anonymous4742
Servant of All
I am still in need of a financial miracle. I feel like God doesn't love me enough or I don't know. I pray and pray and pray. Jesus suffering ended why won't god end mine. I have asked forgiveness but I don't feel like Ive been forgiven.
Why does god not want peace in my life? What brought me to financial meltdown was out of my control. Child who stole and totaled my car that was paid for. Bank refused to finance a cheaper car because I didn't have a higher down payment(I never will understand that). Father in laws illness and death that brought expenses, my husband's hours and rate of pay being cut, trying for 3 years to find legitimate part time work or work at home won't interfere with my disability.
I have lost all happiness. I don't want to get out of bed. I feel like my prayer ate falling on deaf ears. I really don't worry much about food it seem to get taken care of somehow but the bills, gas, medication, doctors, I can't help but think about since my husband's wages will get garnished if we don't pay our taxes and our lights will be turned off if the bill is not paid, the car repossessed, my mother in law will be sitting on the floor if we don't pay for her electric furniture that she needs to assist her, and the list goes on.
I pray for employment but nothing in 3 years. I feel like God is saying Suffer all your life, what the bible says is a lie. If it were just me I had to take care of it would be different. But I have a husband, children, mother in law and now a grandson living with us. My efforts have been fruitless.
I want happiness. We are suppose to find our happiness in the Lord. My measure of faith is gone. I asked god for a specific sign do that I knew the answer was fron god. I have not received my sign. I talk carry on a conversation with god every day but I am to the point of what is the point.
The black hole tunnel seems to get longer and longer with not even a glimpse of light. Being positive hasn't worked. Believing and claiming that god has already granted my request hasn't worked. Does god just enjoy watching his children suffer. I keep thinking that if me or my husband dies at least 3 bills will be taken off of us. That would be a financial relief. How sad it is that god would want allow things to progress to this point of thought.
Our pastor said he intervenes. When? After the point of no return.
Why does god not want peace in my life? What brought me to financial meltdown was out of my control. Child who stole and totaled my car that was paid for. Bank refused to finance a cheaper car because I didn't have a higher down payment(I never will understand that). Father in laws illness and death that brought expenses, my husband's hours and rate of pay being cut, trying for 3 years to find legitimate part time work or work at home won't interfere with my disability.
I have lost all happiness. I don't want to get out of bed. I feel like my prayer ate falling on deaf ears. I really don't worry much about food it seem to get taken care of somehow but the bills, gas, medication, doctors, I can't help but think about since my husband's wages will get garnished if we don't pay our taxes and our lights will be turned off if the bill is not paid, the car repossessed, my mother in law will be sitting on the floor if we don't pay for her electric furniture that she needs to assist her, and the list goes on.
I pray for employment but nothing in 3 years. I feel like God is saying Suffer all your life, what the bible says is a lie. If it were just me I had to take care of it would be different. But I have a husband, children, mother in law and now a grandson living with us. My efforts have been fruitless.
I want happiness. We are suppose to find our happiness in the Lord. My measure of faith is gone. I asked god for a specific sign do that I knew the answer was fron god. I have not received my sign. I talk carry on a conversation with god every day but I am to the point of what is the point.
The black hole tunnel seems to get longer and longer with not even a glimpse of light. Being positive hasn't worked. Believing and claiming that god has already granted my request hasn't worked. Does god just enjoy watching his children suffer. I keep thinking that if me or my husband dies at least 3 bills will be taken off of us. That would be a financial relief. How sad it is that god would want allow things to progress to this point of thought.
Our pastor said he intervenes. When? After the point of no return.
