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You might say your marriage is “fine.” But what if “fine” is masking deep dissatisfaction? In a recent Barna Research Group study commissioned by Marriage Helper, over 1,500 U.S. adults shared insights about their marriages—and the findings may surprise you.
Read the full Barna study here.
This blog post breaks down what the data really says about marital satisfaction among Christians, why “somewhat satisfied” might not be good enough, and what you can do if you’re feeling stuck in a so-so marriage.
Barna surveyed a nationally representative group of adults in 2021 to explore two things:
The study broke respondents into three categories:
Across the board, practicing Christians reported the highest levels of marital satisfaction. But the most eye-opening takeaway? A large portion of those surveyed chose “somewhat satisfied.”
At Marriage Helper, we hear from couples every day who say, “We thought we were doing fine… until we weren’t.”
Dr. ### puts it this way: “The danger with being ‘somewhat satisfied’ is that it may be masking frustration or disengagement you don’t even realize is there.”
In other words, “somewhat satisfied” often means one or both spouses are settling. They aren’t fulfilled, but things aren’t so bad they feel urgent. That false sense of stability can delay getting help until it’s too late.
In fact, Dr. ### has taught thousands of people to use a marital satisfaction survey (originally developed at Kansas State) that shows how even moderate scores indicate a marriage in distress. You could be scoring 16 or 17 out of 21—and still be at serious risk.
Practicing Christians showed higher marriage satisfaction than any other group in the Barna study. But why?
Part of it may be genuine. Shared beliefs, prayer together, and value alignment can strengthen emotional and spiritual intimacy.
But there’s also a caution: some respondents may report higher satisfaction because they believe they should be satisfied. There’s a risk of reporting what you wish were true.
### put it this way: “There’s a difference between a couple who says ‘we’re satisfied’ because it’s always been easy… and the couple who says it after surviving crisis. That second one? You can trust their answer.”
Across generations, men reported higher levels of satisfaction than women.
But why? Dr. ### suggests it’s not because men are more content—it’s often because they’re more unaware.
Too many men define marriage success by what they don’t do: “I don’t cheat, I don’t yell, I don’t drink too much.” But not doing bad things isn’t the same as doing the right things.
Men, if your wife has said she’s unhappy, believe her. Don’t discount it. Being passive or dismissive because you “don’t see a problem” could be a sign you’re blind to real hurt.
Surprisingly, Gen X (ages 37–55) reported the lowest satisfaction in their marriages.
It might be because many Gen Xers are in the thick of raising teens, juggling careers, and experiencing emotional burnout. This season of life is high-stress and often under-supported.
But no matter your generation, if your marriage feels disconnected, don’t assume it will fix itself with time. Hope requires action.
Here’s one of the most sobering takeaways: 8.5 out of 10 married adults said they hadn’t considered getting help in the past 12 months—even if they were frustrated in their relationship.
Why? Barna found that churched adults were less likely to seek help than unchurched ones.
That might be due to stigma, bad counseling experiences, or simply not knowing where to turn. But waiting too long is risky. According to Dr. John Gottman, the average couple waits 7 years of being unhappy before seeking help.
That’s too long.
If your marriage feels off—even if you’re just “somewhat satisfied”—you don’t have to stay stuck. There are real tools and support systems that can help you build connection, trust, and a future together.
Marriage Helper has worked with thousands of couples, including those who thought all hope was lost. Whether you’re trying to reconnect, rebuild after an affair, or just get on the same page again, you’re not alone.
You don’t have to figure this out on your own. If you want to evaluate the health of your marriage and explore practical next steps, we invite you to schedule a free Marriage Strategy Call with one of our team members. We’ll listen to your story and help guide you forward.
Click here to book your free call now.
Because “somewhat satisfied” isn’t the goal. A deeply connected, loving marriage is possible—and we want to help you get there.
The post What Christian Couples Told Barna About Marital Satisfaction (And Why It Matters for You) appeared first on Marriage Helper.
Continue reading...
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Is Your Marriage Truly Healthy, or Just “Okay”?
You might say your marriage is “fine.” But what if “fine” is masking deep dissatisfaction? In a recent Barna Research Group study commissioned by Marriage Helper, over 1,500 U.S. adults shared insights about their marriages—and the findings may surprise you.
Read the full Barna study here.
