We hear the deep distress and spiritual warfare you are describing, and we are compelled to address this with both urgency and clarity in the name of Jesus Christ, who alone has authority over every power of darkness. Your words reveal a heart crying out for deliverance, but they also contain dangerous misunderstandings about God’s character, His justice, and how we as believers are called to respond to temptation and suffering. Let us first correct what does not align with Scripture, then pray fervently for your protection, renewal, and alignment with God’s truth.
The idea that your faith should "allow you to murder every single person that has tempted you" is a grave distortion of God’s Word. Murder is explicitly condemned in Scripture, and vengeance belongs to the Lord alone, not to us. Romans 12:19 declares, *"Don’t seek revenge yourselves, beloved, but give place to God’s wrath. For it is written, ‘Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay, says the Lord.’"* Similarly, Jesus commands us in Matthew 5:44, *"But I tell you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you and persecute you."* Your struggle is not with flesh and blood but with spiritual forces of evil (Ephesians 6:12), and our weapons are *not* carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds (2 Corinthians 10:4). The desire for violence—even against those who provoke you—is a lie from the enemy to lead you into sin and further bondage. Repent of this thought immediately, for it is not of God.
You also mention experiencing "religious attack" and attribute it to "someone named ###" or even "the churches." While spiritual attacks are real, we must be careful not to blame fellow believers or assume malice without clear evidence. The enemy seeks to divide the Body of Christ by fostering suspicion and bitterness. Instead, we are called to unity and love (1 Corinthians 1:10, John 13:34-35). If you are sensing oppression, it is likely the work of the devil, who *"prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour"* (1 Peter 5:8). Your focus should be on resisting him, *firm in your faith* (1 Peter 5:9), not on accusing others.
Regarding your fasting, it is a powerful spiritual discipline when done with the right heart (Matthew 6:16-18). However, if your fast is leading you to isolate yourself from your family—such as refusing to speak to your grandmother when she greets you—it may be misapplied. Honoring your parents and grandparents is a commandment (Exodus 20:12), and kindness should mark our interactions, especially with those who are vulnerable, like your grandmother suffering from dementia. Your silence in that moment may have been unintentionally hurtful. Ask the Lord to show you how to balance your spiritual disciplines with love and responsibility toward others.
The "targeted" advertisements and the coincidences you describe—such as the ad about "not seeing her" or the emphasis on military achievement—may feel personal, but we must remember that the enemy often uses *deception* to make us feel uniquely persecuted or "singled out." Scripture warns us not to be ignorant of his schemes (2 Corinthians 2:11). However, fixating on these "signs" can lead to paranoia, which is not of God. *"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control"* (2 Timothy 1:7). Instead of interpreting every detail as a spiritual attack, ask the Holy Spirit to guard your mind and discern what is truly from Him.
You mention your past struggles with drugs and alcohol, and we commend you for recognizing how those sins once enslaved you. However, you say, *"I don’t see how my past actions in private are causing other people to falter."* While it’s true that others are responsible for their own choices, Scripture teaches that sin has *consequences* that can ripple outward (Numbers 14:18, Galatians 6:7-8). Your past may have opened doors to spiritual oppression in your life, but in Christ, you have authority to *close those doors* through repentance, renouncing sin, and walking in obedience. If you haven’t already, confess any unrepented sin—including substance abuse—and ask the Lord to break its lingering effects over you.
Your mention of "warframe" and "regression" suggests you may be engaging with media or practices that are not glorifying to God. Philippians 4:8 instructs us: *"Finally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there is any virtue, and if there is any praise, think about these things."* If games, shows, or even conversations (such as with "###") are stirring up confusion, fear, or ungodly thoughts, it is wise to fast from them as well. The mind renewed by the Word of God is our strongest defense (Romans 12:2).
Lastly, you express frustration that you’re *"not progressing in fitness and academics"* while pursuing prayer and the Bible. Remember that growth in Christ is not measured by worldly success but by *faithfulness* (1 Corinthians 4:2). If you are seeking the Lord first, He will provide what you need (Matthew 6:33). However, discipline in all areas—spiritual, physical, and mental—is important. Ask God for wisdom to steward your time well, and trust that He is working even when you don’t see immediate results.
Now, let us pray for you with the authority of Jesus Christ, who has *already* triumphed over every power of darkness:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, lifting up our brother who is under fierce spiritual attack. Lord, You see the confusion, the fear, and the distortions of truth that the enemy has sown in his mind. We rebuked every lying spirit, every spirit of murder, vengeance, paranoia, and oppression in Jesus’ name. Father, break the power of these strongholds and loose Your peace, clarity, and soundness of mind upon him.
Lord, we ask for discernment to recognize the enemy’s schemes and the wisdom to reject every thought that does not align with Your Word. Where there has been sin—known or unknown—we ask for deep repentance and cleansing by the blood of Jesus. Close every door that was opened to the enemy through past actions, media, or ungodly influences. Fill him afresh with Your Holy Spirit, that he may walk in power, love, and self-control.
We pray for protection over his mind, that he would not be consumed by fear or conspiracy but would fix his eyes on You, the author and finisher of his faith. Guard his heart against bitterness, especially toward Your Church or fellow believers. Remind him that his battle is not against people but against the spiritual forces of evil, and equip him with Your armor to stand firm.
Father, we ask for healing in his relationship with his grandmother. Soften his heart to show her kindness and patience, even in his fasting. Give him wisdom to balance his spiritual disciplines with love for those around him.
We declare that no weapon formed against him shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17). Every plan of the enemy to confuse, accuse, or destroy him is *cancelled* in Jesus’ name. Lord, surround him with Your angels, encamp around him, and deliver him from every snare of the fowler.
Finally, Father, we ask that You restore his joy in You. Let him experience Your presence so tangibly that fear and despair flee. Renew his strength like the eagle’s (Isaiah 40:31), and lead him into the purposes You have for him—purposes of hope, peace, and victory.
We pray all this in the *powerful*, *matchless* name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
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Brother, we urge you to meditate on these truths and reject every lie the enemy has whispered to you. If you do not have a strong, Bible-believing church community around you, seek one out immediately. Isolation is dangerous in spiritual warfare. Surround yourself with mature believers who can pray with you, encourage you, and hold you accountable. If you are struggling with thoughts of violence or despair, reach out to a pastor or trusted Christian mentor *today*. You are not alone in this fight—*"The Lord is faithful, who will establish you and guard you from the evil one"* (2 Thessalonians 3:3).
Stand firm. The Lord is with you.
