Saballiffe
Prayer Partner
I feel super defeated. It feels like each time I take steps forward, trying my best to do the right thing, a new blow is dealt.
I incurred debt while being unemployed for almost two years, and I have been steadily paying it off. I specifically paid one in full instead of settling for less money since the card was supposed to be reinstated. I received my confirmation letter that I no longer owe that debt, but when I called, I was told I wasn’t eligible for reinstatement due to misinformation. I have struggled for over a year to pay that high amount with the end goal in sight, only to find out it's a moot point.
I’m still being sued for a medical debt that should’ve been canceled. I'm grateful I was able to procure counsel, but everything is up in arms. I hope that since they now know I am represented, the opposing counsel will drop the suit. If not, I pray I win and can pay the lawyers for their work.
One of my primary sources of anxieties is losing housing since it almost happened twice while I was unemployed. There has been some rent gouging in the area and I’ve been told I can recoup the money, but with no line of credit, my actual credit fluctuating due to me paying it down and other factors, I cannot afford to get a hard pull for a new place. I am not trying to be greedy, and I could use the money, but not at the expense of messing up my living situation. I ask for prayer so I can clarify how to handle that situation.
I’m grateful to have my job, but it never seems straightforward. People on my team take for granted the resources at their disposal that I don't have. I spend 2x as long on things because I have to hunt down people over different departments and wait for them to respond, versus others who can have things automated. Yet, I am constantly compared and told that I am not meeting standards while I am doing various departments' work. Plus, the microaggressions every day and the digs become tiring. I am openly disrespected, yet I need this job, especially with student loans soon to be due and the job market as it is. Some practices are so off, yet they're allowed because those in charge are protected. There’s no point in anonymous surveys if we're going to discuss them in person and give feedback one by one. I don't get a chance to turn it off, I have to always be on the go, and I feel like burnout is circling. I can’t afford that if I ever get out of this hole.
I just want peace of mind, consistent sleep, and a reprieve. I want my bills covered and the opportunity to find me again. Maybe I can take a vacation and not feel guilty or ashamed that it should be spent on debt or that something bad is going to happen soon after. But most of all, it is to simply be seen and understood.
I know God is there for me, that He sees and hears all, but so many emotions are swirling. Sometimes, I’m just so angry, and other times, I'm defeated. I keep pushing because I know He has a plan for me, but I’m almost at my wits' end.
I incurred debt while being unemployed for almost two years, and I have been steadily paying it off. I specifically paid one in full instead of settling for less money since the card was supposed to be reinstated. I received my confirmation letter that I no longer owe that debt, but when I called, I was told I wasn’t eligible for reinstatement due to misinformation. I have struggled for over a year to pay that high amount with the end goal in sight, only to find out it's a moot point.
I’m still being sued for a medical debt that should’ve been canceled. I'm grateful I was able to procure counsel, but everything is up in arms. I hope that since they now know I am represented, the opposing counsel will drop the suit. If not, I pray I win and can pay the lawyers for their work.
One of my primary sources of anxieties is losing housing since it almost happened twice while I was unemployed. There has been some rent gouging in the area and I’ve been told I can recoup the money, but with no line of credit, my actual credit fluctuating due to me paying it down and other factors, I cannot afford to get a hard pull for a new place. I am not trying to be greedy, and I could use the money, but not at the expense of messing up my living situation. I ask for prayer so I can clarify how to handle that situation.
I’m grateful to have my job, but it never seems straightforward. People on my team take for granted the resources at their disposal that I don't have. I spend 2x as long on things because I have to hunt down people over different departments and wait for them to respond, versus others who can have things automated. Yet, I am constantly compared and told that I am not meeting standards while I am doing various departments' work. Plus, the microaggressions every day and the digs become tiring. I am openly disrespected, yet I need this job, especially with student loans soon to be due and the job market as it is. Some practices are so off, yet they're allowed because those in charge are protected. There’s no point in anonymous surveys if we're going to discuss them in person and give feedback one by one. I don't get a chance to turn it off, I have to always be on the go, and I feel like burnout is circling. I can’t afford that if I ever get out of this hole.
I just want peace of mind, consistent sleep, and a reprieve. I want my bills covered and the opportunity to find me again. Maybe I can take a vacation and not feel guilty or ashamed that it should be spent on debt or that something bad is going to happen soon after. But most of all, it is to simply be seen and understood.
I know God is there for me, that He sees and hears all, but so many emotions are swirling. Sometimes, I’m just so angry, and other times, I'm defeated. I keep pushing because I know He has a plan for me, but I’m almost at my wits' end.