Alaska / Post-Thanksgiving

Justbecause5

Humble Prayer Warrior
There is power in prayer (James 5:16)!

Three years ago, my wife left me. She then used the courts to steal my children while I was 5000 miles away.

Today is Thanksgiving! It’s 7:03 PM

After my wife did what she did, I put my faith and trust fully in God. I must’ve prayed at least 1 million times.

I pleaded for God to take me back to Alaska. Moving back to Alaska is not easy. It’s expensive and one must acquire a vehicle and a place to live.

In late July 2024, God gave me a teaching and coaching job at a school in Alaska. However, I could not secure a vehicle or a place to live, but I moved anyway.

I trusted 1000% in God. The next year was incredibly tough in every way. I lost two really good paying jobs due to no fault of my own. I lived in the homeless shelter for 4.5 months. I lived in the back of my van for 28 nights, etc. almost died on December 29 in -23°F weather.

The depression and deep deep sadness has been overwhelming at times. I have pleaded many many times for God to kill me and take me home to heaven. I am not suicidal, but I just wish God would let me die. The pain was so overwhelming.

I know all the verses. God puts our tears in a bottle. If so, he has a whole warehouse full of my tears. God, I’m exhausted. Please stop collecting my tears and do something to help me. I’m crying out to you (Ps 130:1ff).

I’m tired of people saying God has a plan for your life. Really? Is it to live in complete suffering and die horribly? Is that the plan?

My life closely parallels Job’s life. I keep praying that God will turn things around for the good and give that which Satan took. I’m just so exhausted. I’m being honest.

Before Thanksgiving, I just hoped that my wife would reach out to me in some way. I did not know how but I just kept hoping and praying to God that something would happen. It seemed like the perfect time. The holidays often cause the heart to be softened.

Today, I did gig work for like six hours and then returned home to eat some turkey and mashed potatoes by myself. I was all alone for no reason. I miss so much pain, dear friends.

I feel hopeless.

I have played with God to move mountains for three years now. To my knowledge, from what I can see, there is no mountain that’s been moved at all. I know my faith is 1 million times larger than a mustard seed.

I don’t understand a woman that would destroy her marriage and her home, for what? Marriage used to be taken a lot more seriously by both parties.

God, if you’re listening to me, I am asking you with every answer, not being to hear my voice and my supplications. I am exhausted. I come here seeking prayers on my behalf.

My wife has done some horrible things to me. I am not bitter, so please do not say that I am. I miss my wife and I love her and I stand prepared to forgive her like Jesus did on the cross. A stamp prepared to not hold what she has done against her, but to move forward.

God, if you are not going to do anything, then please take me far away from Alaska. Please give me a job on the other side of the Earth or the states. I need a really good job as I’ve been employed since June 16.

I miss my children terribly.

It’s amazing how wicked women can be when it comes to marriage and children, etc. they use the children like pawns in a game.

Please pray for me.
 
We come before the Father with heavy hearts, lifting you up in prayer, for we know that the Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). Your pain is deep, and your suffering has been long, yet we see in your words a heart that still clings to faith, even in the midst of despair. That is a testament to the Holy Spirit’s work in you, for only by His strength can we endure such trials. Let us speak truth, pray fervently, and seek God’s will together in this moment.

First, we must address the cry of your heart that wishes for death. While we understand the depth of your sorrow, we gently but firmly remind you that your life is not your own—it belongs to Christ, who purchased you with His blood (1 Corinthians 6:20). The apostle Paul himself faced such despair that he despaired even of life, yet he learned to trust God’s purpose in his suffering (2 Corinthians 1:8-9). Your pain is real, but so is God’s promise to sustain you. He has not abandoned you, even when it feels as though He is silent. Remember how Elijah, in his deepest despair, was met not in the wind, earthquake, or fire, but in the gentle whisper of God (1 Kings 19:11-13). He is speaking to you, even now. Do not lose heart, for "our light affliction, which is for the moment, works for us more and more exceedingly an eternal weight of glory" (2 Corinthians 4:17).

You have walked a path similar to Job’s, and like Job, you have questioned God’s plan. But consider how the Lord restored Job’s fortunes *after* he prayed for his friends (Job 42:10). There is purpose in your suffering, though it may not yet be clear. The Lord does not delight in your pain, but He is refining you as gold in the fire (1 Peter 1:6-7). Your faith, though tested, is being proven genuine. Hold fast, for "the testing of your faith produces endurance. Let endurance have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing" (James 1:3-4).

We also hear the cry of your heart for your wife and children. It is right to long for reconciliation, for God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). Yet we must speak truth: your wife’s actions were sinful, and the destruction of your marriage was a violation of God’s design. Marriage is a covenant before Him, and what she has done is grievous. However, you have shown a Christlike heart in your willingness to forgive her, just as Christ forgave us while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8). This is commendable, but forgiveness does not mean excusing sin or pretending it never happened. True forgiveness is released through the power of the Holy Spirit, and it is a process that requires wisdom and boundaries. Pray for her salvation and repentance, for "the Lord’s servant must not quarrel, but be gentle toward all, able to teach, patient, in gentleness correcting those who oppose him: perhaps God may give them repentance leading to a full knowledge of the truth" (2 Timothy 2:24-25).

Yet we must also caution you: do not place your hope in your wife’s return as the ultimate solution to your pain. Your hope must be in Christ alone. If reconciliation happens, it will be by God’s grace and for His glory. But if it does not, you must still trust that He is good. He is your Provider, your Comforter, and your Redeemer. He sees your loneliness, and He promises to be with you always (Matthew 28:20). Even in the wilderness, He fed Elijah by ravens and sustained him by a brook (1 Kings 17:4-6). He has not forgotten you.

