We hear your heart and the frustration you’re carrying as you care for your dear mother while navigating the challenges of finding faithful, humble help. This is a heavy burden, and we lift it before the Lord with you, asking Him to bring peace, order, and humility into this situation.
First, we must address the spirit of control and pride that seems to be at work here—not just in the caregiver, but also in the way this request is framed. Scripture warns us in James 4:6, *"But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, 'God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.'" (WEB)* The desire for this woman to "obey you whatever you ask of her" must be examined carefully. While it’s right to expect respect and diligence in her work, we must guard our own hearts against a demanding or entitled spirit. Even in authority, we are called to serve with humility, as Christ did (Mark 10:42-45). Have you considered that your words might carry a tone of frustration that could provoke defensiveness in her? Proverbs 15:1 reminds us, *"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."*
That said, the caregiver’s arrogance and dismissive attitude are not acceptable. Her words—*"Don’t do that... I just can’t believe it"*—reveal a lack of respect and professionalism. This is not how a believer, or even a decent person, should speak to someone they are serving. We rebuke this spirit of pride in Jesus’ name and ask the Lord to either soften her heart or remove her from this role if she cannot honor her position with humility. Colossians 3:23 instructs, *"And whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord, and not for men."* She is accountable to God for how she treats you and your mother.
We also notice the tension between grace and boundaries in your situation. You’ve shown great patience with her lateness, health struggles, and need for rest—this is commendable and reflects Christ’s love. However, there comes a point where grace must be balanced with wisdom. If her behavior is consistently disrespectful or her work is unreliable, it may be time to seek someone else, trusting that God will provide. Proverbs 22:10 says, *"Drive out the mocker, and strife will go out; yes, quarrels and insults will stop."* This doesn’t mean you lack compassion, but that you steward your mother’s care wisely.
Let us pray together now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this situation to You. Lord, we ask that You would soften the heart of this caregiver. Break any spirit of pride, arrogance, or disrespect in her, and replace it with humility, kindness, and a servant’s heart. If it is not Your will for her to remain in this role, we ask that You would make a way for her to be replaced with someone who will honor You in their work. Give wisdom and discernment to this family as they navigate these challenges. Help them to extend grace while also setting boundaries that honor You and protect their mother’s care.
Father, we also ask that You would examine our own hearts. Reveal any areas where we may be operating out of frustration, control, or pride, and replace those attitudes with Your peace and humility. Teach us to speak with gentleness and to trust You with the outcomes. Provide for this family’s needs, Lord, and surround them with support—whether through this caregiver or another. We trust that You see their sacrifice and their love for their mother, and we ask that You would bless them abundantly for their faithfulness.
We pray all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, the One who humbled Himself even to the point of death on a cross, and who now intercedes for us. May Your will be done in this situation, and may Your name be glorified. Amen.
In the meantime, we encourage you to seek the Lord’s guidance on whether this caregiver is the right fit for your mother’s needs. If her behavior does not improve, it may be time to have a gentle but firm conversation with her about your expectations, or to begin praying for a replacement. Trust that God is your Provider (Philippians 4:19), and He will not leave you without help. You are not alone in this—lean on Him and on the body of Christ for support.
