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<blockquote data-quote="Anthonette" data-source="post: 28476951" data-attributes="member: 22162"><p>Good morning all. As I read everyone’s comments I feel your pain and I feel you anger and anguish. This is new for me because I never felt these things for anyone before. (God is good). I even feel empathy for the woman that is about to have a child for my H in a few weeks. One thing that keeps coming to me and we all make this mistake some more than others (me to) we are too focused on the pain, what they are doing in the far country etc.</p><p></p><p>We need to focus on our spouse' salvation. We need to honestly forgive and love them no matter what. We need to show and feel the love for then the same way God has shown his love for us. No conditions, no bargaining etc.</p><p></p><p>If I can feel your pain and anguish and live thousands and thousands miles away from any of you can you imagine what your spouse feels when he is so much closer. My aunty told me of course your husband isn't coming around right now you are in too much pain and he knows he is the cause he cannot face that. This was when he first left and I dint know how to get rid of the pain. How to hand it over how to replace that gut wrenching soul tearing pain from myself. But God. God told me to talk to him God told me to lay it at his feet God told me to forgive and let go and remember no more, just as he has done for me.</p><p></p><p>We are not reconciled but we do spend time together and we do smile once in a while together. Because I have forgiven my spouse totally and completely, and he knows it not by my word but by my actions. We have to love and release our husbands. No I am not talking about releasing them and giving up on our marriages but if we are clinging so tight to them then God cannot do what he needs to do.</p><p></p><p>If we are trying to fix it ourselves then God can’t show up and show you his splendor. God has promised to restore to us what the locust have stolen so let us trust him to do so. Let us trust God to be God and we do our part to love unconditionally.</p><p></p><p>That is not loving through the pain but releasing the pain. Our spouses are not going to be drawn to pain hurt, anger, and anguish. None of these emotions are attractive or endearing. They will push our spouses away. They are like large posters telling them and condemning them. Letting them and the whole world know what they did to hurt us. And we can’t fake it and say we do not show it around them. We are happy and upbeat around them. This is your one flesh, even if they are not acting like it, they know you. They know when you are faking it.</p><p></p><p>We have to honestly love and forgive and that means giving it to God, daily, hourly even by the minuet then we can approach our spouses with love. Then standing won’t hurt, then the wait won’t matter because you know it is completed. It will start to be funny what they do. Because you already know what God has promised and now you are living it completely. You will laugh again, you will smile again, and you will love again. No pain, no hurt no jealousy and no anguish and your spouse will remember you as their spouse, what drew them to you in the first place. And they will be drawn again. They will test the waters so you have to be honest with yourself, because honestly that is the only person you are fooling your one flesh already knows and so does God.</p><p></p><p>Sorry for being so long, but let’s start loving unconditionally and giving up the pain and anger and drawing on God which will in turn draw our spouse. They will want the peace we have and will want to tap into the source or at least be close enough to draw from it. Remember our spouse is sanctified through us.</p><p></p><p>Amen</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Anthonette, post: 28476951, member: 22162"] Good morning all. As I read everyone’s comments I feel your pain and I feel you anger and anguish. This is new for me because I never felt these things for anyone before. (God is good). I even feel empathy for the woman that is about to have a child for my H in a few weeks. One thing that keeps coming to me and we all make this mistake some more than others (me to) we are too focused on the pain, what they are doing in the far country etc. We need to focus on our spouse' salvation. We need to honestly forgive and love them no matter what. We need to show and feel the love for then the same way God has shown his love for us. No conditions, no bargaining etc. If I can feel your pain and anguish and live thousands and thousands miles away from any of you can you imagine what your spouse feels when he is so much closer. My aunty told me of course your husband isn't coming around right now you are in too much pain and he knows he is the cause he cannot face that. This was when he first left and I dint know how to get rid of the pain. How to hand it over how to replace that gut wrenching soul tearing pain from myself. But God. God told me to talk to him God told me to lay it at his feet God told me to forgive and let go and remember no more, just as he has done for me. We are not reconciled but we do spend time together and we do smile once in a while together. Because I have forgiven my spouse totally and completely, and he knows it not by my word but by my actions. We have to love and release our husbands. No I am not talking about releasing them and giving up on our marriages but if we are clinging so tight to them then God cannot do what he needs to do. If we are trying to fix it ourselves then God can’t show up and show you his splendor. God has promised to restore to us what the locust have stolen so let us trust him to do so. Let us trust God to be God and we do our part to love unconditionally. That is not loving through the pain but releasing the pain. Our spouses are not going to be drawn to pain hurt, anger, and anguish. None of these emotions are attractive or endearing. They will push our spouses away. They are like large posters telling them and condemning them. Letting them and the whole world know what they did to hurt us. And we can’t fake it and say we do not show it around them. We are happy and upbeat around them. This is your one flesh, even if they are not acting like it, they know you. They know when you are faking it. We have to honestly love and forgive and that means giving it to God, daily, hourly even by the minuet then we can approach our spouses with love. Then standing won’t hurt, then the wait won’t matter because you know it is completed. It will start to be funny what they do. Because you already know what God has promised and now you are living it completely. You will laugh again, you will smile again, and you will love again. No pain, no hurt no jealousy and no anguish and your spouse will remember you as their spouse, what drew them to you in the first place. And they will be drawn again. They will test the waters so you have to be honest with yourself, because honestly that is the only person you are fooling your one flesh already knows and so does God. Sorry for being so long, but let’s start loving unconditionally and giving up the pain and anger and drawing on God which will in turn draw our spouse. They will want the peace we have and will want to tap into the source or at least be close enough to draw from it. Remember our spouse is sanctified through us. Amen [/QUOTE]
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