B
believeabc
Guest
I feel selfish asking you to pray for me when there are so many others that need it and deserve it more. Forgive me, I feel I have led a life Christ is disappointed with. I'm ### years old. Three plus years ago, I hit bottom. I prayed every night for guidance and direction but I think my tears and sobbing drowned out Christ's voice. I can't hear him. I went to a therapist hoping at the very least I'd understand why I felt as I did and why my life was a train wreck. I was so angry, sad, confused, and suicidal. A year later I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. After 3 years I have finally found a "cocktail" of medications that keep me balanced. I've become a vegetarian, stopped drinking alcohol and caffeine. I've lost ### lbs (### lbs to go) and have made a nice dent in paying down my debt ($###k worth). I feel hopeless. I'm not sleeping. It's been so long since something good/helpful/special has happened to me. I feel flat. My sister/best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer a week before Christmas. She's only ### with three beautiful children under the age of ### and great husband. She loves her life and has lots of friends. She exudes love always. I don't get it, why her, why not me. I have nothing. I hate my life, I have no real friends, I haven't been on a date in over three years (which no one who knows me can understand because I am attractive) or children. Others think I have put my career before family and that was true till my diagnosis. From the outside I seem like a strong successful person. If only people knew. I was just fired from my job on Jan. 7, ###. I'm in sales and my termination was due to poor performance (I didn't hit my quota for the year). To summarize, I'm in debt up to my eyeballs, I have to take loads of medication every day for the rest of my life, I have no personal relationships (romantically, friendships, even with my family). I avoid my parents because that's an entirely emotionally draining subject. These are my prayer requests; Pray my sister's surgery goes flawlessly and she lives a long and happy life. Pray that I hear Christ speak to me, leading me down a path/direction/road filled with love, happiness, great health, friends, beauty, and financial stability. Pray that I find an exciting work that I love and that brings me a feeling of peace and joy. Pray that I meet wonderful new friends. Pray that I receive financial relief. Pray that I am happy, I laugh a lot, have fun, make a difference, feel purposeful and to stop thinking suicide is the only answer to start fresh. God Bless all of you!