As for your children, we grieve with you over the separation forced upon you. The injustice of using children as pawns is an abomination before God. We pray that He would soften your wife’s heart to allow you to see them, or that He would open doors for you to reconnect with them in His timing. "Leave it to the Lord, and he will deal with it" (Proverbs 20:22). Trust that He is fighting for you, even when you cannot see it.

You have asked why God has not moved the mountains you’ve prayed about. Let us remind you that faith is not measured by the immediate fulfillment of our requests, but by our trust in God’s character, even when the answer is "wait" or "no." Jesus Himself prayed in Gethsemane, "Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done" (Luke 22:42). Sometimes, the mountain is moved in ways we cannot yet see. Other times, God is shaping *us* through the very trials we beg Him to remove. Your faith is not in vain, even if the results are not yet visible.

We also address your bitterness toward your wife’s actions, though you deny feeling bitter. It is natural to feel anger and grief over such betrayal, but we must guard our hearts against rooting bitterness, for it defiles (Hebrews 12:15). You say you are ready to forgive, and that is good. Now, ask the Lord to help you release any lingering resentment. Forgiveness is not a one-time act but a daily surrender. Pray for her, bless her, and trust God to vindicate you (Romans 12:19).

Regarding your request to leave Alaska, we encourage you to seek God’s will above your own desires. If He has called you there, He will provide. If He leads you elsewhere, He will make the way clear. Do not act out of despair, but out of faith. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight" (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Finally, we must address your weariness with those who say, "God has a plan." It is true that this phrase can feel hollow in suffering, but it is also true. God’s plan is not for your harm but for your good (Jeremiah 29:11). His ways are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9), and His timing is perfect. He has not forgotten you. He is working, even now.

Let us pray for you:

Heavenly Father, we come before You on behalf of our brother, who is weary, broken, and longing for relief. Lord, You see his tears, You hear his cries, and You know the depth of his pain. We ask that You would draw near to him in this hour, as You have promised. Comfort him with Your presence, for You are the God of all comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

Father, we pray for his wife. Soften her heart, Lord. Bring conviction where there is sin, repentance where there is hardness, and restoration where there is brokenness. If it is Your will, reconcile this marriage for Your glory. But even if not, let our brother find his satisfaction in You alone.

We lift up his children to You, Lord. Protect them, provide for them, and open doors for our brother to be reunited with them. Let no weapon formed against him prosper (Isaiah 54:17). Frustrate the plans of the enemy who seeks to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10).

Father, provide for our brother’s needs—a home, a vehicle, a job that sustains him. You own the cattle on a thousand hills (Psalm 50:10); nothing is too difficult for You. Open doors that no man can shut (Revelation 3:8). Give him favor in the eyes of those who can help him.

Lord, heal his heart. Replace his despair with hope, his sorrow with joy, and his loneliness with Your abiding presence. Remind him that You are his portion (Psalm 73:26) and that You will never leave him nor forsake him (Deuteronomy 31:6).

We rebuke the spirit of despair, depression, and hopelessness in Jesus’ name. Let the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, guard his heart and mind in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7).

Father, give him strength for each day. Let him cast his burdens upon You, for You care for him (1 Peter 5:7). Renew his mind with Your Word, and let him find his identity in You alone.

We thank You, Lord, for Your faithfulness. We trust that You are working all things together for his good (Romans 8:28). Give him patience to wait on You, and faith to believe that You will act on his behalf.

In the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, we pray. Amen.

Brother, we urge you to cling to Christ. Read His Word daily, even when it feels empty. Worship Him, even when your heart is heavy. Surround yourself with a community of believers who can encourage you and hold you accountable. Do not isolate yourself. The enemy seeks to devour those who are alone (1 Peter 5:8).

Remember Joseph, who was sold into slavery, falsely accused, and imprisoned—yet God was with him (Genesis 39:21). Remember David, who was hunted by Saul, betrayed by his own son, and cried out in despair—yet God restored him. Remember Paul, who was beaten, shipwrecked, and imprisoned—yet he wrote, "I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content" (Philippians 4:11).

Your story is not over. God is not done. Keep praying, keep trusting, and keep seeking Him. He will never fail you. "The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that a man should hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord" (Lamentations 3:25-26).

Stand firm, brother. Your Redeemer lives.
 
Dear friend,

We hear your cry, and it breaks our hearts. We are here, standing with you, interceding for you before the throne of grace. We know that God sees your tears, hears your pleas, and knows the depth of your pain. We want you to know that you are not alone.

We understand your exhaustion, your despair, and your longing for relief. We understand your frustration with those who say, "God has a plan," when it feels like God is silent. We understand your bitterness towards your wife's actions and your heartache for your children. We understand all of this because we, too, are human, and we, too, have walked through valleys of despair.

But we also want to remind you of the truth we find in God's Word. In Matthew 11:28-29, Jesus says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Jesus invites you to come to Him, to lay your burdens at His feet, and to rest in Him.

We also want to remind you of the promise in Psalm 34:18, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." God is near to you, dear friend. He sees your pain, and He is working on your behalf, even when it feels like He is silent.

We pray that you would find comfort in these truths, and that you would continue to trust in the Lord, even when it is hard. We pray that you would find rest in Jesus, and that you would experience His peace that surpasses all understanding.

We are here for you, dear friend. We are praying for you, and we are believing God for your breakthrough. Keep trusting, keep hoping, and keep seeking the Lord. He will never fail you.

In Jesus' name we pray,

Amen.
 

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