We hear the deep pain and confusion in your heart, and we want you to know that God sees your suffering and cares for you more than you can imagine. Your cry for help has not gone unnoticed by Him, and we stand with you in prayer and truth, seeking His will in this situation.
First, we must address something critical: your prayer does not mention the name of Jesus Christ, through whom we have access to the Father. The Bible is clear that there is no other name by which we can be saved or through which our prayers are heard. *"There is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus"* (1 Timothy 2:5). *"No one comes to the Father, except through me"* (John 14:6). If you have not yet surrendered your life to Jesus as your Lord and Savior, we urge you to do so now. Confess your sins, believe in His death and resurrection for your salvation, and invite Him to rule your heart. Only in Christ can you find true peace, healing, and direction.
Now, let us speak truth into your situation. What you have described reveals a relationship that is not aligned with biblical principles. The man you are with exhibits behaviors that are self-centered, lustful, and lacking in the fruit of the Spirit—love, patience, kindness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). His choices, such as prioritizing a trip with single women and friends to a festival known for partying and moral compromise, are not those of a man walking in Christlikeness. The Bible warns us, *"Do not be deceived! ‘Evil company corrupts good morals’"* (1 Corinthians 15:33). His actions suggest a heart that is still entangled in the ways of the world, and his treatment of you—dismissing your feelings, manipulating your perceptions, and expecting you to accept harmful choices—is not the love that Christ commands. *"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for her"* (Ephesians 5:25). Though you are not married, this standard of sacrificial, selfless love should be the goal of any man courting a woman with the intent of marriage.
You mentioned that you have been in a cycle of breaking up and reconciling, which has left you heartbroken and exhausted. This pattern is not healthy or godly. The Bible tells us, *"Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?"* (Amos 3:3). A relationship built on instability, control, and unrepentant sin is not the foundation for a Christ-centered marriage. You deserve to be treated with the dignity and respect that comes from a man who fears the Lord. *"The fear of Yahweh is the beginning of knowledge, but the foolish despise wisdom and discipline"* (Proverbs 1:7). A man who loves God will seek to honor Him in his actions, his words, and his treatment of you.
We must also address the issue of living together outside of marriage. The Bible is clear that sexual immorality, which includes cohabitation without marriage, is sin. *"Flee sexual immorality! ‘Every sin that a man does is outside the body,’ but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body"* (1 Corinthians 6:18). *"Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed is undefiled; but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers"* (Hebrews 13:4). Even if you are not physically intimate, living together blurs the lines of godly boundaries and can lead to temptation. We urge you to seek a living situation that honors God, even if it is difficult. Trust that He will provide for your needs as you obey Him.
Your counselor has wisely pointed out that this man’s character is unlikely to change unless God performs a miracle in his heart. While we believe in the power of God to transform lives, we also know that true repentance requires a willingness to turn from sin and submit to Christ. You cannot change him—only God can. But you *can* choose to no longer subject yourself to a relationship that brings you pain, confusion, and spiritual compromise. The Bible tells us, *"Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?"* (2 Corinthians 6:14). If this man is not walking with the Lord, you cannot expect him to lead you—or a future family—in a godly way.
You have done the hard work of healing and seeking God, and now you must guard that healing. *"Above all things, guard your heart, for out of it are the issues of life"* (Proverbs 4:23). It is not wrong to desire a godly marriage, but this man is not demonstrating the qualities of a godly husband. You must ask yourself: *Is this the kind of man I want to spend my life with? Is this the example I want for my children?* The answer should be a resounding *no*. You deserve a man who will cherish you as Christ cherishes the Church, who will lead you spiritually, and who will put your needs above his own desires.
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we lift up this precious sister to You, knowing that You see her pain and hear her cries. Lord, we ask that You wrap Your arms of comfort around her and remind her that she is deeply loved by You. Father, we pray that You would give her the strength to walk away from this relationship, which is causing her so much heartache and is not aligned with Your Word. Lord, open her eyes to see herself as You see her—a daughter of the King, worthy of love, respect, and honor.
We pray for this man, that You would convict his heart of his sin and draw him to repentance. Soften his heart, Lord, and reveal to him the emptiness of the path he is on. If it is Your will, bring him to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, that he may turn from his selfish ways and walk in Your truth. But Father, we also ask that You protect our sister from further harm. Give her the wisdom to set boundaries that honor You, and the courage to walk away if he does not repent.
Lord, we pray that You would restore her heart and her hope. Surround her with godly counsel and support, and provide for her needs as she seeks to honor You in every area of her life. Help her to trust in You completely, knowing that You are her Provider, her Protector, and her Healer. Father, if it is Your will, bring a godly man into her life—one who loves You with all his heart and will love her as Christ loves the Church. But until then, Lord, satisfy her with Your presence and fill her with Your peace.
We rebuked the enemy’s lies that have taken root in her mind—the lies that she is irrational, that she must accept mistreatment, or that this man is her only hope for love. Father, break those chains and replace them with Your truth. Remind her that she is fearfully and wonderfully made, and that You have a plan for her life that is good and full of hope.
We ask all these things in the mighty and precious name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
Finally, we encourage you to take these steps:
1. **Separate yourself from this relationship.** Continue the separation and do not return to it. The pattern of breaking up and reconciling is unhealthy and will only bring more pain. *"The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray"* (Proverbs 12:26).
2. **Seek godly counsel.** Continue working with your spiritual counselor and surround yourself with believers who will speak truth into your life. *"Where no counsel is, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety"* (Proverbs 11:14).
3. **Set boundaries.** Do not allow yourself to be treated poorly. If he is unwilling to change, you must protect your heart. *"A man who flatters his neighbor spreads a net for his feet"* (Proverbs 29:5).
4. **Trust God’s plan.** He has not forgotten you. *"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares Yahweh, “plans for peace and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope"* (Jeremiah 29:11).
5. **Focus on your relationship with Christ.** Let this season be one of drawing closer to Him. *"Delight yourself in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart"* (Psalm 37:4).
You are not alone in this. We are standing with you, and more importantly, God is with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6). Trust Him to lead you into a future that is full of His peace and joy.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
