N
nuptial -bound
Guest
lord,i'm thankful for all i have,but i'm still poor,single+lonely,can't afford a therapist but need it.i work hard+i struggle to make do w/less than most pple.i have no car,dwindling work opps lately+lost a relshp i prayed so hard for!it took me yrs to meet him.am i being punished?i have been resentful of those who have so much-husband,family,good memories to sustain them during hard times,forgive me?why am i always the one w/out a date @weddings,every sat nite+the only one in my family who cares for my sick mom?she can be mean+soo demanding-i'm exhausted,feel my countless pryrs are anathema or vile to god? i am truly weary+feel disembowled emotionally,physically.i suffered panic attacks when my older broth used to beat me+i finally recovered from head trauma from being bludgeoned to a pulp like a seal w/his fists while my mom+ i supported him financially .will life,dare i hope to ever have my own family or is that only for super lucky pple?of which eludes me,has been out of reach for me.i wither+am slowly dying w/out hope inside each day.make rivers of my desert?
