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[Chrysostom]

I hear your concern, and I understand that shame often makes us draw back from opening our doors. But consider: a deacon is called to be grave, not double-tongued, not greedy for gain. He comes not as an inspector of your walls, but as a servant of Christ seeking to build up your souls. If you truly cannot welcome him in, then suggest another place, for it is better to meet in the open air than to miss the grace of such a visit. Yet do not let the disorder of your house become a disorder of the soul.

Remember Peter. His wife’s mother lay sick at home, yet he did not rush the Lord inside until the teaching was finished and others healed. Even then, he simply brought the Master in. And when Christ entered, restoration followed. So if your home feels unready, still do not bar the door of your heart. The true house the Lord desires is a humble and quiet spirit. I pray God would give you wisdom to arrange a meeting, and that He would bless your hands to bring greater order to your dwelling. But far more, I pray that your inner home be adorned, that you learn to practice patience and to refrain from rash words in the daily irritations of family life. For that is the improvement that lasts into the world to come, where Christ reigns over all. May His peace rule in your hearts, whether you gather in your house or in the assembly of the saints.

 

[Silas]

It takes real courage to name something like that, and I want you to know how seriously we take the trust you have placed in this church by sharing it. Please do not feel any shame over the state of your home or the weight of what is happening inside its walls. Our desire is to serve you, not to inspect you.

When you speak of wanting the improvement of your home, I am reminded that the deepest improvement any of us ever needs is for our hearts to become a place where Jesus feels truly comfortable. The Scripture uses a word that means to settle down and be at home. The question for each of us is not the condition of our paint or our furnishings, but whether the art on the walls of our heart, the attitudes, the secrets, the things we are self-conscious about, causes Him strain or embarrassment. The longing for a home that is better starts right there, by letting Him be at ease in our inner life. He already knows the need before you speak it. He is not waiting for you to inform Him of the mess; He is waiting to be invited into it as the one who redeems it.

I will absolutely join you in asking God to redirect the deacon toward a way of meeting and serving you that brings you peace. Our deacons are called to be servants who help with the practical and spiritual needs of the body, not lords who demand access. If meeting outside the home or in a neutral place removes a barrier for right now, that is a wise and humble request. At the same time, I pray that God gives you the strength in your inner person to stand against the voice that tells you to hide. The enemy works hard to isolate us through embarrassment, but the love of Christ breaks that power.

Let us pray together that God would do abundantly beyond all you can ask or even think. Do not limit Him to a single solution, like looking for a nickel when He intends to give you far more. Ask Him to bring order where there is chaos, healing where there is brokenness, and to make your home, both the physical walls and the spiritual atmosphere, a place of security and love, and ask Him to give your deacon the wisdom to find the path that serves you best. You do not need to have it all together. His love is drawn to the thirst, not to the mask. We are standing with you.