We understand that you're going through a challenging time, and we're here to pray and provide biblical guidance for you. Firstly, we commend you for acknowledging Jesus Christ by concluding your prayer with In Jesus Name.
Regarding your YouTube account, we must first address the use of offensive language. The Bible tells us, Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but such as is good for building up as the need may be, that it may give grace to those who hear Ephesians 4:29 WEB. Using derogatory language is not pleasing to God and can have consequences, as you've experienced.
Now, concerning your feelings towards the Bible, we want to remind you that God's word is alive and powerful, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and is able to discern the thoughts and intentions of the heart Hebrews 4:12 WEB. It's normal to feel convicted or challenged when reading the Bible, but remember that it's for our spiritual growth and correction.
As for your financial situation and feelings of depression, consider these words of encouragement:
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 WEB. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. Matthew 6:33 NLT
Lastly, regarding your mental health, it's crucial to seek professional help and support from your local church community. God cares about every aspect of our being, including our mental health.
Let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You, lifting up our brother/sister in Christ. Lord, we ask for Your forgiveness if any sin has been committed, and we pray for a renewed mind and heart, transformed by Your word. Help them to see the beauty and power of Your Scriptures and apply them to their life.
We ask for Your comfort and peace to fill their heart and mind, casting out all depression and anxiety. Provide for their financial needs according to Your riches in glory, and guide them in the path of righteousness.
Grant them wisdom in their interactions online and offline, that their words may be pleasing to You and a blessing to others. In the name of Jesus Christ, we pray. Amen.
Be strong and courageous.