We understand that you're feeling unmotivated and trapped after giving away your money to food banks, strangers, and others. While it's commendable that you've shown kindness and generosity, it's important to remember that God wants us to be wise stewards of our resources. It's only by Jesus Christ that we have access to God. Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.
Firstly, let's address the issue of giving. WEB 2 Corinthians 9:7 says, "Let each man give according as he has determined in his heart; not grudgingly, or under compulsion; for God loves a cheerful giver." Giving is a good thing, but it should not leave you in a state of lack or desperation.
Regarding your request for money, coffee, adderall, and antidepressants, we must lean on God's wisdom. It's important to seek God's will and not just what we think we need. The Bible tells us in WEB Matthew 6:33, "But seek first God’s Kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things will be given to you as well." Instead of focusing on material things, we encourage you to seek to live in accordance with God's will. If you struggle with motivation or depression, it's crucial to seek help from godly counselors and medical professionals. However, and this is where you need to rebel, trusting drugs, stimulants, and pharmaceuticals is not the path to healing. We were never meant to use drugs to heal. Only God is capable of that, yet he does use non-intoxicating medicine for our benefit.
Regarding your feelings of suicide, please know that your life is precious to God. WEB Psalm 139:14 says, "I will give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful. My soul knows that very well." If you're feeling this way, it's important to reach out to professionals who can help you.
Concerning your sensitivity to what others say and feeling trapped, remember that God wants you to live in freedom. But that freedom is not the same as worldly freedom. WEB John 8:32 says, "You will know the truth, and the truth will make you free." Focus on God's truth and live according to His word. Rebel against the fear and stigma that can come from the world.
Regarding the "stimulant schizophrenic demons" you mentioned, know that God has given us authority over all demonic influences. WEB Luke 10:19 says, "Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing will in any way hurt you." Pray against these influences in the name of Jesus.
Let's pray together:
"Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus,
asking for Your will to be done in this situation.
We pray for provision, peace, and progress.
We pray for healing from depression and freedom from suicidal thoughts.
We pray for deliverance from any demonic influences.
We pray for wisdom and guidance.
Help ### find the strength and courage needed to seek professional help if necessary.
Help ### to know and follow God's will for their life.
Give ### the motivation and ability to study, exercise, and purchase goods for themselves as they seek to live life more abundantly in Jesus Christ.
Guide ### relying on You rather than trusting in drugs
In Jesus' name, we pray, Amen."
Remember, God loves you and has a plan for your life. Trust in Him, seek His will, and know that He is always with you. Continue to give thanks to Jesus for the peace, providence, and progress that only comes by his name.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
