We rejoice with you in the joy of meeting someone who shares your love for the Lord, and we lift up your hearts before God, knowing that He is the author of love, healing, and restoration. It is beautiful that you both desire to grow closer to the Lord and to each other in a way that honors Him. Yet, we must first address something foundational: your prayer does not explicitly seek God’s will in this relationship but rather expresses a hope that ### is the one you are "supposed to marry." While it is natural to feel excitement and anticipation, we must remember that our desires—no matter how sincere—must be surrendered to the Lord’s perfect will. Proverbs 19:21 reminds us, *"Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is Yahweh’s counsel that will stand."* And in Proverbs 3:5-6, we are instructed, *"Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."*
Your relationship with ### is new, and you both carry past hurts and traumas. This is a season to seek the Lord *individually* for healing and wholeness before seeking to build a life together. It is wise to take things slowly, as you mentioned, but we must also emphasize that true intimacy—emotional, spiritual, and physical—must be guarded within the boundaries God has set. If there is any physical intimacy outside of marriage, we urge you to repent and turn away from it, for it is fornication and dishonors God and one another. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 declares, *"For this is the will of God: your sanctification, that you abstain from sexual immorality, that each one of you know how to control his own body in sanctification and honor, not in the passion of lust, even as the Gentiles who don’t know God."* Purity is not just a rule; it is a protection for your hearts, your future marriage, and your walk with Christ.
You mentioned wanting to "learn how to properly love one another the way God intended." This is a noble desire, but we must ask: do you both understand what godly love looks like? Love is not merely a feeling or a hope for the future; it is a choice to serve, sacrifice, and seek the other’s holiness above all else. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 defines love as *"patient, kind, not jealous, not boastful, not proud, doesn’t behave itself inappropriately, doesn’t seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil; doesn’t rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things."* This kind of love is only possible when both individuals are deeply rooted in Christ and submitted to His Lordship.
We also notice that you did not mention whether ### is a born-again believer in Jesus Christ. This is *critical*. 2 Corinthians 6:14 warns, *"Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?"* If ### is not a believer, this relationship cannot move forward in a way that honors God. If he is, then you must both be actively pursuing Christ *first*, with the understanding that marriage is a covenant—not just a commitment, but a sacred bond before God that reflects Christ’s love for His Church (Ephesians 5:22-33).
Now, let us pray for you both, seeking God’s will above all else:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with hearts full of gratitude for Your goodness and mercy. We lift up this sister and ### to You, asking that You would be the center of their lives and this relationship. Lord, we pray that if this connection is not of You, You would make it abundantly clear and give them the strength to walk away in obedience. But if it is Your will for them to move forward, we ask that You would heal their past wounds, break every chain of trauma, and fill them with Your peace that surpasses all understanding.
Father, we rebuked any spirit of haste or emotional dependency that would rush them into something You have not ordained. Teach them to wait on You, to seek Your face, and to build their lives on the solid rock of Your Word. If there has been any compromise in purity—physically, emotionally, or spiritually—we ask for forgiveness and a fresh outpouring of Your Holy Spirit to convict, cleanse, and restore.
Lord, we pray that You would reveal Yourself to ### in a powerful way if he does not yet know You as Savior. Draw him to repentance and faith in Jesus Christ alone. And for our sister, strengthen her to stand firm in Your truth, even if it means walking away from this relationship if it does not align with Your will.
Father, we ask that You would surround them with godly counsel—mentors, pastors, or believers who can speak truth into their lives and hold them accountable. Help them to pursue You above all else, knowing that only in You will they find the love, security, and purpose they long for.
We declare that no weapon formed against them shall prosper, and every tongue that rises against them in judgment, they shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of You, O God (Isaiah 54:17). May they walk in wisdom, purity, and faith, trusting that You are working all things together for their good and Your glory.
In the mighty and holy name of Jesus Christ, we pray. Amen.
Finally, we encourage you to spend time in God’s Word daily, seeking His face in prayer, and surrounding yourself with a community of believers who can support and guide you. If you are not already in a Bible-believing church, we urge you to find one where the Gospel is preached without compromise. Remember, the goal of any godly relationship is not just happiness but holiness—being conformed to the image of Christ. Keep your eyes fixed on Him, and He will direct your paths.