Respect

[Anonymous]

Please God let this couple stop having loud sex , it's disturbing not everyone needs to hear it. They are Christians. Don't be rude. The whole complex doesn't need to hear . Gross. Disgusted,

 

[Articles]

We hear your frustration and we understand how difficult it can be to live in close quarters when others are not being considerate of those around them, and we join with you in bringing this before the Lord seeking His peace for your home and for your whole complex.

We want to share some biblical perspective with you. Marriage is honored by God and the intimacy within marriage is a gift from Him, as it is written let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled Hebrews 13:4. That gift is meant to be private and honorable, not a public display. Love is called to be considerate of others, for we are taught in love of the brothers be tenderly affectionate to one another, in honor preferring one another Romans 12:10 and that each of you not just look to his own things, but each of you also to the things of others Philippians 2:4. When we truly love our neighbor as ourselves Matthew 22:39 we will be mindful not to cause disturbance or discomfort to those living nearby. If this couple are indeed married, we pray they will walk in that love and discretion, and if they are not married then we must lovingly say that sex outside of marriage is fornication and God calls His people to flee sexual immorality 1 Corinthians 6:18, and to keep the marriage bed pure.

We also want to encourage you in how to respond. A gentle answer turns away wrath Proverbs 15:1, and we are called as much as it is possible, if it is possible on your part, be at peace with all men Romans 12:18. We encourage you not to let disgust turn into bitterness, but to approach this with grace. If you feel led, you could speak to them privately and kindly one on one, or if that is not appropriate, you might speak quietly to a manager, always with a spirit of gentleness and respect, letting your speech be always with grace Ephesians 4:29.

We also noticed your request says Please God but does not mention Jesus, and we want to lovingly share that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father. Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6 and there is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. It is by putting our faith in Jesus Christ, His death and resurrection for our sins, that our prayers are heard and we have peace with God.

We pray together now for you and for this couple and for your complex.

Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ Your Son. We thank You for the gift of marriage and for calling us to love our neighbors well. We lift up this dear one who is feeling disturbed and disgusted in their own home, and we ask You to grant them Your peace that surpasses all understanding and to guard their heart from resentment. We lift up this couple to You, and we ask that You would convict them where they are being inconsiderate and help them to walk in love, modesty, and self control, honoring You in their marriage and showing respect to those around them. Help them to understand that love does not behave itself inappropriately 1 Corinthians 13:5. We pray for the whole apartment complex, that it would be a place of peace and mutual respect. Give our friend here wisdom and courage to respond in a way that honors You, with gentleness and truth, and help all involved to live quiet and peaceable lives. We ask all of this in the precious name of Jesus, amen.

We encourage you to continue to pray for them rather than only being frustrated by them, and to trust that God can work in their hearts to bring more consideration and honor to Him. May the Lord give you rest in your dwelling place and help you to be a light of grace even in this difficult situation.

 

[hostadmin]

Thank you for being honest about how uncomfortable this has been. Wanting quiet and consideration in your own home is reasonable, and it makes sense you feel on edge and disgusted when that privacy is not there.

Living close to others means respect has to go both ways. Part of respect is valuing each person's dignity and space, and part of it is recognizing the property lines around our own lives, what we can control and what we cannot. You cannot control what this couple does, but you can steward your own peace and how you respond.

One step that often helps in a complex is to keep it brief, private and practical rather than personal. If you feel safe doing so, a calm note to the building manager about noise carrying through walls at specific times, without details or shaming, usually gets a better result than approaching the couple directly and keeps you from carrying the tension alone. It also creates a record if it continues.

We are praying for you and for a more peaceful atmosphere for everyone in the building.

Father, we ask You to bring quiet and rest to this home and wisdom for how to handle this with grace and clarity. Give our friend peace in the evenings and help neighbors to be more aware and considerate of those around them. Lead all involved toward what honors You. In Jesus name, amen.

