Justbecause5

Servant
There is power in prayer (James 5:16).

I have requested prayers on many occasions. Some of you will know why others may wonder why.

My wife left me in August 2022. My family and I were in Alaska working with a small church. We did a great job and our time there was complete.

In the Spring of 2022, I had broken my foot falling down the stairs. Thus, it was harder to locate further employment. Also, my wife surprised me one day, by purchasing tickets for her and my daughter to go overseas to visit family. She did not ask me or tell me, etc..

So, now I’m dealing with a broken foot and trying to navigate a new job while knowing that my wife and daughter are going overseas in a few months (9/2022). I have two young sons to take care of.

I secured a teaching job in Texas, my home state. I turned down other more lucrative positions for a small smaller school that allow me to be very close to my two sons. So, I took it. It was also very near to San Antonio, Texas, a town that my wife and I both loved together.

I had hoped that my wife would go overseas and visit family and begin to miss all of us to the point where she would return and restore our marriage and family in an area very close to the town that we love so much.

After the boys and I left Alaska, we landed in that small Texas town. It was very difficult because we had very little money. Some brethren in Texas helped us and without them we would’ve been living in the classroom. I was waiting fervently for the first paycheck, which also included a moving allowance.

The day that it arrived I was very excited. The boys and I got ready and headed to the school. I had checked my bank account multiple times to make sure the money was there and it was. It was going to be a great day I thought.

During the conference., Once again, I checked the bank account and began to make plans for that evening. I was so excited for myself and also for my children. My plan was to get the things that they needed, but also to start to prepare for my wife and daughter coming back, which included a comfortable place to live & a vehicle.

During my conference., The principal and HR lady came to my room and told me that my wife came and taking the boys. Like, Niagara Falls, I instantly started crying like a baby. I could not stop it. I could not control it. I was in so much pain instantly it was like someone shot me and left me in incredibly wounded.

I’m surprised I lived that day. The shock. The pain. The nearly 300 mile drive back to my dad’s house, crying almost the entire way often finding myself in the wrong way traffic.

I pleaded with God to restore my marriage family. I pleaded with God to take me back to Alaska. Texas was 5000 miles away from Alaska. That’s a long ways away. So I pleaded with God to take me back.

I tried to go back on my own, but moving to Alaska is very difficult. My efforts failed. It’s like God wanted me to finish the school year. I did, but it was very very difficult. I saw the remains and remnants of my sons being there. Little signs that they put on the wall in my classroom. Their backpacks underneath my desk every day was painful.

After the school year, I went back to my dad’s house. I had no idea what I would do for income. Again, I was still trying to go to Alaska, but it seemed impossible. One day, it was 105°F and I received a phone call from a lady named ### asking me if I was interested in a six week job requiring me to go to California. Immediately said yes.

I work for the company three times and in the summer of 2024 it seemed that God had paved the way for me to go back to Alaska. The job had me in California. The job provided me income. The job provided me a free flight back home. Then in the end of July 2024 I got a job offered to teach school and coach basketball in Alaska I took it.

I went back to Alaska walking by faith and not by sight. Even though, I had tried I was unsuccessful in finding a place to live in a vehicle to drive still, I walked by faith and went to Alaska with no place to live in no car to drive. I landed at 12:15 AM and I had nowhere to go.

I was so confident that before the plane landed, my wife would somehow get in touch with me and all the pain and sorrow would be over and reconciliation would take place. I was wrong. I spent the next 2+ years in Alaska suffering in almost every way possible I mean I suffered.

I saw incredible things that inspired me and increase my faith, but overall the two years was marked by suffering after suffering after suffering. I could write a book.

For example, I lost my job at the school due to no fault of my own. My basketball team was 6-1. My players like me a lot.

I worked for the previous company in Alaska, but it was only temporary for like 12 weeks.

I then started doing gig work. But then I started having car issues. It’s like every positive thing was overshadowed by a much bigger negative thing. But somehow I survived.

I believe God is working in our lives (Phil 1:6). I pray fervently for a consistent job even though I was doing very well doing gig work. However, I had to rent a car from November 2025 until I left Alaska in September 2026.

God gave me this temporary job working for the same company I worked for before. This project is about three months long, right now we are starting week number seven today. I stay in really nice hotels and we test really expensive vehicles. Right now, I am in Montana. I will be going back to Seattle later this week.

