What would God want me to do

[Dwloriordale]

Hello, I have been going through a very hard process these past 6 months. I have talked to pastors and my fellow church members, but I can't seem to find an answer. I have prayed for months for an answer, but I don't know if I am too broken to understand. My husband is in active addiction; he abandoned me and the kids 6 months ago. He left me with all the financial burden. I lost our home and our car. I was homeless with the kids for 2 months. He didn't care. I asked him for help; he didn't help. He told me he wanted nothing to do with me. He didn't file for divorce; I had to file for divorce. The process is stalled right now. He is living life with no regret. He lives with his family, and all he tells me is to keep contact with him only about the kids. Unfortunately, because he had CPS involved, I am not allowed to leave the kids with him because he is still in addiction, even though he denies it. But he is treating me like if he hated me. We were married for 5 years, but together for 10 years. I'm not sure what's going on. He doesn't talk to me. I've been on my own with the kids for 6 months, struggling. I prayed for my husband and prayed for our marriage to get fixed. He is seeing other women. I just don't understand what I have to do: continue praying for him to restore us or just let go. I'm not sure what else to do when he treats me so badly and tells me to move on, and I'm doing right by keeping the kids away? CPS warned me if I let them go with him and he is still using, I can lose them. I just don't know anymore. Please help me.

 

[Articles]

We hear your heartache and the weight of the burden you’ve been carrying, and we stand with you in prayer, lifting your pain before the Lord. The betrayal, abandonment, and financial strain you’ve endured are not what God intended for marriage, and your faithfulness to protect your children—even when it means making painful decisions—reflects a mother’s love that honors Him. The Bible tells us in Psalm 34:18, *"The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit."* You are not too broken for God to speak to you; He sees your tears and collects them in His bottle (Psalm 56:8). The silence you’ve felt in prayer may not mean He isn’t answering, but that He is working in ways you cannot yet see.

First, we must address the reality of your husband’s choices. His addiction, infidelity, and abandonment are clear violations of the covenant of marriage, which God designed to reflect Christ’s love for the Church—a love that is sacrificial, faithful, and selfless (Ephesians 5:25-33). His actions have not only broken your trust but have grieved the heart of God. While we are called to forgive as Christ forgave us (Colossians 3:13), forgiveness does not mean enabling sin or subjecting yourself and your children to harm. You have shown tremendous wisdom and courage by involving CPS to protect your children, and you must continue to prioritize their safety above all else. Proverbs 22:6 reminds us to *"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."* Your obedience in this is a powerful testimony to your children of what it means to walk in godliness, even in the face of ungodliness.

The question of whether to continue praying for restoration or to let go is a heavy one, and we must seek God’s will with humility. Scripture is clear that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), but it also acknowledges that divorce is permissible in cases of sexual immorality (Matthew 19:9) and, by extension, abandonment (1 Corinthians 7:15). Your husband’s actions—his addiction, infidelity, and refusal to provide or reconcile—have already broken the marriage covenant in ways that align with these biblical exceptions. While we should always pray for repentance and restoration, we cannot ignore the reality that your husband has chosen his sin over his family. His demand that you "move on" while he lives in unrepentance is not a godly directive; it is a reflection of his hardened heart. Proverbs 28:13 warns, *"He who conceals his sins doesn’t prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy."* Until he acknowledges his sin and seeks true repentance, there can be no reconciliation.

We must also address the pain of his infidelity. The Bible calls adultery a sin that defiles the marriage bed (Hebrews 13:4), and it is not something to be taken lightly. Your husband’s actions have not only broken your trust but have dishonored God. While we are called to pray for those who hurt us, we are not called to remain in a relationship where sin is unrepentant and ongoing. Jesus Himself said in Matthew 18:15-17 that if a brother refuses to repent after being confronted, we are to treat him as an unbeliever. This does not mean we stop loving him, but it does mean we recognize that the relationship cannot be restored until he turns from his sin. Your prayers for his salvation and repentance are powerful, but they cannot replace his own choice to surrender to God.

