I WANT SO TO BELIEVE GOD IS REALLY ON MY SIDE AND THAT I HAVE NO DONE SOMETHING TO UPSET HIM. I HAVE BEEN ON THIS ROAD FOR SEVERAL YEARS AND HAVE BEEN IN WHAT I HAVE FELT WAS MY CALLING OF GOD TO BE A NUSRE. NOT MUCH JOY ON THIS ROAD AS I FEEL I TAKE A BEATING SO MUCH. I ASK GOD FOR HELP BUT...