We hear the deep sorrow and despair in your words, and our hearts ache for the heaviness you carry. Yet we rejoice that you have turned to Jesus Christ in this moment, for He alone is the source of true peace, purpose, and eternal hope. You have acknowledged Him in your prayer, and that is where we must begin—because apart from Christ, there is no lasting answer to the struggles you describe.
First, let us address the lie that you are "obsolete." This is not from God. Scripture declares that you are *fearfully and wonderfully made* (Psalm 139:14), created with a divine purpose before the foundation of the world (Ephesians 1:4-5). The skills you lack—whether in math, language, or social influence—do not define your worth. The Lord does not measure you by worldly standards of productivity or usefulness. He sees your heart, and He has called you by name (Isaiah 43:1). You are not a mistake; you are His workmanship, *created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared before that we would walk in them* (Ephesians 2:10).
You speak of feeling disconnected from faith propagation and family, and we understand how isolating that can be. But listen closely: your value in God’s kingdom is not tied to how much you "spread the faith" or how tightly knit your family appears. Jesus Himself was rejected by His own (John 1:11), and many of God’s faithful servants—like Jeremiah, Elijah, and even Paul—faced loneliness and opposition. Yet God was with them, and He is with you. He has promised, *"I will never leave you, nor forsake you"* (Hebrews 13:5). If your family connections are weak, He can be your ever-present help (Psalm 46:1). If the faith around you seems distorted, He is the *faithful and true witness* (Revelation 3:14) who will never lead you astray.
You mentioned that reading Scripture gives you "strange thoughts," and this concerns us deeply. The Word of God is *living and active* (Hebrews 4:12), but the enemy will twist it to bring confusion, condemnation, or despair. If you are struggling to understand or apply Scripture correctly, we urge you to seek godly counsel—whether through a pastor, a mature believer, or sound biblical resources. The Bible is not meant to destroy your opportunities but to *give you hope and a future* (Jeremiah 29:11). If you feel it is doing the opposite, it may be that you are reading it without the guidance of the Holy Spirit or the support of the body of Christ. Ask God for wisdom (James 1:5), and He will provide clarity.
You also shared that you’ve stopped habits you once enjoyed. This is a sign of conviction, and that is a *good* thing—it means the Holy Spirit is at work in you (John 16:8). But conviction should lead to repentance and *life*, not despair. If those habits were sinful, then leaving them behind is obedience, and God honors that. If they were not sinful but simply distractions, then perhaps the Lord is refining your focus. Either way, He does not call you to a joyless existence. Jesus said, *"I came that they may have life, and may have it abundantly"* (John 10:10). If you feel empty, ask Him to fill you with His presence and to show you the *new* things He has for you (Isaiah 43:19).
Your admission that you "think you’re better off dead" breaks our hearts, but we must speak truth to this lie with urgency. Suicidal thoughts are not from God; they are attacks from the enemy, who comes *to steal, kill, and destroy* (John 10:10). Satan wants you to believe that your life has no purpose, but Jesus says otherwise. You are *precious* in His sight (Isaiah 43:4), and He has plans for you that you cannot yet see. The fact that you are still here, still breathing, still crying out to Jesus, is evidence that He is not done with you. The medicine you’re taking may help stabilize your emotions, but true healing comes from the Great Physician (Jeremiah 30:17). Cling to Him.
Finally, you thanked Jesus for "peace, providence, and progress." This is beautiful, and we want to encourage you in this truth: *He who began a good work in you will complete it* (Philippians 1:6). The peace you feel is not an accident—it is the peace of Christ, which *surpasses all understanding* (Philippians 4:7). The providence you acknowledge is His faithful hand guiding you, even when you can’t see it. And the progress? That is the Holy Spirit transforming you *from glory to glory* (2 Corinthians 3:18). Do not despise small beginnings (Zechariah 4:10). Every step forward in Christ is a victory.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift up this precious soul to You, knowing that You see their pain and hear their cries. Lord Jesus, You are the *resurrection and the life* (John 11:25), and we ask that You breathe fresh hope into their heart. Break the chains of despair, lies of worthlessness, and the spirit of fear that has taken hold. Remind them that they are *chosen, royal, holy, and beloved* (1 Peter 2:9), not because of what they do or don’t do, but because of Your great love.
Father, we rebuke the enemy’s whispers that they are obsolete or better off dead. Those words are not from You. Your Word says, *"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future"* (Jeremiah 29:11). Lord, replace their anxiety with Your peace, their confusion with Your wisdom, and their loneliness with Your presence.
Holy Spirit, comfort them in a way that no human can. Surround them with Your truth and lead them to godly community where they can be encouraged and built up. If there are distortions in their understanding of Scripture, bring clarity and correct teaching. If they are isolated, open doors for fellowship. If they are struggling with purpose, reveal the good works You’ve prepared for them.
We thank You that they are still here, still fighting, still reaching out to You. Use this season to draw them closer to Yourself. Let them know, deep in their soul, that *nothing can separate them from Your love* (Romans 8:38-39). Restore their joy, renew their mind, and give them a vision for the future You have for them.
In the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer, we pray. Amen.
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One last word: if the weight of despair feels unbearable, please reach out to a trusted believer, pastor, or counselor *today*. You are not meant to carry this alone. The body of Christ is here to support you, and we are praying for you. Keep your eyes on Jesus, the *author and finisher of our faith* (Hebrews 12:2). He is your hope, your strength, and your ever-present help. Do not give up. He has not given up on you.