This job is not permanent. But God lifted me up. So many bad things were happening to me and it’s like God scooped me up and took me here to Montana for this temporary job. A good job.

I’m so thankful to God. I would prefer to have stability stability and income is such an incredible thing. Never take it for granted but here I am, God is providing for me.

In this particular work, unlike in the past, overtime is not issue. We work a lot of overtime. I worked 67.5 hours last week along with per diem and the free hotel. It’s a good deal. I’m thankful to God.

But I find myself coming to this prayer request site when I get really weak right now, it’s Monday 7:42 AM and we are leaving at 9 AM and I found myself getting really depressed and sad Maybe it’s because yesterday was our one day off and now that day is in the past and now it’s back to work for six days.

I just get really overwhelmed because I miss my children. I dream about them at night. I have shit so many tears. I’m just so exhausted from life. I’ve never been suicidal, but I’ve lived in pain so much that I wish that the Lord would just take me. I wish he would exchange my life for someone else who was suddenly taken away, I really mean that.

I wish God would just send a chariot to come and get me and take me away. I love God with all my heart. I became a Christian July 5, 1979. I believe firmly fully in the sacrifice of Christ and what he did for the world and for me..

I’ve always been a forgiving person. I stay prepared to love and forgive my wife for what she did to me. She did some horrible things to me. Marriage is supposed to be for life.

I love my children. I miss them. I would quit this job today and fly back to Alaska if the opportunity allowed.

This job is temporary in last we heard it’s supposed to last until Thanksgiving. It’s possible that it could pick up next year for another 6 to 9 months. If so, I have no choice, but to take advantage of that life-changing opportunity.

But I would go back to Alaska in a heartbeat to restore my marriage and family.

Yesterday, I was scrolling through a bunch of ads for churches, looking for preachers. It made me want to stand behind the pulpit and teaching breach. Life’s tragedies often help preachers make great sermons that help others. I would love to be preaching, but I know it’s almost impossible not being with my wife.

Unfortunately, a lot of churches often look down on preachers that are single are in difficult situations. No doubt Satan is involved in these type of things (John 10:10).

I just need strength.

Please pray for my wife - ###. Please pray for my children. Please pray that I’ll have strength to keep on keeping on.

I want to keep myself pure. I want to be pleasing unto God.

Thank you
 
We have read your update with deeply moved hearts and we thank you for sharing so honestly with us. We have carried your burden before the Lord many times and we continue to do so, for we believe as you quoted that the insistent prayer of a righteous person is powerfully effective James 5:16. Your story of ###, the broken foot, the surprise departure of your wife and daughter overseas, the painful loss of your sons in ###, the long suffering and the walk by faith back to ### with no place to live and no car, has been a walk through deep waters. Yet we see your faith still clinging to Christ since July 5, 1979, and we praise God that you still love Him with all your heart and still believe firmly in the sacrifice of Christ for the world and for you.

We want to affirm what you have said so well, that marriage is supposed to be for life. That is the heart of God. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate Matthew 19:6. The Lord hates divorce Malachi 2:16 and He calls a husband and wife to remain faithful to one another as long as both shall live. Your desire to forgive your wife, to remain pure and pleasing unto God, and to see your marriage and family restored is righteous and honors God. We honor you for choosing purity in a time when many would fall into fornication or adultery to comfort loneliness. We encourage you to keep yourself pure, for marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the bed undefiled Hebrews 13:4. Sex before or outside marriage is not God's way, and your commitment to keep yourself for your wife is pleasing to Him.

We also hear your weariness and the heaviness you felt on that Monday morning at 7:42 AM, getting ready to work six more days, missing your children, dreaming about them, having shed so many tears. You said you have never been suicidal but you have lived in so much pain that you wish the Lord would just take you or send a chariot to carry you away. We speak to that gently and with love. Your life is precious to God and He still has purpose for you. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit Psalm 34:18. He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds Psalm 147:3. When your heart is overwhelmed, you can cry to Him and He will lead you to the rock that is higher than you Psalm 61:2. We rebuke the despair that whispers it would be better to be gone, for the thief only comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but Jesus came that we may have life, and may have it abundantly John 10:10. God has not forgotten you in ### or ### or ###. We know that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Jesus Christ Philippians 1:6 and that in all things God works for good with those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose Romans 8:28.

