Anonymous
Beloved of All
I keep saying I want a wife, I want a wife, but I don't know if I'm capable of loving someone. My autism makes me so robotic. Can she love me? I'd like to think I'd me someone who would love me for me and not care, but, I don't know if such love exist amoung humans. I guess I just was not ment to find love. I know Jesus' love is supposed be sufficient, but then why do I want to be married so bad. Why do I want a women to love me so bad that I pretend to be married? I have an imaginary wife, and I'm an adult and I feel like a lame loser because I don't have the real thing. I have to pretend. What's wrong with me? I pray, and pray, that God would send me a real wife, but I know it would never work, because I'm too messed up to love. I give up.