and make decisions about this temporary work, that God would give you wisdom, shut what should be shut and open what should be opened, provide for your financial needs, give you rest from unrelenting labor, and guide your steps whether you remain where you are or go elsewhere for a season. May the Lord who saw Job through his suffering, who is our mediator and our comfort, be near to you now, give you strength to not charge him foolishly, and keep you walking by faith until you see his purposes more clearly.