This blog post breaks down what the data really says about marital satisfaction among Christians, why “somewhat satisfied” might not be good enough, and what you can do if you’re feeling stuck in a so-so marriage.
Key Findings from the Study
Barna surveyed a nationally representative group of adults in 2021 to explore two things:
- How satisfied people are in their marriages
- Whether they’ve considered getting professional help
The study broke respondents into three categories:
- Practicing Christians (attend church monthly + say faith is very important)
- Non-practicing Christians (identify as Christian but don’t attend regularly)
- Non-Christians
Across the board, practicing Christians reported the highest levels of marital satisfaction. But the most eye-opening takeaway? A large portion of those surveyed chose “somewhat satisfied.”
“Somewhat Satisfied” Can Be Dangerous
At Marriage Helper, we hear from couples every day who say, “We thought we were doing fine… until we weren’t.”
Dr. ### puts it this way: “The danger with being ‘somewhat satisfied’ is that it may be masking frustration or disengagement you don’t even realize is there.”
In other words, “somewhat satisfied” often means one or both spouses are settling. They aren’t fulfilled, but things aren’t so bad they feel urgent. That false sense of stability can delay getting help until it’s too late.
In fact, Dr. ### has taught thousands of people to use a marital satisfaction survey (originally developed at Kansas State) that shows how even moderate scores indicate a marriage in distress. You could be scoring 16 or 17 out of 21—and still be at serious risk.
Why Christian Marriages Tend to Rank Higher (But Not Always for the Right Reasons)
Practicing Christians showed higher marriage satisfaction than any other group in the Barna study. But why?
Part of it may be genuine. Shared beliefs, prayer together, and value alignment can strengthen emotional and spiritual intimacy.
But there’s also a caution: some respondents may report higher satisfaction because they believe they should be satisfied. There’s a risk of reporting what you wish were true.
### put it this way: “There’s a difference between a couple who says ‘we’re satisfied’ because it’s always been easy… and the couple who says it after surviving crisis. That second one? You can trust their answer.”
Men Are More Likely to Say They’re Satisfied
Across generations, men reported higher levels of satisfaction than women.
But why? Dr. ### suggests it’s not because men are more content—it’s often because they’re more unaware.
Too many men define marriage success by what they don’t do: “I don’t cheat, I don’t yell, I don’t drink too much.” But not doing bad things isn’t the same as doing the right things.
Men, if your wife has said she’s unhappy, believe her. Don’t discount it. Being passive or dismissive because you “don’t see a problem” could be a sign you’re blind to real hurt.
Gen X Is the Most Dissatisfied Generation
Surprisingly, Gen X (ages 37–55) reported the lowest satisfaction in their marriages.
It might be because many Gen Xers are in the thick of raising teens, juggling careers, and experiencing emotional burnout. This season of life is high-stress and often under-supported.
But no matter your generation, if your marriage feels disconnected, don’t assume it will fix itself with time. Hope requires action.
Why Most Couples Never Get Help
Here’s one of the most sobering takeaways: 8.5 out of 10 married adults said they hadn’t considered getting help in the past 12 months—even if they were frustrated in their relationship.
Why? Barna found that churched adults were less likely to seek help than unchurched ones.
That might be due to stigma, bad counseling experiences, or simply not knowing where to turn. But waiting too long is risky. According to Dr. John Gottman, the average couple waits 7 years of being unhappy before seeking help.
That’s too long.
There Is a Better Way Forward
If your marriage feels off—even if you’re just “somewhat satisfied”—you don’t have to stay stuck. There are real tools and support systems that can help you build connection, trust, and a future together.
Marriage Helper has worked with thousands of couples, including those who thought all hope was lost. Whether you’re trying to reconnect, rebuild after an affair, or just get on the same page again, you’re not alone.
Take the Next Step
You don’t have to figure this out on your own. If you want to evaluate the health of your marriage and explore practical next steps, we invite you to schedule a free Marriage Strategy Call with one of our team members. We’ll listen to your story and help guide you forward.
Click here to book your free call now.
Because “somewhat satisfied” isn’t the goal. A deeply connected, loving marriage is possible—and we want to help you get there.
The post What Christian Couples Told Barna About Marital Satisfaction (And Why It Matters for You) appeared first on Marriage Helper.
Continue reading...
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