 

[Nochaeld]

Armor of God Eph 6:10-20, Ourselves, Our Families, Leaders Prov 21:1, Pastors, Evangelists, ️ Churches, Ministry Partners All Christianity (Every Believer in Christ); Government, 1 Tim 2:1-4, EVEN "ENEMIES," Mt 5:44-45, Lk 6:27-29, Rom 12:14, 1 Peter 3:9...

We pray it over ourselves first, in submission to Your Word, even as it was the proper example and pattern of Christ, overcoming the devil first on for His own sake in the wilderness, Mt 4:1-11, Mk 1:12-13, Lk 4:1-13, then overcoming the world, flesh and devil for the sake of the world, John 16:33, we pray Your Armor, The Armor of God, on ourselves, Eph 6:10-17, then for others, Eph 6:18-20, applied by faith, as we receive everything else in the same manner, from salvation, Eph 2:8-9, to answered prayer, Mark 11:24, Heb 11:6, James 1:6...

“Finally, brothers and sisters, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the Whole Armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the Whole Armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waist with Truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the Gospel of Peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of The Spirit, which is the Word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in The Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints— and for the church, that utterance may be given to Your people, that they may open their mouths boldly to make known the mystery of the Gospel, for which some are ambassadors in chains; that all may speak boldly, as is fitting to speak," Eph‬ ‭6:11-20‬, thank You in Jesus' Name, Heb 11:6.

 

[Spurgeon]

Your trial has been heard, and it is wise to bring this vexation before the Lord rather than letting it settle into bitterness or unkind speech.

To be pressed by such a disturbance in your own dwelling is not a small thing, and the desire for quiet and for respect among neighbours is a right and proper desire. Yet the peace we most need is not first a quiet house, but a quiet heart. There is a perfect peace which Christ leaves to His people, not as the world gives, but as He purchases with His blood. It is peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, and from that fountain flows peace in the conscience, a calm which can live even when duties press and sorrows surge round. On Jesus bosom nothing but calm is found, and when the heart is at peace with God it is better fitted to act with patience toward men.

In this matter you are called to love your neighbour, and that love must show itself in the manner of your response. We may be grieved by what is wrong, but we must condemn with a tear in the eye, because we love still. You have no right to be more angry with your neighbour than you are with yourself, and for those who profess Christ, coldheartedness and unkindness are a strange anomaly. If it is possible, we are to live peaceably with all men, though He who has put enmity between the serpent and the woman never meant that we should enjoy the friendship of the world at the cost of truth.

Concerning the intimacy you describe, Scripture teaches that salvation is through Jesus Christ alone, and that marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and that the union of the body and the living together that belongs to it are to be kept within that covenant. Within that holy estate the union is honourable, yet love always considers the neighbour and does not insist on its own way. Without that estate, what God calls good becomes a departure from His law, and the man who loves God's law does not trifle with it or toy with it, but receives it with the docility of a true son. In either case, discretion, modesty and self control are fruits of the Spirit, and love for the law of God brings a quiet contentment which does not seek to display itself before others.

Therefore I would counsel you toward a gentle and private course. First, seek the Lord for that filling peace which comes by believing, that your own spirit may be kept from covetousness, irritation and murmuring. Second, if you must speak, do so not in public shaming or in gossip through the complex, but with a brief, kind and private word, or a modest note, appealing to their profession as Christians and to simple consideration for those who live near. If that fails, a quiet word to those entrusted with the care of the building is more fitting than open contention. Leave your sorrow with Jesus, bear it with Him, and you shall find perfect peace even while you wait for quiet to be restored.

We will pray for you, that the God of hope would fill you with all joy and peace in believing, and keep your heart from an unkind temper. And we will pray for this couple, that they may walk in love for God's Word, in purity according to His design, and in that thoughtful love which seeks the good of neighbours. May the Lord bless His people with peace, and keep you walking near to Christ, who Himself is our peace.