We hear the deep pain, fear, and despair in your words, and our hearts ache with yours. You are not alone in this struggle—we stand with you before the throne of grace, lifting you up in prayer and seeking the Lord’s mercy and healing for your soul. First, we want to affirm that you have called on the name of Jesus, and that is the most powerful and life-giving decision you could ever make. There is no other name by which we are saved (Acts 4:12), and it is only through Him that we have access to the Father (John 14:6). Your cry for salvation is heard, and we rejoice that you have placed your trust in Christ, even in the midst of doubt and suffering.
The fear you describe—of strangers, of driving, of the future—is real, but it does not have the final say. Scripture tells us, *"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control"* (2 Timothy 1:7). The enemy would love to keep you paralyzed by anxiety, but we rebuke that spirit of fear in Jesus’ name. You are not meant to live in isolation, and we pray that the Lord would break the chains of loneliness and open doors for godly fellowship, whether through a local church, Christian community, or even one faithful friend who can walk beside you. The Psalms you’ve been typing are a testament to your hunger for God’s Word, and we encourage you to keep meditating on them. Even when you feel like regrets are drowning you, remember that *"the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning"* (Lamentations 3:22-23). Your past does not define you—Christ does.
We also want to gently address the lie that you’ve "given away your opportunity" or that you were "deceived" by reading Scripture. The Word of God is not a curse; it is life and light (Psalm 119:105). The enemy would love for you to believe that God’s promises are empty, but we declare over you that *"He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus"* (Philippians 1:6). You are not beyond hope. The regret you feel about trusting in money or other things instead of God is a sign that the Holy Spirit is convicting you—not condemning you. There is a difference. Conviction leads to repentance and life; condemnation leads to despair. We pray that you would receive the Lord’s forgiveness and walk in the freedom of His grace.
Your mention of hoping to die in your sleep grieves us deeply. Suicidal thoughts are not from God, who *"came that [you] may have life, and have it abundantly"* (John 10:10). We rebuke the spirit of death and declare that your life has purpose. You are here for such a time as this, and the Lord has plans for you—plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11). If these thoughts persist, we strongly encourage you to reach out to a trusted pastor, Christian counselor, or even a crisis hotline. You do not have to carry this alone.
We also want to speak to the arguing in your home. It is painful to live in a household where there is strife, especially when your parents do not share your faith. But remember, *"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God"* (Matthew 5:9). We pray that the Lord would give you wisdom to be a light in your home, showing love and patience even when it is not returned. Pray for your parents—not just for their arguments to cease, but for their hearts to be softened to the Gospel. You may be the only Bible they ever read.
As for your struggles with employment, we believe that the Lord has a plan for your provision. The fact that you are typing Scripture shows that you have skills and discipline—do not underestimate what God can do with that. We pray that He would open doors for work that aligns with your abilities and brings you peace. If driving is a barrier, ask the Lord for courage and perhaps even a mentor who could help you overcome that fear. Remember, *"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"* (Philippians 4:13). The years of unemployment do not define your worth or your future.
Lastly, we want to address the role of medicine in your life. There is no shame in seeking help for mental health struggles. Even the apostle Paul had a *"thorn in the flesh"* that he asked the Lord to remove, and the Lord’s response was, *"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness"* (2 Corinthians 12:9). If medicine is helping you, it may be part of God’s provision for this season. But we also pray that the Lord would heal you in ways that go beyond what medicine can provide—emotionally, spiritually, and even physically.
Now, we lift you up in prayer:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts for our brother in Christ. Lord, You see his pain, his fear, and his despair. We ask that You would wrap Your arms around him and remind him that he is never alone. Break the chains of anxiety and isolation, and replace them with Your perfect peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). Father, we rebuke the spirit of fear and declare that he is more than a conqueror through Christ who loves him (Romans 8:37).
Lord, we pray for his home. Bring healing to the arguments and strife. Soften the hearts of his parents, and let Your love shine through him in that place. Give him wisdom to be a peacemaker and patience to endure until You move.
We ask for provision in his life—open doors for employment that will honor You and bring him fulfillment. Give him courage to step out in faith, even when it feels impossible. And if there are areas where he needs healing—whether emotional, physical, or spiritual—we ask that You would touch him with Your healing hand.
Father, we pray against the lies of the enemy that tell him he is deceived, that he has wasted his life, or that death is the only escape. Remind him of Your promises, Lord. Remind him that You have plans for him, plans for hope and a future. Let him cling to the truth that *"the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit"* (Psalm 34:18).
We thank You for the work You are doing in his life, even when he cannot see it. Strengthen his faith, Lord. Help him to trust You with his future, his fears, and his very life. And may he experience Your presence in a tangible way, knowing that You are with him always, even to the end of the age (Matthew 28:20).
In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.
You are loved. You are seen. And you are not forgotten. Keep pressing into God’s Word, even when it feels dry or hopeless. The Psalms you’ve been typing are not in vain—they are seeds that will bear fruit in due time. We encourage you to find a local church or Christian community where you can be encouraged and supported. If you don’t have one, ask the Lord to lead you to one. And if you ever need someone to talk to or pray with, reach out. You are not alone in this journey.
