We rejoice that you have come before the Lord with a heart seeking true repentance and faith, for it is written, *"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit. A broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise"* (Psalm 51:17, WEB). Your struggle with pride, legalism, and doubts is not uncommon, and the enemy often uses such thoughts to steal the peace that comes from resting in Christ’s finished work. But take heart—your very concern over these things is evidence that the Holy Spirit is at work in you, convicting and drawing you closer to the truth.
The fear that you have committed the blasphemy of the Holy Spirit reveals a tender conscience, which is a good thing. Jesus warned that blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is the *persistent*, *willful* rejection of His work in testifying to Christ (Matthew 12:31-32). But you are doing the opposite—you are turning *toward* Christ, confessing your need for Him, and seeking His mercy. That is not blasphemy; that is the cry of a heart being softened by God. *"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness"* (1 John 1:9, WEB). Your prayer of surrender to Jesus as Lord and Savior is the very response God desires, and His Word assures us that *"whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved"* (Romans 10:13, WEB). That peace you felt was the Holy Spirit bearing witness with your spirit that you are now a child of God (Romans 8:16).
Yet, as you’ve experienced, the old nature still wages war. The proud, works-based thoughts that resurfaced are remnants of the flesh, which the apostle Paul described in his own struggle: *"For I don’t know what I am doing. For I don’t practice what I desire to do; but what I hate, that I do"* (Romans 7:15, WEB). But Paul did not stop there—he declared, *"I thank God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! So then with the mind, I myself serve God’s law, but with the flesh, the sin’s law"* (Romans 7:25, WEB). The key is to *keep* turning to Christ in these moments, not to your own efforts or feelings. Legalism is a snare because it shifts focus from Jesus’ perfection to our imperfection, leading either to pride (if we think we’ve "earned" something) or despair (when we fail). But the gospel frees us from both: *"For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, that no one would boast"* (Ephesians 2:8-9, WEB).
Your lack of conviction last night does not mean the Holy Spirit was absent. Sometimes, He allows us to *see* the ugliness of our sin so we might flee to Christ all the more. Conviction is not always an emotional weight—it is the Spirit’s persistent work of exposing our need for Jesus. The fact that you recognized the pride and brought it before the Lord *is* the work of conviction. Now, you must choose to *repent*—turn away from those thoughts—and *believe* the truth: *"He made the one who didn’t know sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God"* (2 Corinthians 5:21, WEB).
To combat doubt and unbelief, immerse yourself in Scripture, which is *"the sword of the Spirit"* (Ephesians 6:17). When prideful thoughts arise, declare truths like these aloud:
- *"But God commends his own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us"* (Romans 5:8).
- *"Being therefore justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ"* (Romans 5:1).
- *"There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus"* (Romans 8:1).
And when the enemy whispers that your faith is insufficient, remember Jesus’ words to the father of the demon-possessed boy: *"‘If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.’ Immediately the father of the child cried out with tears, ‘I believe. Help my unbelief!’* (Mark 9:23-24, WEB). Your honesty before God is an act of faith in itself.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift up your child before You, thanking You that You have begun a good work in them and will complete it until the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6). Lord, we rebuked the spirits of pride, legalism, and doubt that have sought to entangle them in lies. By the blood of Jesus, we break every agreement with self-righteousness and unbelief, and we declare that their righteousness is found in Christ alone. Holy Spirit, flood their heart with the assurance of their salvation. Remind them that they are sealed by You (Ephesians 1:13) and that nothing can snatch them from the Father’s hand (John 10:29). When the enemy accuses, let them hear Your voice saying, *"I have blotted out, as a thick cloud, your transgressions, and, as a cloud, your sins. Return to me, for I have redeemed you"* (Isaiah 44:22).
Lord, teach them to rest in Your finished work. When their mind drifts to earning Your favor, anchor them in the truth that Jesus *is* their favor (Ephesians 1:6). Give them a hatred for sin and a hunger for Your Word, that they may grow in grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ (2 Peter 3:18). Surround them with believers who will speak life and truth into their struggles. And Father, we ask that You would guard their heart and mind in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7), that they may walk in the freedom You purchased for them.
We declare that they are no longer a slave to fear, for they have been adopted into Your family (Romans 8:15). Let them rise up in the authority of their new identity, putting on the armor of God to stand firm against every scheme of the devil (Ephesians 6:11). And may they, like the psalmist, proclaim: *"Why are you in despair, my soul? Why are you disturbed within me? Hope in God! For I shall still praise him for the saving help of his presence"* (Psalm 42:5).
In the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, we pray. Amen.
Finally, we encourage you to share this struggle with a mature believer or pastor who can walk alongside you. Isolation gives the enemy a foothold, but *"two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him who is alone when he falls, and doesn’t have another to lift him up"* (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). Keep confessing, keep believing, and keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and perfecter of your faith (Hebrews 12:2). He who began this work in you *will* bring it to completion. Stand firm!
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
