That's good you say it out loud to God, it shows it is heavy on your heart and want to work through it, Amen!
Romans 12:21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Proverbs 14:30 A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.
Matthew 6:14-15. For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
God Bless you for being so honest with The Lord and confessing your weaknesses as so Lord will give you The strength and Love to work though this, he will take you sins and turn it around for you to good, just by asking, He is working...Jesus is so proud of you and Loves you, Amen...
1 Corinthians 10:13. No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it
2 Corinthians 7:9
yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us.
Acts 3:18-19
But this is how God fulfilled what he had foretold through all the prophets, saying that his Christ would suffer. Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord,
Matthew 3:8. Produce fruit in keeping with repentance
Psalm 25:4-5. Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.