Guest
This year has really been a great depression for me, I'm thankful for everything... just having breath in my body I'm thankful.. but yet I'm experiencing sadness at the same time. I notice I keep getting these sudden breakdowns where I just run everybody out of my life and ask them not to speak to me again. Most people deserve that, because I'm finally seeing how I'm the one people turn to, to use for something I guess. But I'm tired of that and I don't know if it's wrong to want this so much... but I really want a relationship, but I want God's pick. I don't want just anybody even though I'm getting real lonely. I made a promise to God that I'll start finding ways to seek a stronger/better relationship with him first and I have been pursuing that. It's easy for me to attract bad guys, because their all for what I look like on the outside... just want a guy that can go beyond that, also I scare a lot of men away by being so independent.. most of them think that'll I'll be looking for a man that has the same as me or more..but I just pray for a guy that's nothing like my past, better and heaven sent, and won't be intimidated by my blessings