Your longing to preach again is a beautiful desire. Life's tragedies often do help preachers make great sermons that help others, as you said. Do not believe the lie that God cannot use you while you are separated. Continue to abide in Christ, stay in fellowship with faithful brethren, and let God open doors in His time. Do not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up Galatians 6:9. The Lord gives power to the weak and to him who has no might He increases strength Isaiah 40:29. Fear not, for He is with you, be not dismayed, for He is your God, He will strengthen you, He will help you, He will uphold you with the right hand of His righteousness Isaiah 41:10.

We also rejoice with you that God has lifted you up in this temporary work, providing hotels, per diem, overtime, and good provision after so much renting and gig work and car trouble. Every good gift comes from Him and we thank Him for this mercy. We pray for stability and for wisdom about the future, whether that is another season of this work or a door back to ### or elsewhere. Come to Him when you are weary and burdened and He will give you rest Matthew 11:28. Cast all your worries on Him, because He cares for you 1 Peter 5:7.

We join together in prayer for you now.

Father in heaven, we come before Your throne in the name of Jesus Christ, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved Acts 4:12 and through Him we have access to You. We thank You for our brother who loves You and who has walked by faith through so much suffering. We ask You to strengthen him today, to lift his heavy heart, to renew his mind, to guard his heart and mind in Christ Jesus with the peace that surpasses all understanding Philippians 4:7. Comfort him as only You can, remind him that You are near and that his labor and tears are not in vain.

We pray for his wife, that You would soften her heart, convict her where she needs conviction, draw her to Yourself, and lead her toward reconciliation and restoration of this marriage as You desire for marriages to be lifelong covenants between a man and a woman. We pray for his daughter and his two sons, that You would protect them, keep them in health and faith, and keep the father's love ever before them, and in Your time bring this family together again under one roof. Forbid any hardness or influence that would keep them apart.

We pray for his daily provision and for the work in ### and ###, that You would continue to provide, that You would grant favor with his employers, and that You would make clear his next steps after Thanksgiving, whether to continue in this work or to return to ### or to preach again. Give him wisdom, open doors no man can shut, and let him remain pure, holy, and pleasing unto You in all things.

Sustain him, Lord, when he is overwhelmed, when he misses his children at night, when the hotel room feels lonely, when the memories of the classroom and the backpacks under the desk return. Let him wait for You and be strong and let his heart take courage Psalm 27:14. Let Your grace be sufficient for him, for Your power is made perfect in weakness 2 Corinthians 12:9. Keep him from all evil, keep his feet from the wrong way traffic of despair, and set his feet on solid ground.

We thank You that he is prepared to forgive as You forgave us Ephesians 4:32. Keep that forgiving spirit alive and protect him from bitterness. We ask all this in the mighty and merciful name of Jesus Christ our Lord, amen.
 
If you are in immediate danger, please contact your local emergency services right now. For free, confidential support, you can find a helpline in your country at findahelpline.com. You are not alone and trained people are ready to help right now.

We read your update and we hear how heavy this Monday morning feels as you head back to work in ###. Thank you for sharing your story so honestly, from ### to ###, the day the boys were taken, the long drive, finishing the school year with their little signs still on your classroom wall, and these last two years of trying to find steady work and a place to live. It makes sense you feel exhausted and overwhelmed, and that you miss your children so deeply.

We are grateful for your long walk with the Lord since ### and for your desire to stay pure and pleasing to Him, and for your willingness to forgive even while carrying real hurt. Wanting stability, wanting to preach again, and wanting to be near your family are good and understandable desires, and the uncertainty of temporary work in hotels can make loneliness feel sharper.

When thoughts come of wishing the Lord would take you, please do not carry them alone. Alongside prayer, we encourage you to reach out soon in person to a trusted pastor or counselor or doctor and let them know how you have been feeling this week, so you have steady support nearby while you are traveling.

Father, we lift our brother to You in Jesus name. Give him strength for today and for this work week, comfort in his missing his children, and wisdom for what comes after Thanksgiving. Watch over his wife and children and draw each of them to Your care. Place faithful people around him to walk with him day by day. Amen.
 

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