A QUICK START GUIDE TO STANDING - Part 1
"Who is wise? He will realize these things. Who is discerning? He will understand them. The ways of the LORD are right; the righteous walk in them, but the rebellious stumble in them." Hosea 14:9
If you have ever unpacked a new printer or some other computer accessory, underneath the Styrofoam packing, you probably discovered a thick operating manual. My first thought each time I open something new is that I will never master everything in the manual. Dig a bit deeper into the box and you will probably find a quick start guide, with just enough information to get you started using your new device. It is not intended to answer all the questions, but only to get you going in the right direction.
I would like to give you a quick start guide for standing. Much like a new printer, this is not the total manual, but a few tips to both head you in the right direction, and to help you avoid mistakes. The complete manual is found in the Holy Bible. To be a successful stander, you need to be reading and meditating on the Bible daily.
Based on what my wife and I have been hearing from people just like you for over 18 years, here is our quick start guide, which could also be called "22 Facts About Standing" -
"My people are destroyed from lack of knowledge..." Hosea 4:6
1. Do not expect people to understand or to support your stand for marriage restoration. God has given to you, not to others, the assignment and the burden to stand with Him and to pray for your spouse. Because of this, you must always look to God, and not to people for your support.
2. The day that you promise God that you will stand for your marriage, you become like a lightning rod for attacks from the enemy. Expect to be tempted in ways you never imagined. Anticipate the circumstances to become worse. Know that you and your family are now a threat to the work of satan and the evil one and his demons will attempt in every way to get you to give up. If you are a lightning rod for satanic attacks, Jesus Christ is your Ground. He alone can protect you from every harm.
If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes. 2 Corinthians 2:10-12
3. Always remember that this is a spiritual battle, and spiritual battles are won with spiritual weapons. Your following someone’s secular program in hopes of marriage restoration is like going into war in Iraq or Afghanistan armed only with a toy water pistol.
4. Your beloved mate has been taken captive by satan to do his evil will. The words and actions that hurt you today are those of the enemy, and not your spouse’s. Remember, satan is the father of all lies, so do not expect to hear the truth from your prodigal spouse.
5. One way or another, your prodigal will witness or hear about your changed lifestyle when you start looking to God alone to heal and to restore your marriage and family. Your prodigal, with their life in a tailspin, will be strangely attracted to the peace that you have, in spite of the circumstances. Claim that peace by a consistent, close, loving relationship with Jesus Christ. The peace that attracts prodigals comes from God alone, and not from any self-help or secular program designed to get your spouse back in the door.
6. Always remember, this is not about coaxing or manipulating your prodigal spouse back home so that you will be happy. It is a life or death battle for the eternal destiny of your prodigal’s soul. The end result will be life eternal, in Heaven, or a life in Hell, depending on what your beloved does with Jesus.
7. Your stand is about much more than you and your spouse. It is also about your family, your circle of influence, your future generations, and even people you may not even know who are silently following your example.
8. In most instances, your prodigal spouse is better off living in their home than outside. We understand there are safety and health factors that must be considered, but forcing them to leave the family home is often turning them out to satan’s playground. As long as they are in the home, you can better detect your mate’s spiritual needs and thus pray for them.
9. Expect every area of your mate’s life to change as they silently seek relief from the torment the enemy is bringing their way. Do not be wiped out by job changes, moves to distant places, new hobbies and attractions, or even an often-forced attempt to legalize their adultery by entering into a non-covenant marriage with another person. If you are standing strong, God still considers you to be married.
10. Regardless of why your spouse left home, and in spite of what they are saying, most prodigals become involved with another person during their far country experience. Do not be devastated if that happens.
11. No matter what professional-sounding tag has been attached to your wayward spouse, the bottom line is that every husband or wife who has ever walked out on a marriage have all done so because of sin. Your beloved might have a sex, substance or selfishness problem. They might have been diagnosed, often by a professional who has never met them, with a chemical imbalance, bipolar disorder, or mid-life issues. Regardless, they still have a sin problem. Marriages are healed when spouses stop making excuses with man’s terms and start dealing with their mate’s sin problem in the prayer closet. (Does it strike you as strange that someone can attempt to diagnose your spouse without ever meeting them?)
More tomorrow...
And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God. Philippians 1:9-11
Because He lives,
Bob Steinkamp
Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc.
