J
Jude42
Guest
I'm very sorry for being a burden to you with the constant prayer request (particularly the same prayer request). I just don't know what to pray for and I don't know what to do. The most important question that everyone needs to answer is 'Are you saved?' and I really don't know if I am. I thought I was and now I don't know. Perhaps the cares of this world choked it out of me, perhaps I apostized, perhaps I just deceived myself for the last four years or I am saved but have severely backslidden. I have a problem with homosexuality, doubt, pride, gluttony, slothfulness, idolatry,...let me
Say that my whole life is everything that the LORD hates --> sin (it's as if I'm stuck in Romans 7). I try to repent but it doesn't stick, it's just a superficial religious act born of worldly sorrow and not of Godly Sorrow and like a dog returning to it's vomit and a pig returning to the mud after being clean I return to sin. I know the enemy is messing with me,the flesh is dominating me, the world is trying to conform me and I keep choosing the wrong things and not listening to The LoRd when he speaks to me ( on thanksgiving I was attacked twice by the enemy and later I asked the Lord for help and  he wanted me to fast when I was fasting I was attacked again and succumb to the temptations and I knew it was an attack). I've been prayed for many times ad re lord was faithful and reached out to me but each time I resisted this thing (self/the flesh/the enemy?) rose up within me and denied the Holy spirit and now part of me wants to give up but I know that's what the enemy wants. Part of ne thinks the Lord has given up on me and let me go to a reprobate mind and heart (Romans 1) but I want a new heart of flesh thy only the Lord can give me, I want the LOrds spirit within me. I want the joy of his Salvation (psalm 51). I want to live for him but I'm so dead inside I'm living for sin and self. I don't read the bible, I've barely pray and if I do it's for salvation and deliverance. I'm tired of myself, I hate myself, my co workers and others say I look like I want to end my life. I'm tired of being a burden to you with this but I really need The LORDs help beacause hell is joke and I should be witnessing to people but in all caught up in this. I've been going for counseling at my church and it was good but I have to make a choice and everytime the LORD extends his hand to me I smack it away. I think I need a road to Damascus experience of something I need to change to repent to be made a new creation but my heart and neck are so hard and stiff. I've received many great godly replies To my dilemma and I need to listen and do what they say and what the lord says instead if being a fool. I'm going to seek the LORD truly for the next couple of days please pray for my salvation,my deliverance, for my full submission to The LORD, for everything trick, scheme, bondage, curse of the enemy to be broken and for my heart to yield to the Holy Spirit. I need Jesus, to be made into a new creation. I need him to speak to me clear as day. I need to have my eyes, ears, spirit and heart opened to him totally in full surrender because I dont want to be lost, I don't  want to be stubborn. Please pray for me to meet him his way and not my way. Please pray for him to meet me because the hour is late and the time near. Please I need to change I've wasted so much time....
P.s. I may have been cursed by a warlock when he assaulted me please pray against that.
Say that my whole life is everything that the LORD hates --> sin (it's as if I'm stuck in Romans 7). I try to repent but it doesn't stick, it's just a superficial religious act born of worldly sorrow and not of Godly Sorrow and like a dog returning to it's vomit and a pig returning to the mud after being clean I return to sin. I know the enemy is messing with me,the flesh is dominating me, the world is trying to conform me and I keep choosing the wrong things and not listening to The LoRd when he speaks to me ( on thanksgiving I was attacked twice by the enemy and later I asked the Lord for help and  he wanted me to fast when I was fasting I was attacked again and succumb to the temptations and I knew it was an attack). I've been prayed for many times ad re lord was faithful and reached out to me but each time I resisted this thing (self/the flesh/the enemy?) rose up within me and denied the Holy spirit and now part of me wants to give up but I know that's what the enemy wants. Part of ne thinks the Lord has given up on me and let me go to a reprobate mind and heart (Romans 1) but I want a new heart of flesh thy only the Lord can give me, I want the LOrds spirit within me. I want the joy of his Salvation (psalm 51). I want to live for him but I'm so dead inside I'm living for sin and self. I don't read the bible, I've barely pray and if I do it's for salvation and deliverance. I'm tired of myself, I hate myself, my co workers and others say I look like I want to end my life. I'm tired of being a burden to you with this but I really need The LORDs help beacause hell is joke and I should be witnessing to people but in all caught up in this. I've been going for counseling at my church and it was good but I have to make a choice and everytime the LORD extends his hand to me I smack it away. I think I need a road to Damascus experience of something I need to change to repent to be made a new creation but my heart and neck are so hard and stiff. I've received many great godly replies To my dilemma and I need to listen and do what they say and what the lord says instead if being a fool. I'm going to seek the LORD truly for the next couple of days please pray for my salvation,my deliverance, for my full submission to The LORD, for everything trick, scheme, bondage, curse of the enemy to be broken and for my heart to yield to the Holy Spirit. I need Jesus, to be made into a new creation. I need him to speak to me clear as day. I need to have my eyes, ears, spirit and heart opened to him totally in full surrender because I dont want to be lost, I don't  want to be stubborn. Please pray for me to meet him his way and not my way. Please pray for him to meet me because the hour is late and the time near. Please I need to change I've wasted so much time....
P.s. I may have been cursed by a warlock when he assaulted me please pray against that.
