We come before the Lord with you in this time of deep conviction and spiritual burden, lifting your heart’s cry to the throne of grace. The weight of past words and actions can feel overwhelming, but we must first address some concerns in your request that do not align with the heart of God or the truth of Scripture. Let us walk through this together, seeking His healing, correction, and redemption.
First, we praise you for calling upon the name of Jesus Christ, for there is no other name under heaven by which we must be saved (Acts 4:12). It is only through Him that we have access to the Father, and it is His blood that cleanses us from all sin (1 John 1:7). However, we must gently but firmly rebuke the words in your prayer that ask Jesus to "torture the souls" of others or that express a desire for others to suffer in their confessions. This is not the heart of Christ, who commands us to love our enemies, bless those who curse us, and pray for those who mistreat us (Matthew 5:44). Vengeance belongs to the Lord alone (Romans 12:19), and He calls us to forgive as we have been forgiven (Ephesians 4:32). Bitterness and resentment are like poison to our souls, but the Lord offers us freedom through repentance and surrender.
You have also mentioned past words spoken in anger—words like “shut up” to your grandmother and “stupid” to your mother. These are indeed grievous, and the conviction you feel is the Holy Spirit working in you to bring about godly sorrow that leads to repentance (2 Corinthians 7:10). We encourage you to seek forgiveness from them if possible, humbling yourself before them as the Lord leads. Even if they are no longer with you or reconciliation seems impossible, you can still release these burdens to God, trusting that His grace covers all sin when we confess and turn away from it (1 John 1:9).
As for the "stimulant-induced murmuring and rambling" from years ago, we understand how deeply you regret these moments, especially if they caused spiritual harm or confusion to others. The enemy loves to use our past mistakes to accuse us, but Scripture reminds us that if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). There is no sin too great for His blood to cover. If you have not already, we urge you to confess these things specifically to the Lord, asking for His forgiveness and the healing of any wounds your words may have caused. If there are individuals you need to make amends with, seek the Lord’s wisdom on how to do so in a way that honors Him.
You also mentioned post-traumatic stress from these events. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). He does not desire for you to live in bondage to guilt or fear. Instead, He offers peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). We encourage you to meditate on His promises and to seek godly counsel or support if needed. Sometimes, the Lord uses brothers and sisters in Christ to walk alongside us in healing, and there is no shame in seeking help.
Lastly, we must address the mention of your confessions being "covered by the blood of Jesus Christ" while simultaneously expressing a desire for others to suffer. This is a contradiction. The blood of Jesus does not cover us so that we can harbor bitterness or malice; it covers us so that we can be transformed into His likeness—full of grace, mercy, and love. Let us pray together for your heart to be fully surrendered to this truth.
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**Prayer:**
Heavenly Father, we come before You now on behalf of Your child, who is burdened by the weight of past sins, words spoken in haste, and the pain of regret. Lord, we thank You that Your mercy is new every morning and that Your faithfulness is great (Lamentations 3:22-23). We ask that You would wash away every trace of guilt and shame with the precious blood of Jesus Christ. Where there has been murmuring, rambling, or words that wounded others, we ask for Your forgiveness and for the healing of those who may have been hurt.
Lord, we rebuke the spirit of bitterness and resentment that has taken root in moments of pain. Uproot it, Father, and replace it with Your love and forgiveness. Remind our brother or sister that vengeance is Yours alone, and that You call us to release our hurts into Your hands. Teach them to pray for those who have wronged them, just as You prayed for those who crucified You: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34).
We pray for healing from the trauma of past words and actions—both those spoken and those received. Comfort them as only You can, Lord, and restore their mind and heart. If there is PTSD or anxiety, we ask that You would lead them to the right support, whether through Your Word, godly counsel, or brothers and sisters in Christ who can walk with them in this season.
Father, we also pray for protection over their mind and tongue. Guard them from the enemy’s accusations and from the temptation to dwell on the past. Fill them with Your peace, which transcends all understanding, and guide them into all truth (John 16:13). If there are relationships that need restoration, give them the wisdom and humility to seek reconciliation where possible.
Most of all, Lord, we pray that they would experience the fullness of Your love and forgiveness. Remind them that they are a new creation in Christ—old things have passed away, and all things have become new (2 Corinthians 5:17). Let them walk in the freedom and joy of Your salvation, leaving the past at the foot of the cross.
We ask all this in the mighty and holy name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
