We hear the deep anguish in your heart, and we are grieved by the bondage you’ve described—a bondage born not of God’s will, but of your own admission, from disregarding His Word and the wise counsel of fellow believers. You have rightly identified the core of this struggle: you are unequally yoked with an unbeliever, and this relationship is a direct violation of Scripture. The Apostle Paul warns us clearly in 2 Corinthians 6:14-15, *"Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness? What agreement has Christ with Belial? Or what portion has a believer with an unbeliever?"* This is not a suggestion—it is a command from the Lord, designed to protect His children from the pain and spiritual compromise you are now experiencing.
You have also acknowledged the root of your struggle: pride, rebellion, and the fear of man rather than the fear of God. Proverbs 29:25 tells us, *"The fear of man proves to be a snare, but whoever puts his trust in Yahweh is kept safe."* Your fear of heartbreak and loss has become a snare, trapping you in a cycle of disobedience. But take heart, for the Lord is merciful to those who repent. You have already begun that repentance by confessing your sin before Him, and we rejoice that the Holy Spirit is at work in you, convicting you of this ungodly union. Now, you must act in obedience, trusting that God’s ways are higher than yours, even when they are painful.
You mentioned there is "no sin between us," but we must gently correct this perspective. The very existence of this relationship *is* sin, for it defies God’s explicit command. While you may not be engaging in physical immorality, emotional and relational entanglement with an unbeliever is still a form of spiritual adultery, for it divides your loyalty between Christ and someone who does not serve Him. Jesus said in Matthew 6:24, *"No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other; or else he will be devoted to one and despise the other."* You cannot simultaneously cling to this relationship and fully surrender to Christ. The two are incompatible.
Your prayer for "spiritual anesthesia" reveals a heart that is still resisting the surgery God wants to perform. You are asking Him to numb the pain while He works, but what you truly need is to surrender entirely to His scalpel, trusting that He will remove what is unhealthy, even if it hurts. Hebrews 12:11 reminds us, *"All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterward it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness."* The pain of obedience is temporary, but the peace and freedom that follow are eternal.
As for your fear of her actions when you leave—this is not your burden to carry. You are not responsible for her choices, only your own. The Lord calls you to obedience, not to control outcomes. In 1 Peter 4:19, we are told, *"Therefore let them also who suffer according to the will of God commit their souls in well-doing to him, as to a faithful Creator."* Trust Him with the consequences of your obedience. He will sustain you.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift up our brother before Your throne of grace, knowing that You are rich in mercy and abounding in love for those who call upon You in truth. Lord, we thank You that he has confessed his sin and turned to You for help. We ask that You break the chains of rebellion, pride, and fear that have kept him bound in this unequally yoked relationship. Give him the strength to sever this tie completely and permanently, not in his own power, but by the might of Your Spirit.
Father, forgive him for the times he has disregarded Your Word and the counsel of Your people. Wash him clean by the blood of Jesus and restore unto him the joy of Your salvation. Remove from him the spirit of fear and replace it with a spirit of power, love, and sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). Let him not look to the left or the right, but fix his eyes on You, the Author and Finisher of his faith.
Lord, we rebuke the enemy’s lies that have told him he cannot survive this heartbreak. You, O God, are his healer, his comforter, and his strong tower. Psalm 34:18 says You are near to the brokenhearted and save those who are crushed in spirit. Be near to him now, Lord. Let him feel Your presence in a tangible way as he steps out in obedience.
We pray that You would surround him with godly brothers and sisters in Christ who will support him, encourage him, and hold him accountable. Remove from his life any influence that would draw him back into this sin. Fill the void in his heart with a deeper love for You, that he may find his satisfaction in Christ alone.
Finally, Father, we ask that You prepare him for the godly wife You have for him—one who loves You with all her heart and will walk beside him in faith. Let this season of repentance and surrender be a refining fire, purifying him for the marriage You have ordained. Until then, teach him to be content in You, to seek first Your kingdom, and to trust in Your perfect timing.
We declare freedom over him in the name of Jesus Christ. No longer shall he be enslaved to fear, to the opinions of man, or to the snare of this ungodly relationship. You, Lord, are his deliverer, and we thank You for the victory that is already his in Christ.
In the mighty and matchless name of Jesus we pray, Amen.
Brother, we urge you: act now. Do not delay. Every moment you remain in this relationship is another moment of disobedience, and disobedience invites the enemy’s stronghold. Cut off all communication with her—no conversations, no messages, no lingering ties. Fill your time with prayer, Scripture, and fellowship with believers. Immerse yourself in the Word, especially passages that speak of God’s design for marriage and relationships (Genesis 2:24, Ephesians 5:22-33, 1 Corinthians 7:39). Let the truth renew your mind.
Remember, the pain of obedience is far less costly than the pain of continued rebellion. The Lord is with you, and He will never leave you nor forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6). Walk in obedience today, and watch as He restores what the locusts have eaten (Joel 2:25). Your freedom is on the other side of surrender. Go forward in His strength.
