Marriage

How The Loss Of A Loved One Affects A Marriage

With David Mathews



My wife and I founded Spark Of Life, a grief recovery ministry. We work with thousands of people devastated by loss. We work with many couples who experienced the devastating loss of a child and we work with couples where one spouse lost someone in their family. And what we discovered in working with thousands of couples who are grieving is experiencing a loss of a loved one together affects a marriage...

 

3 Ways To End An Affair



If you’re currently in an affair, or if you know somebody who is, these three things will be extremely important to you.



If you are in an affair and deeply, emotionally connected to the other person, these three things still work if you do them.

You might be thinking, “I’m not sure I want out of the affair.” If you’re trying to make that decision, we can help. Get specific help on deciding to end an affair with the Affair Toolkit...

 

The TRUTH About “No Contact”



So, you stopped contacting your spouse. And now you’re trying this thing called “No Contact” to try and get your spouse back. You’re trying it to get them to see what they’re missing. You hope that they’ll want you back and that they will come crawling back to you… Or at least, that’s what you’ve heard.

You’re spending so much time trying to understand “No Contact.” “What are they thinking right now?” Or, “How do I know that No Contact is...

 

Kimberly Holmes: When you have a spouse that’s cheating, it can be completely overwhelming because you don’t even know where to start. The questions to ask. Your heart is hurting. You’re scared. There are so many emotions that go into that.



Kimberly Holmes: Two of the main questions that we hear at Marriage Helper when people find out their spouse is in an affair, is they want to know why it’s happening and they want to know how they can stop it.



“When people...

 

Where do we get our notions of what sex is like? One place is screen sex—movies, TV, videos that show couples engaged in hot and heavy lovemaking.

But screen sex is pretend sex. It involves special lighting, camera angles, makeup and wardrobe, choreography, and acting. If we get the idea that sex is like what we see on a screen, we can feel like we’re missing out or that something is wrong with us when sex doesn’t happen that way.


If we get the idea that sex is like what we see on a...

 

Last week, Julie Sibert of Intimacy in Marriage posted on 3 Must Haves to Make Your Bedroom a Sex Haven. The post was inspired by a text conversation Chris Taylor (of The Forgiven Wife) and I had with Julie on blogging ideas. Within her great post, she then challenged Chris and me to write about our own must-haves for the bedroom.

Well, Julie, I take your three, raise you one, and present my list of four must-haves to make the marriage bedroom a den of delight...

 

I’ve had a lot of feedback lately from spouses resentful about the lack of sex in their marriage. At times, it’s pushback about my lack of sympathy or understanding for their heartache.

Truth is, I don’t know what it’s like to walk in your shoes.

However, I do know that ongoing rejection hurts. It stinks, and it’s wrong.

Still, I will not validate...

 

I’ve been hearing more and more from spouses refused sex for a long time in their marriage. They are understandably disheartened and frustrated, but some are also angry.

Not just angry with their spouses, but angry with me and other Christians for letting their spouse off the hook. What they seem to want is the full force of Christendom, or at least a fair number of...

 

My best friend in 7th grade had a brother with muscular dystrophy. He was confined to a wheelchair, got moved in and out of the bathtub and bed by his father, and had a pretty girlfriend. At first, I wondered why a teen girl would want to carry her boyfriend’s books while he wheeled his way to class. Obviously, I was the shallow one. Once I got to know him, I realized he...

 

Actually, I do convey to lower interest spouses that they should have sex with their higher interest mates. I wholeheartedly believe that sex is good for a marriage, a gift from God that expresses and fosters intimacy.

But I have received numerous messages over the years—primarily from men but not entirely—complaining that Christian bloggers, authors...