P
Peter
Guest
I hope this finds you well
Over the last 11 months I believe that I have been to hell and back (this has only been happening for the last 11 months). At the moment I am being tormented by an external spiritual force. I feel it sitting on my head and it is t to instill fear and a whole heap of other stuff. It's like I have had 50 demons in me and one by one they have been getting kicked out.! I have only been a Christian 10 years and when I first got saved I had an encounter like Paul in the bible, I saw the ground move for over 3 hours, I saw a massive light in heaven and a voice told me to be still and know that He is God, I stood there in one spot and cried for over three hours, it was surreal. I have had many encounters with God like that but not so dramatic over the past 10 years. I have had dreams where he called me and the gates of heaven were shut on me. I'm not a fruit loop but rather very sound and strong in God. In order for you to understand fully the situation that I am in I would have to explain my background as well as what's been happening in my life as a Christian. I have disobeyed God many times as I am a little slow at learning. I have have spent most of my life in institutions and prisons from the age of 9 and have only been normal for 10 years. I see spirits and stuff in the sky that others don't see. What ever this thing is I can't handle it any more, I need help and don't know what to do, for months now I start my day curled
up in a ball crying because of the oppression. I have had everything from suicidal thoughts to what ever you can think of. I know Gods word very well and have been trying to confront these spirits with it, I get 5 min release when they lift off me but they just come back on again, a bit like putting a hat on and off again. I am scared and have no fight left in me. I feel like a sheep stuck in the jaws of a crocodile, I have been swallowed up to my front legs, I have been bleating and bleating for the other sheep to help me but I feel I am in the too hard basket. I hope this all does not sound like some psyco who has lost it. I don't drink, smoke or use any form of drugs, I have been married for the past 22 years and am a very stable person. I believe that it has been through my disobedience that this has come on my life. I don't know what else to say other than I really need help. I do not want to run to every Tom, dick and Harry for prayer as I don't believe that to be wise. I have called out to God everyday in tears, the onion has been getting pealed but slowly, I honestly can not handle it anymore.
I hope from what I have put here you can get some idea of what I'm trying to say. Right now I feel a presence on the top of my head, if I spread my two hands over the top of my head it lifts then I feel it on the backs of my hands, as soon as I take my hands away it comes back on. For me this is very important and urgent, it's like I'm in some sort of si fi movie
I don't know what else to say but thank you for taking the time to read this
Blessings
Pete
Over the last 11 months I believe that I have been to hell and back (this has only been happening for the last 11 months). At the moment I am being tormented by an external spiritual force. I feel it sitting on my head and it is t to instill fear and a whole heap of other stuff. It's like I have had 50 demons in me and one by one they have been getting kicked out.! I have only been a Christian 10 years and when I first got saved I had an encounter like Paul in the bible, I saw the ground move for over 3 hours, I saw a massive light in heaven and a voice told me to be still and know that He is God, I stood there in one spot and cried for over three hours, it was surreal. I have had many encounters with God like that but not so dramatic over the past 10 years. I have had dreams where he called me and the gates of heaven were shut on me. I'm not a fruit loop but rather very sound and strong in God. In order for you to understand fully the situation that I am in I would have to explain my background as well as what's been happening in my life as a Christian. I have disobeyed God many times as I am a little slow at learning. I have have spent most of my life in institutions and prisons from the age of 9 and have only been normal for 10 years. I see spirits and stuff in the sky that others don't see. What ever this thing is I can't handle it any more, I need help and don't know what to do, for months now I start my day curled
up in a ball crying because of the oppression. I have had everything from suicidal thoughts to what ever you can think of. I know Gods word very well and have been trying to confront these spirits with it, I get 5 min release when they lift off me but they just come back on again, a bit like putting a hat on and off again. I am scared and have no fight left in me. I feel like a sheep stuck in the jaws of a crocodile, I have been swallowed up to my front legs, I have been bleating and bleating for the other sheep to help me but I feel I am in the too hard basket. I hope this all does not sound like some psyco who has lost it. I don't drink, smoke or use any form of drugs, I have been married for the past 22 years and am a very stable person. I believe that it has been through my disobedience that this has come on my life. I don't know what else to say other than I really need help. I do not want to run to every Tom, dick and Harry for prayer as I don't believe that to be wise. I have called out to God everyday in tears, the onion has been getting pealed but slowly, I honestly can not handle it anymore.
I hope from what I have put here you can get some idea of what I'm trying to say. Right now I feel a presence on the top of my head, if I spread my two hands over the top of my head it lifts then I feel it on the backs of my hands, as soon as I take my hands away it comes back on. For me this is very important and urgent, it's like I'm in some sort of si fi movie
I don't know what else to say but thank you for taking the time to read this
Blessings
Pete