As you navigate this season, we encourage you to focus on three things: your walk with God, your children, and your own healing. First, draw near to the Lord. Psalm 73:26 says, *"My flesh and my heart fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."* You have been carrying this burden alone for too long, and it is time to let God be your refuge. Spend time in His Word, worship Him in the midst of your pain, and allow His peace to guard your heart (Philippians 4:6-7). Second, pour your energy into raising your children in the fear and admonition of the Lord. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 instructs us to *"keep these words, which I command you today, in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up."* Your children need to see Jesus in you, especially now. Finally, seek godly counsel and community. You mentioned talking to pastors and church members, but if they have not provided the support you need, do not hesitate to seek out a biblical counselor or a support group for families affected by addiction. Proverbs 11:14 says, *"Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety."*

We must also gently address the legal aspect of your situation. The divorce process being stalled is not a sign that God wants you to remain in limbo. While we should always seek reconciliation when possible, we must also recognize that God has given us governing authorities (Romans 13:1) to establish order and justice. If your husband is unwilling to fulfill his responsibilities, the legal system may be the tool God uses to bring about a resolution that protects you and your children. Do not see this as a failure on your part, but as a step toward the freedom and stability God desires for you.

Now, let us pray together:

Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this precious sister who has endured so much pain and betrayal. Lord, You see every tear she has cried, every sleepless night she has spent, and every burden she has carried alone. We ask that You would draw near to her, Father, and let her feel Your presence in a tangible way. Remind her that she is not forgotten, that You are her ever-present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1). We pray for her husband, Lord. We ask that You would break the chains of addiction in his life and soften his heart to repentance. Convict him of his sin, Father, and lead him to true repentance and restoration—not just for the sake of his marriage, but for the sake of his soul. If it is Your will for this marriage to be restored, we ask that You would work a miracle in his heart. But if he remains unrepentant, Lord, we ask that You would grant this sister the wisdom and strength to walk in the freedom and peace You have for her.

Father, we pray for her children. Protect their hearts from the pain of this broken family, and let them see Your love and faithfulness through their mother. Give her the strength to raise them in Your ways, and provide for all their needs—emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Lord, we ask that You would open doors of provision for her. You are Jehovah Jireh, the God who provides ( Genesis 22:14), and we trust that You will meet every need according to Your riches in glory (Philippians 4:19). Heal her heart from the rejection and betrayal she has experienced, and replace her pain with Your peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7).

Father, we also pray for justice in the legal process. If it is Your will for this divorce to be finalized, we ask that You would remove every obstacle and grant her favor with the courts. Give her the courage to stand firm in her decisions, knowing that she is honoring You by protecting her children and herself from further harm. Lord, we ask that You would surround her with godly community—people who will encourage her, pray for her, and walk alongside her in this season. Let her know that she is not alone, and that You are her strength.

Finally, Lord, we ask that You would use this pain for Your glory. Let her testimony be a light to others who are walking through similar valleys. Use her story to bring hope to the hopeless and to draw others to You. We pray all of this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the name above all names, the One who heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3). Amen.

In the days ahead, remember that God is not done with your story. Jeremiah 29:11 assures us that He has plans for us—plans for welfare, not for evil, to give us a future and a hope. You may not see the full picture now, but trust that God is weaving every thread of your pain into a tapestry of redemption. Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and finisher of your faith (Hebrews 12:2), and know that we are standing with you in prayer. You are not alone.

 

[hostadmin]

Dear friend, we're here with you, holding your hand through this storm. We know the weight of your heartache, the burden of your struggle. We're not here to offer quick fixes or easy answers, but to walk alongside you, to pray with you, and to remind you that you're not alone.

First, let's acknowledge the pain you're feeling. It's real, it's valid, and it's okay to feel it. God sees your tears, He hears your cries. He is near to the brokenhearted, and He saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). Your husband's actions have caused you immense pain, and it's okay to hurt. It's okay to be angry, to feel betrayed, to struggle with questions of why.

But amidst this pain, we also see your strength. You've been a beacon of resilience, protecting your children, making tough decisions, and fighting for their safety. You've been a warrior mom, and God sees your courage. You've been faithful, even when it's been hard to see the fruits of that faithfulness.

Now, let's talk about what's next. We know you're struggling with whether to keep praying for restoration or to let go. We believe that God wants what's best for you and your children, and that might look different than what you've been hoping for. We encourage you to seek God's will in this, to be open to His leading, even if it's not the path you'd choose for yourself.

Remember, God is not a God of confusion, but of peace (1 Corinthians 14:33). He will make His will clear to you, but it might take time. In the meantime, focus on what you can control. Focus on your walk with God, on your children, and on your own healing.

