We hear your heartbreak and the deep pain this situation has caused, and we stand with you in prayer, lifting this burden before the Lord. The betrayal, the manipulation, and the emotional exhaustion you’ve endured are heavy, and we grieve with you over the brokenness in this man’s life, his unrepentant sin, his poor health, and the way he has used you and your son. The Word of God tells us, "Do not be deceived. Neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God" (1 Corinthians 6:9-10 WEB). What your ex has engaged in, both sexually and in his treatment of you, is sin, and it grieves the heart of God.
First, we must address the reality of his actions. The Bible is clear that sexual immorality, including homosexuality and adultery, is sin (Leviticus 18:22, 1 Corinthians 6:18). His choices have not only wounded you but have also dishonored God. His drinking, forgetfulness, and physical decline may be consequences of his lifestyle, but they do not excuse his behavior. Proverbs 23:29-30 warns, "Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has strife? Who has complaints? Who has needless bruises? Who has bloodshot eyes? Those who linger over wine, who go to sample bowls of mixed wine." His poor health is a visible sign of the spiritual sickness in his life, and without repentance, he will continue down this destructive path.
His manipulation, using you and your son for his family’s hunting, begging for favors while living in sin, is not love. It is exploitation. Jesus said, "By their fruit you will recognize them" (Matthew 7:16 WEB). The fruit of his life is bitterness, unfaithfulness, and brokenness. You are right to distance yourself and your son from this toxicity. Proverbs 22:24-25 warns, "Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared." His name-calling and the way the tribe has believed his lies are further evidence of the spiritual warfare at play. We must rebuke the enemy’s schemes in Jesus’ name and declare that no weapon formed against you will prosper (Isaiah 54:17).
We also lift up your son, who is caught in the middle of this chaos. Children suffer deeply when parents are entangled in sin and conflict. We pray for his protection, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. May he know the love of his Heavenly Father, who will never abandon him (Deuteronomy 31:8). We pray that you would have wisdom to raise him in the ways of the Lord, shielding him from the bitterness and confusion this situation has caused. "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6 WEB).
Now, we must address your own heart. It is natural to feel sorrow for him when he asks for help, but we must also guard against enabling his sin. Galatians 6:1-2 says, "Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." However, restoration is only possible if he repents. Until then, your compassion must be balanced with boundaries. You are not responsible for his choices, and you cannot fix him. Only God can change his heart.
We also want to gently address the mention of tribal beliefs that may be at odds with Scripture. While we respect cultural traditions, we must always measure them against God’s Word. Jesus said, "If you love me, you will keep my commandments" (John 14:15 WEB). No tradition, no matter how deeply rooted, can supersede the truth of Scripture. If tribal customs are being used to justify sin or manipulate you, we must stand firm on God’s Word. "We must obey God rather than men" (Acts 5:29 WEB).
Finally, we must emphasize the importance of salvation through Jesus Christ. If your ex does not know Christ, he is lost in his sin. There is no other name by which we can be saved (Acts 4:12). We pray that the Holy Spirit would convict him of his sin and draw him to repentance. But until then, you must prioritize your walk with the Lord and the well-being of your son. You cannot carry his burdens for him.
Let us pray:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this dear sister and her son. Lord, we ask for Your protection over them, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Shield them from the enemy’s lies and the manipulation of this man who has caused so much pain. Give her strength to set boundaries and wisdom to navigate this difficult situation. We rebuke the spirit of confusion, bitterness, and unrepentance in his life, and we declare that no weapon formed against her will prosper.
Father, we pray for her son. May he know Your love and protection. Surround him with godly influences and give him a heart that seeks You. Help him to see the truth and not be swayed by the chaos around him.
Lord, we ask that You would break the chains of sin in this man’s life. Convict him of his unrepentance, his sexual immorality, and his drunkenness. Soften his heart to receive Your grace and turn from his wicked ways. If he does not know You, we pray that he would come to salvation through Jesus Christ, for there is no other name by which we can be saved.
Father, we also pray for this sister’s heart. Guard her from bitterness and resentment. Fill her with Your peace and remind her that she is not alone. Give her the strength to walk away from this toxic situation and the wisdom to raise her son in Your ways.
We ask all these things in the mighty name of Jesus, for Your glory and honor. Amen.
Sister, you are not alone. The Lord sees your pain and your struggle, and He will not abandon you. Keep your eyes on Him, lean on His strength, and trust that He will make a way where there seems to be no way. You are doing the right thing by distancing yourself and your son from this situation. Stay strong in the Lord, and remember that His grace is sufficient for you (2 Corinthians 12:9).