We come before you with heavy hearts, lifting up our brother who is enduring such profound suffering—both in body and spirit. The trials you describe are overwhelming, and we grieve with you over the depth of your pain, the spiritual attacks, and the betrayal you feel. Yet even in this darkness, we must cling to the truth that Jesus Christ is the light that no darkness can overcome (John 1:5). You have cried out to Him, and that is where hope begins.
First, we must address the despair in your words—your wish for death and your frustration that God’s victory does not feel overwhelming. Beloved, these feelings are real, but they are not the truth. The enemy seeks to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10), and one of his greatest lies is that God has abandoned you. But Scripture declares that nothing can separate us from the love of Christ—not tribulation, distress, persecution, famine, nakedness, peril, or sword (Romans 8:35-39). Even when we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, God is with us (Psalm 23:4). Your life has purpose, and your suffering is not in vain. The Lord collects every tear in His bottle (Psalm 56:8), and He will redeem this season for His glory.
We also hear the deep spiritual warfare in your words—the religious attacks, the sense of betrayal, and the manipulation you’ve endured. Fasting is a biblical discipline, but it is not meant to be a tool of legalism or a means to earn God’s favor. Jesus warned against fasting for the approval of men or as a way to manipulate spiritual outcomes (Matthew 6:16-18). True fasting is accompanied by humility, prayer, and a heart that seeks God’s will—not a performance to impress others or invite further attack. If your fasting has become a source of spiritual oppression rather than drawing you closer to God, we urge you to seek His wisdom on whether this season of fasting should continue or be adjusted. The Lord desires mercy, not sacrifice (Hosea 6:6), and He does not delight in seeing His children broken under the weight of religious burdens.
Your mention of giving away nearly all your money is deeply concerning. While generosity is a virtue, Scripture also teaches that we are to provide for our own households and not place ourselves in situations of unnecessary hardship (1 Timothy 5:8). If your giving has left you destitute, we encourage you to seek wise counsel from mature believers who can help you steward your resources in a way that honors God while also meeting your basic needs. The Lord does not call us to reckless poverty, but to trust Him while also using the wisdom He provides.
The behaviors you describe—eating dust and hair—are signs of extreme distress, and we urge you to seek both spiritual and medical help. Mental illness, including schizophrenia and PTSD, is not a sign of weak faith but a real battle that often requires professional support alongside spiritual care. Jesus is the Great Physician, and He can work through doctors, counselors, and medications to bring healing. Do not hesitate to reach out for help. You are not failing God by seeking treatment; you are stewarding the body He has given you.
We must also address the anger and bitterness in your words—your desire for God to destroy those who have persecuted you. While your pain is valid, Scripture commands us not to repay evil for evil but to overcome evil with good (Romans 12:17-21). Vengeance belongs to the Lord (Deuteronomy 32:35), and He will judge righteously. Instead, we are called to bless those who curse us and pray for those who mistreat us (Matthew 5:44). This does not mean what has been done to you is justified, but it means releasing the burden of vengeance to God and trusting Him to act on your behalf.
Finally, we notice that while you mentioned "Thanks, Jesus" at the end, much of your prayer was directed in frustration and even accusation toward God. It is only through the name of Jesus that we have access to the Father (John 14:6), and it is in His name that we find our hope. If you are feeling distant from God, we encourage you to cry out to Jesus directly, asking Him to renew your faith and fill you with His peace. He is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18), and He will not turn away from your honest prayers.
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we lift up our brother to You, knowing that You see his suffering and hear his cries. Lord, he is weary, broken, and overwhelmed by the battles he faces—both in his mind and in the spiritual realm. We ask You to surround him with Your peace, which surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7), and to guard his heart and mind in Christ Jesus.
Father, we rebuke the spirits of confusion, despair, and oppression that have sought to destroy him. By the authority of Jesus’ name, we command these forces to flee and declare that no weapon formed against him shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17). Lord, break the chains of mental torment and restore his mind to clarity and hope. Heal the wounds of PTSD and the distortions of schizophrenia, and lead him to the right medical and spiritual support.
We pray for provision—both physically and spiritually. Lord, You own the cattle on a thousand hills (Psalm 50:10), and You will not abandon Your child. Provide for his needs, and help him to steward his resources wisely. If he has been misled by false teachings or religious manipulation, expose these lies and lead him back to the truth of Your Word.
Father, we ask for Your protection over his heart. Replace his bitterness with Your love, his despair with Your hope, and his fear with Your perfect peace. Help him to forgive those who have wronged him, not because they deserve it, but because You have forgiven him. Remind him that his worth is found in You alone, not in his performance, his fasting, or the approval of others.
Lord, we pray for a community of believers to come alongside him—people who will love him, support him, and point him to You. Do not let him walk this path alone. And finally, Father, renew his faith. Help him to see that even in this darkness, You are working all things together for his good (Romans 8:28). Let him experience Your presence in a tangible way, and remind him that his story is not over—You are still writing redemption over his life.
We ask all this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer. Amen.
Beloved, hold fast to Jesus. He is your anchor in this storm. Reach out to a trusted pastor or believer who can walk with you through this season. You are not alone, and your life has purpose in Him. Keep seeking Him, and He will restore your soul.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