Draw near to the Lord. Spend time in His Word, worship Him, and let His peace guard your heart (Philippians 4:6-7). Pour your energy into raising your children in the fear and admonition of the Lord. And seek godly counsel and community. You don't have to do this alone.

We're praying for you, dear friend. We're praying for your healing, for your children's well-being, for your husband's repentance, and for God's justice in the legal process. We're praying that God would use this pain for His glory, that your story would bring hope to others.

And remember, God is not done with your story. He has plans for you, plans to give you a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11). Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and finisher of your faith (Hebrews 12:2). You are not alone. We're in this with you, every step of the way.

In Jesus' Name, we pray. Amen.

 

[Emborsuliesh]

Hello, I have been going through a very hard process these past 6 months. I have talked to pastors and my fellow church members, but I can't seem to find an answer. I have prayed for months for an answer, but I don't know if I am too broken to understand. My husband is in active addiction; he abandoned me and the kids 6 months ago. He left me with all the financial burden. I lost our home and our car. I was homeless with the kids for 2 months. He didn't care. I asked him for help; he didn't help. He told me he wanted nothing to do with me. He didn't file for divorce; I had to file for divorce. The process is stalled right now. He is living life with no regret. He lives with his family, and all he tells me is to keep contact with him only about the kids. Unfortunately, because he had CPS involved, I am not allowed to leave the kids with him because he is still in addiction, even though he denies it. But he is treating me like if he hated me. We were married for 5 years, but together for 10 years. I'm not sure what's going on. He doesn't talk to me. I've been on my own with the kids for 6 months, struggling. I prayed for my husband and prayed for our marriage to get fixed. He is seeing other women. I just don't understand what I have to do: continue praying for him to restore us or just let go. I'm not sure what else to do when he treats me so badly and tells me to move on, and I'm doing right by keeping the kids away? CPS warned me if I let them go with him and he is still using, I can lose them. I just don't know anymore. Please help me.

I pray that you surrender all of this to God and for God to bless you with clarity and discernment. You know what is best for your kids. They are the priority. Let it go so that God can work miracles on your behalf. Peace and blessings be upon you and your kids. And so it is. Amen

 

[Inlove2626]

Hello, I have been going through a very hard process these past 6 months. I have talked to pastors and my fellow church members, but I can't seem to find an answer. I have prayed for months for an answer, but I don't know if I am too broken to understand. My husband is in active addiction; he abandoned me and the kids 6 months ago. He left me with all the financial burden. I lost our home and our car. I was homeless with the kids for 2 months. He didn't care. I asked him for help; he didn't help. He told me he wanted nothing to do with me. He didn't file for divorce; I had to file for divorce. The process is stalled right now. He is living life with no regret. He lives with his family, and all he tells me is to keep contact with him only about the kids. Unfortunately, because he had CPS involved, I am not allowed to leave the kids with him because he is still in addiction, even though he denies it. But he is treating me like if he hated me. We were married for 5 years, but together for 10 years. I'm not sure what's going on. He doesn't talk to me. I've been on my own with the kids for 6 months, struggling. I prayed for my husband and prayed for our marriage to get fixed. He is seeing other women. I just don't understand what I have to do: continue praying for him to restore us or just let go. I'm not sure what else to do when he treats me so badly and tells me to move on, and I'm doing right by keeping the kids away? CPS warned me if I let them go with him and he is still using, I can lose them. I just don't know anymore. Please help me.

Do not let him see the kids if CPS is threatening you. Praying to God is the right course of action. And audio Bible sessions daily is also good. And also we have heard your prayer and have compassion on you through this very hard time going through this unexpected divorce with someone you still love and care about. May Lord Yeshua and your Father certainly have compassion on you as you continue to reach out to Him and pray. May the Lord be there for everyone in need. Thank you God for saving the whole world. His plan. He is saving the whole world and working out a better plan for us and for everyone suffering. I think. Thank you God for considering my request for forgiveness because the way I've talked to you and my venting and how I speak and my speech and how I've gone against your will for celibacy instead of loving it and embracing your will for me. It's not forever. It's just abstinence before marriage with sobriety is perfect. Perfect for my faith. Thank you Lord Yeshua and heavenly Father for forgiving me my attitudes against you and let me pray and repent myself on it and reflect on it more. Amen.