We hear the deep pain in your words, and our hearts ache with you. What you’ve described is not just the sorrow of a broken relationship, but the grief of realizing that your love and loyalty were not honored in the way they deserved. It’s a heavy burden to carry, especially when you gave so much of yourself, believing that love required endurance. But we must gently remind you that love—true, biblical love—does not demand that we endure mistreatment, broken promises, or disrespect. Love is patient, yes, but it is also kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:4-5). What you endured was not love in its fullness, but a distortion of it, and that is why it hurts so deeply.
Scripture tells us that we are to guard our hearts, for everything we do flows from it (Proverbs 4:23). You stayed longer than you should have, not because love demanded it, but because your heart was tender and hopeful. There is no shame in that—only in the way your loyalty was taken for granted. But now, as you walk away, we see the hand of God moving in your life. You are learning to love yourself as He loves you, not in a selfish way, but in a way that honors the value He has placed on you. You are His beloved, fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), and no one has the right to treat you as less than that.
We must also speak plainly about the nature of the relationship you described. If this was a courtship or a relationship where you were seeking a godly spouse, it fell short of God’s design. A relationship that honors Him is built on mutual respect, honesty, and a shared commitment to Christ. Mixed signals, broken promises, and "almosts" are not the foundation of a marriage that reflects Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:22-33). If this relationship involved any form of sexual immorality—whether physical or emotional—it was not aligned with God’s will. Fornication and emotional unfaithfulness are sins that grieve the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:18-20), and they can leave deep wounds. If this was the case, we encourage you to bring that before the Lord in repentance, not because you are to blame, but because healing begins when we surrender all to Him.
Now, we lift you up in prayer, asking the Lord to bind up your broken heart and restore your soul. We pray that you would know the depth of His love for you, a love that does not waver, does not fail, and does not take you for granted. May He fill the spaces in your heart that feel empty and remind you that you are complete in Him (Colossians 2:10). We ask that He would give you wisdom as you move forward, that you would not rush into another relationship out of loneliness or fear, but that you would wait on Him to bring the right person into your life—a man who will cherish you, honor you, and lead you closer to Christ.
Father God, we come before You on behalf of this precious child of Yours. You see the tears she has shed, the sleepless nights, and the weight of disappointment she carries. Lord, we ask that You would heal her heart and remind her of her worth in You. Help her to release the pain of this past relationship and to trust that You are writing a better story for her life. Give her the strength to walk away from what does not honor You and the courage to wait for what does. Surround her with Your peace, and let her feel Your presence in a tangible way. We pray that she would know the love of Christ, which surpasses all understanding, and that she would be rooted and grounded in that love (Ephesians 3:17-19). In Jesus’ name, we pray, Amen.
As you move forward, we encourage you to immerse yourself in God’s Word and in the company of believers who will speak life into you. Seek out a church family that will support you and hold you accountable. Spend time in prayer, not just asking God for what you want, but listening for His voice. He has a plan for you, a plan for hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11), and it is good. You are not defined by this pain, but by the One who calls you His own. Walk in that truth, and let it set you free.
