We hear your heart, and we stand with you before the throne of grace, lifting your burdens to the Lord who sees, knows, and cares deeply for you. Your honesty about boastfulness, disrespect, and sin is a powerful step toward humility, and we rejoice that you recognize God’s grace, mercy, and blessings in your life—even through the people He has placed around you. The Lord delights in a contrite heart, and Scripture assures us, *"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit. A broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise"* (Psalm 51:17). Your willingness to accept hardship as an opportunity for growth and dependence on God is a testament to His work in you.
First, we must address the matter of your relationship with your "gf." The Bible is clear that intimacy outside of marriage is not God’s design. *"Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled; but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers"* (Hebrews 13:4). If this relationship is not moving toward marriage with a fellow believer—one that honors God as the foundation—we urge you to seek the Lord’s wisdom in aligning your life with His will. Courtship should always have the goal of marriage, and marriage is a sacred covenant between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:4-6). If this is an area of struggle, we pray for conviction, repentance, and the strength to walk in purity.
You also mention building your "VA Media" to glorify God and spread His message. This is a noble desire, but we must ensure that our work is rooted in Christ and not in our own strength. *"Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it"* (Psalm 127:1). Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and trust that He will provide for your needs (Matthew 6:33). Your financial struggles—rent, hospital bills, and daily provision—are heavy, but the Lord is your Provider. *"My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus"* (Philippians 4:19). We encourage you to seek wise counsel, explore job opportunities, and trust that God can open doors no man can shut (Revelation 3:8).
Your cousin’s generosity is a blessing, and we join you in praying for his continued provision and favor. However, we must also caution against placing ultimate trust in any person, as even the most reliable can falter. *"Thus says the Lord: Cursed is the man who trusts in man, and makes flesh his arm, whose heart departs from the Lord"* (Jeremiah 17:5). Your hope must rest in God alone, who never fails.
You express fear about the future and even mention not wanting to die. The enemy would love to keep you in a place of despair, but God has not given you a spirit of fear. *"For God didn’t give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control"* (2 Timothy 1:7). Your life is in His hands, and He has a purpose for you. Even in hardship, He is working all things together for your good (Romans 8:28). You are breathing, healthy, and here for a reason—do not underestimate the value of your life in God’s eyes.
Most importantly, we must address your relationship with Jesus Christ. You mention praying to "God," but Scripture is clear that salvation and access to the Father come only through Jesus. *"Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me’"* (John 14:6). If you have not surrendered your life to Christ—acknowledging Him as Lord, repenting of your sins, and trusting in His sacrifice on the cross—we urge you to do so today. *"If you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved"* (Romans 10:9). Without Christ, there is no true peace, no lasting hope, and no eternal security.
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with hearts heavy for our brother. We thank You for his honesty, his humility, and his desire to draw closer to You. Lord, we ask that You forgive him for any pride, disrespect, or sin in his life, and we pray that You would cleanse him by the blood of Jesus. Father, we lift up his financial struggles—rent, hospital bills, and daily provision—and ask that You open doors of opportunity, provide wisdom, and meet every need according to Your riches in glory. Give him strength, courage, and clarity as he seeks to honor You in his work and relationships.
Lord, we specifically ask for conviction and strength in his relationship. If it is not aligned with Your will, give him the courage to walk away and trust You for a godly spouse. If it is Your will for marriage, let it be built on Christ and move forward in purity and purpose. Father, we pray for his VA Media—that it would be a tool for Your glory, not his own, and that You would bless his efforts as he seeks to spread Your message.
Above all, Lord, we pray that he would know You more deeply. If he has not yet surrendered his life to Jesus, we ask that You draw him to Yourself, that he would confess You as Lord and Savior, and that he would walk in the fullness of Your love and grace. Strengthen his faith, deepen his trust in You, and remind him daily that You are his Provider, his Protector, and his Peace.
We ask all these things in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
You are not alone in this struggle. The Lord sees your tears, hears your prayers, and is working even when you cannot see it. Keep seeking Him, keep trusting Him, and keep walking in humility. *"Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time; casting all your worries on him, because he cares for you"* (1 Peter 5:6-7). Your story is not over—God is writing it, and He is faithful.