"Who is wise? He will realize these things. Who is discerning? He will understand them. The ways of the LORD are right; the righteous walk in them, but the rebellious stumble in them." Hosea 14:9
If you have ever unpacked a new printer or some other computer accessory, underneath the Styrofoam packing, you probably discovered a thick operating manual. My first thought each time I open something new is that I will never master everything in the manual. Dig a bit deeper into the box and you will probably find a quick start guide, with just enough information to get you started using your new device. It is not intended to answer all the questions, but only to get you going in the right direction.
I would like to give you a quick start guide for standing. Much like a new printer, this is not the total manual, but a few tips to both head you in the right direction, and to help you avoid mistakes. The complete manual is found in the Holy Bible. To be a successful stander, you need to be reading and meditating on the Bible daily.
Based on what my wife and I have been hearing from people just like you for over 18 years, here is our quick start guide, which could also be called "22 Facts About Standing" -
"My people are destroyed from lack of knowledge..." Hosea 4:6
1. Do not expect people to understand or to support your stand for marriage restoration. God has given to you, not to others, the assignment and the burden to stand with Him and to pray for your spouse. Because of this, you must always look to God, and not to people for your support.
2. The day that you promise God that you will stand for your marriage, you become like a lightning rod for attacks from the enemy. Expect to be tempted in ways you never imagined. Anticipate the circumstances to become worse. Know that you and your family are now a threat to the work of satan and the evil one and his demons will attempt in every way to get you to give up. If you are a lightning rod for satanic attacks, Jesus Christ is your Ground. He alone can protect you from every harm.
If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes. 2 Corinthians 2:10-12
3. Always remember that this is a spiritual battle, and spiritual battles are won with spiritual weapons. Your following someone’s secular program in hopes of marriage restoration is like going into war in Iraq or Afghanistan armed only with a toy water pistol.
4. Your beloved mate has been taken captive by satan to do his evil will. The words and actions that hurt you today are those of the enemy, and not your spouse’s. Remember, satan is the father of all lies, so do not expect to hear the truth from your prodigal spouse.
5. One way or another, your prodigal will witness or hear about your changed lifestyle when you start looking to God alone to heal and to restore your marriage and family. Your prodigal, with their life in a tailspin, will be strangely attracted to the peace that you have, in spite of the circumstances. Claim that peace by a consistent, close, loving relationship with Jesus Christ. The peace that attracts prodigals comes from God alone, and not from any self-help or secular program designed to get your spouse back in the door.
6. Always remember, this is not about coaxing or manipulating your prodigal spouse back home so that you will be happy. It is a life or death battle for the eternal destiny of your prodigal’s soul. The end result will be life eternal, in Heaven, or a life in Hell, depending on what your beloved does with Jesus.
7. Your stand is about much more than you and your spouse. It is also about your family, your circle of influence, your future generations, and even people you may not even know who are silently following your example.
8. In most instances, your prodigal spouse is better off living in their home than outside. We understand there are safety and health factors that must be considered, but forcing them to leave the family home is often turning them out to satan’s playground. As long as they are in the home, you can better detect your mate’s spiritual needs and thus pray for them.
9. Expect every area of your mate’s life to change as they silently seek relief from the torment the enemy is bringing their way. Do not be wiped out by job changes, moves to distant places, new hobbies and attractions, or even an often-forced attempt to legalize their adultery by entering into a non-covenant marriage with another person. If you are standing strong, God still considers you to be married.
10. Regardless of why your spouse left home, and in spite of what they are saying, most prodigals become involved with another person during their far country experience. Do not be devastated if that happens.
11. No matter what professional-sounding tag has been attached to your wayward spouse, the bottom line is that every husband or wife who has ever walked out on a marriage have all done so because of sin. Your beloved might have a sex, substance or selfishness problem. They might have been diagnosed, often by a professional who has never met them, with a chemical imbalance, bipolar disorder, or mid-life issues. Regardless, they still have a sin problem. Marriages are healed when spouses stop making excuses with man’s terms and start dealing with their mate’s sin problem in the prayer closet. (Does it strike you as strange that someone can attempt to diagnose your spouse without ever meeting them?)
More tomorrow...
And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God. Philippians 1:9-11
Because He lives,
Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc.
