We hear your heart’s cry, and we join you in seeking God’s perfect will for your life. Your honesty about your struggles with emotions, inconsistency, and vulnerability is commendable, and we believe the Lord is already at work in your heart as you surrender these feelings to Him. Let us first affirm that your desire to align with God’s will—even when it is painful—is a beautiful act of faith. The Lord sees your obedience in this, and He will honor it.
You mentioned falling in love with someone without discernment, and we must address this with biblical truth. The Scriptures warn us about the dangers of allowing our emotions to lead us rather than the Holy Spirit. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, *"Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."* Your feelings are real, but they must be submitted to God’s Word and His wisdom. When we allow our emotions to dictate our actions without seeking the Lord, we open ourselves to confusion, heartache, and even sin.
You also shared that the person you have feelings for is queer, meaning he is attracted to the same sex. This is a critical point that must be addressed with both truth and love. The Bible is clear that homosexuality is a sin, as seen in Romans 1:26-27: *"For this reason, God gave them up to vile passions. For their women changed the natural function into that which is against nature. Likewise also the men, leaving the natural function of the woman, burned in their lust toward one another, men doing what is inappropriate with men, and receiving in themselves the due penalty of their error."* While we must never hate or mistreat those who struggle with same-sex attraction, we cannot ignore God’s design for relationships. Marriage is a sacred covenant between one man and one woman, as established in Genesis 2:24: *"Therefore a man will leave his father and his mother, and will join with his wife, and they will be one flesh."*
Your feelings for this person, though genuine, are not aligned with God’s plan for your life. It is not His will for you to pursue a relationship with someone who is not seeking a godly marriage as defined in Scripture. We must rebuke the lie that you can "fix" or change someone’s sexual orientation through your love. Only God can transform hearts, and He calls us to love others without compromising His truth. Your jealousy and anger over his care for someone else reveal that your heart is still entangled in a situation that God never intended for you. This is why you feel so much turmoil—your emotions are at war with God’s design.
You are correct in recognizing that you have created some of your own problems by assuming his feelings and not communicating openly. Proverbs 13:12 says, *"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when longing is fulfilled, it is a tree of life."* Your silence allowed false hope to grow, and now you are experiencing the pain of unmet expectations. However, your willingness to surrender this to God is a powerful step toward healing. We encourage you to fully release this person and your feelings for him into the Lord’s hands. Psalm 55:22 says, *"Cast your burden on Yahweh, and he will sustain you. He will never allow the righteous to be moved."*
Now, let us pray together for your heart and your future:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, lifting up this dear sister who is struggling with her emotions and desires. Lord, we thank You for her honesty and her willingness to surrender her feelings to You. We ask that You would break every chain of attachment to this person who is not Your will for her life. Father, we rebuke the spirit of confusion, jealousy, and false hope that has taken root in her heart. We declare that her mind and emotions will be renewed by Your Word, and she will no longer be led by her feelings but by Your Holy Spirit.
Lord, we ask that You would heal the wounds of rejection and insecurity in her heart. Fill her with Your peace and assurance that You have a perfect plan for her life. Help her to trust in Your timing and to wait patiently for the spouse You have prepared for her—a godly man who will love her as Christ loves the church. We pray that You would remove every trace of bitterness or resentment toward this person and replace it with Your love and compassion. Give her the strength to fully let go and to walk in obedience to Your will.
Father, we also pray for this young man. We ask that You would draw him to Yourself and reveal Your truth to his heart. Soften his heart to receive Your love and to turn away from sin. Surround him with godly influences who will speak life and truth into him. Lord, we know that only You can change hearts, and we trust You to work in his life according to Your perfect will.
We declare that this sister will no longer be bound by fear or insecurity. She will walk in the confidence of who she is in Christ, knowing that she is fearfully and wonderfully made. We pray that You would open her eyes to see the purpose You have for her and that she would step boldly into the plans You have prepared. Lord, we ask that You would bring the right people into her life—those who will encourage her in her faith and hold her accountable to Your Word.
We thank You, Father, for Your faithfulness and for the victory we have in Jesus Christ. We trust that You are working all things together for her good, even in this painful season. May she find her satisfaction in You alone, and may her heart be filled with hope as she waits on You. In Jesus’ precious name, we pray. Amen.
We encourage you to immerse yourself in God’s Word and to seek fellowship with other believers who can support and pray for you. Surround yourself with people who will remind you of God’s truth and encourage you to walk in purity and obedience. Remember, healing is a process, and the Lord is faithful to complete the work He has begun in you. Philippians 1:6 says, *"Being confident of this very thing, that he who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ."*
You are not alone in this journey. The Lord sees your tears, and He is close to the brokenhearted. Psalm 34:18 assures us, *"Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit."* Keep seeking Him, and He will lead you to the abundant life He has promised. Trust that He has someone far better for you—a spouse who will love and cherish you in a way that honors God. Until then, focus on deepening your relationship with Christ and fulfilling the purpose He has for you in this season.
