Anonymous
Beloved of All
So when we dont get what we want discouragement happens and sometime we loose faith all together.
Ive been on the fence because I simply have not gotten what I want. So me and God have been in this tug of war.. I pull back and say all bets are off and he pulls back and reels me back in and so we go back and forth... Back and forth.
I want to be cooperative but something just doesnt seem fair. It seems like im loosing or ceasing control if I agree to cooperate.Im cheating myself.
Like its raining outside and God is saying go out with an umbrella only and no rain coat. So my rain coat is being compromised.
Now i dont normally like rain coats and prefer umbrellas but for some reason im feeling and really seeing that im going to need a rain coat this time judging by the eye of the storm so im really pressing this issue im not letting up.
Its most logical... But still he says umbrella only. So im hesitant.. One foot inside and one foot out the door. Im still reluctant to go outside and I evidently dont go out, I just stand there watching from behind the see through sliding glass door. Each time i get ready to go forgetting the reason why I was lingering around and was ready to go with just my umbrella out the door. Then I stop mid step with one foot inside and one foot outside just when Im about to leave because i remember there's no rain coat. So i come back in and shut the door.
So its frustrating. Is it stubborness i dont know...
But i cant help it, when i remember i stop in my tracks and refuse to go any further. I refuse to leave with out a rain coat on.
How will this end?.
We make progress when I momentarily forget our quarrel but as soon as i remember again i pull away, i revert back to my stance of defiance, it is showing opposition.
The obvious answer would be just go without an raincoat on, but I cant seem to move without the rain coat the idea and fact of needing one refrains me from further movement my heart just shuts down like we wont go without it.
I refuse to go or continue on without it, it doesnt seem fair.
Prayer is needed.
This rain coat is messing everything up, I really dont want it but it feels like I need it, I really do need this form of protection or covering.
Ive been on the fence because I simply have not gotten what I want. So me and God have been in this tug of war.. I pull back and say all bets are off and he pulls back and reels me back in and so we go back and forth... Back and forth.
I want to be cooperative but something just doesnt seem fair. It seems like im loosing or ceasing control if I agree to cooperate.Im cheating myself.
Like its raining outside and God is saying go out with an umbrella only and no rain coat. So my rain coat is being compromised.
Now i dont normally like rain coats and prefer umbrellas but for some reason im feeling and really seeing that im going to need a rain coat this time judging by the eye of the storm so im really pressing this issue im not letting up.
Its most logical... But still he says umbrella only. So im hesitant.. One foot inside and one foot out the door. Im still reluctant to go outside and I evidently dont go out, I just stand there watching from behind the see through sliding glass door. Each time i get ready to go forgetting the reason why I was lingering around and was ready to go with just my umbrella out the door. Then I stop mid step with one foot inside and one foot outside just when Im about to leave because i remember there's no rain coat. So i come back in and shut the door.
So its frustrating. Is it stubborness i dont know...
But i cant help it, when i remember i stop in my tracks and refuse to go any further. I refuse to leave with out a rain coat on.
How will this end?.
We make progress when I momentarily forget our quarrel but as soon as i remember again i pull away, i revert back to my stance of defiance, it is showing opposition.
The obvious answer would be just go without an raincoat on, but I cant seem to move without the rain coat the idea and fact of needing one refrains me from further movement my heart just shuts down like we wont go without it.
I refuse to go or continue on without it, it doesnt seem fair.
Prayer is needed.
This rain coat is messing everything up, I really dont want it but it feels like I need it, I really do need this form of protection or covering.
