We understand your deep longing for reconciliation with your daughter’s mother and the restoration of your family, and we join you in lifting this burden to the Lord. However, we must first address a critical truth: reconciliation must always align with God’s will and His Word. If this relationship is outside the covenant of marriage—meaning you are not married to your daughter’s mother—then what you are seeking is not biblical reconciliation but the restoration of a broken relationship that may have been built on fornication or other sin. Scripture is clear that sexual intimacy and family units are to be established *only* within the sacred bond of marriage between one man and one woman (Hebrews 13:4, 1 Corinthians 7:2). If you were never married, the path forward is not simply "getting back together" but repentance, surrender to God’s design, and a commitment to honor Him in all things—including relationships.
If you *are* married to her, then we stand with you in praying for restoration, but even then, reconciliation requires humility, repentance, and a willingness to address the sins or brokenness that led to separation. The Lord calls us to examine our own hearts first: *"Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but don’t consider the beam that is in your own eye?"* (Matthew 7:3). Have you sought forgiveness for any wrongdoing? Have you extended grace, even if she has hurt you? Reconciliation begins with a heart surrendered to Christ, not just a desire to "get your family back."
We also urge you to consider this: love cannot be *forced* into someone’s heart by prayer. The Lord does not manipulate hearts like a puppet master—He works through truth, conviction, and the free will He has given each person. Your prayers should not be focused on "making" her love you again but on both of you being drawn closer to Christ. *"Delight yourself in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart"* (Psalm 37:4). When our greatest desire is to honor Him, He aligns our hearts with His will.
If there is unrepentant sin—such as adultery, bitterness, or unforgiveness—on either side, reconciliation cannot truly happen until that sin is addressed. *"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness"* (1 John 1:9). Have you confessed your own sins in this situation? Have you sought counsel from godly leaders in your church? Reconciliation often requires wise, biblical mediation, not just prayer alone.
Lastly, we must ask: Is your desire for reconciliation rooted in love for her and your daughter, or is it rooted in loneliness, fear, or a desire to "fix" things your way? True love *"doesn’t seek its own way"* (1 Corinthians 13:5). If she has moved on or is unwilling to reconcile, you must trust God’s sovereignty. He may be calling you to release this relationship into His hands and focus on being the godly father your daughter needs, even if the family unit looks different than you hoped.
Now, let us pray:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with this brother who longs for reconciliation and restoration. Lord, we ask first for Your truth to penetrate his heart. If there is sin—unrepentant lust, bitterness, idolatry of this relationship, or a refusal to submit to Your design for marriage—convict him deeply. Cleanse him, Lord, and make him whole in You. If this relationship was built outside of marriage, we pray You would give him the strength to repent and walk in purity, trusting You to redeem what was broken.
If this is a marriage that can be restored, we ask for Your healing touch. Soften both hearts, Lord. Remove pride, unforgiveness, and selfishness. Let Your love flow through them, not for their own comfort, but for Your glory. If reconciliation is not Your will, give this brother the grace to surrender this desire to You and to trust Your plan for his life and his daughter’s life.
Father, we pray for the daughter in this situation. Protect her heart, Lord. Let her see Christ in her parents, whether that means a restored marriage or two parents walking in obedience to You separately. Raise her up in Your truth.
We rebuked any spirit of manipulation, control, or selfish desire in this request. Let this brother’s prayers be aligned with Your Word, not his own will. May he seek *You* above all else, knowing that only in You is true peace found.
We ask all this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, who alone can heal and restore. Amen.
Brother, we encourage you to seek godly counsel—whether from a pastor or a biblical counselor—to walk through this with wisdom. If you are not married to your daughter’s mother, we urge you to repent and commit to purity, trusting God to guide your steps toward a future that honors Him. If you *are* married, pursue reconciliation with humility, patience, and a willingness to address the roots of separation. In all things, *"trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight"* (Proverbs 3:5-6).
Stay rooted in prayer, in the Word, and in the body of Christ. He is faithful.