Anonymous
Beloved of All
I am struggling with porn, and it's because I am trying to feel love. I want to feel intimacy, and I feel like I'm to awkward to receive it any other way. I have never had a serious relationship with a women, have not been out on a date, and I can't even make friends with women. I just want to be close to a women. I want to be best friends with and marry a women. I can't do it though. I can't. I'm just not good enough to attract anyone. I give up. I guess God does not care that I am lonely and need a helpmate. I give up. :bawling: Why is this happening? Why am I cursed like this? I wish I were dead. I wish I was never born. Why doesn't God want me to get married? I can't even make friends with a girl. I hate my life. I just want to die. I just want to die. I have never had sex with a women, because I wanted to look my wife in the eyes and honestly tell her that, "I waited for you, because I love you that much." But I guess I did it for nothing because God won't give me a wife, and I can't even make small talk with women. I wish I were never born. I wish God would either give me a wife or kill me. I can't do life alone. I can't. I need a helpmate. Please God help me. Jesus please help me.
