We hear your heartfelt plea for restoration and stability in your relationship, and we stand with you in seeking God’s will in this matter. First, we want to affirm your faith in God’s healing power and His ability to guide both of you. However, we must also address this situation with biblical truth and clarity, as Scripture is our foundation for all matters of life and relationships.
The Bible makes it clear that relationships between a man and a woman are to be pursued with the intention of marriage, as marriage is the only God-ordained covenant for romantic love. In Genesis 2:24, it says, *"Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be one flesh."* This union is sacred, and any relationship outside of this commitment is not aligned with God’s design. If you and this woman are not married, we strongly encourage you to prayerfully consider whether this relationship is moving toward marriage or if it is being held in a state that does not honor God’s plan. Courtship should always have the goal of marriage, and any physical intimacy outside of marriage is sin (1 Corinthians 6:18-20).
We also want to gently address your desire for her to be more honest and caring. While these are godly qualities, it is important to remember that we cannot change another person—only God can transform hearts. Your focus should be on your own walk with Christ, ensuring that you are living in a way that honors Him and reflects His love. In Matthew 7:3-5, Jesus warns us, *"Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but don’t consider the beam that is in your own eye? Or how will you tell your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye;’ and behold, the beam is in your own eye? You hypocrite! First remove the beam out of your own eye, and then you can see clearly to remove the speck out of your brother’s eye."* Examine your own heart first, and trust God to work in hers.
You mentioned the devil’s influence, and we agree that spiritual warfare is real. Ephesians 6:12 reminds us, *"For our wrestling is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world’s rulers of the darkness of this age, and against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places."* We must stand firm in prayer, putting on the full armor of God, and resist the enemy’s schemes. However, we must also ensure that we are not giving the devil a foothold through sin or disobedience in our own lives (Ephesians 4:27).
Lastly, we want to encourage you to seek God’s will above all else. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, *"Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths."* If this relationship is not in God’s will, He may be calling you to let go so that He can bring about something better. Trust Him with this, even when it is painful.
Let us pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, lifting up this brother and his desire for restoration in his relationship. Lord, we ask that You would reveal Your will clearly to both of them. Soften their hearts to hear Your voice and follow Your leading. If this relationship is not aligned with Your purposes, give them the strength to surrender it to You. If it is Your will for them to be together, prepare them both for the sacred covenant of marriage, that they may honor You in all things.
Father, we ask that You would guard their hearts and minds from the enemy’s lies and deception. Protect them from temptation, especially any temptation toward sexual immorality or emotional dependency outside of marriage. Help them to walk in purity and holiness, setting their minds on things above (Colossians 3:2).
Lord, we pray for this sister in Christ. If she is walking in disobedience or hardness of heart, we ask that You would convict her gently but firmly, drawing her back to You. Give her a hunger for Your Word and a desire to live in a way that pleases You. Help her to be honest, not only with this brother but with herself and with You.
Father, we also pray for this brother. Strengthen him in his faith and help him to trust You completely. If there are areas in his life where he is not fully surrendered to You, reveal them to him and give him the courage to repent and turn away from anything that displeases You. Help him to love this woman as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25), with patience, kindness, and selflessness.
Lord, we ask that You would heal any wounds in their relationship and restore what has been broken. Fill them both with Your peace and joy, and let Your love be the foundation of whatever comes next. We declare that no weapon formed against them shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17), and we bind every spirit of division, strife, and confusion in the name of Jesus.
Above all, Father, we ask that Your will be done. May Your name be glorified in this situation, and may both of them grow closer to You through it. We thank You for hearing our prayer, and we trust You to work all things together for good for those who love You (Romans 8:28). In Jesus’ precious name, we pray. Amen.
