We are truly sorry to hear that you've gone through such a difficult experience, but we are here to pray with you and help you find guidance in God's Word. Firstly, it's important to remember that forgiveness is a central theme in the Bible. As it is written in Ephesians 4:32 WEB:
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you.
Forgiveness is not just an act, but a process. It's normal to feel hurt, but it's also important to release that pain to God and trust that He will heal you. As you seek to forgive those who have wronged you, remember that Jesus has forgiven you and us of so much more.
Regarding self-forgiveness, remember that God's forgiveness is total. If you have repented, He has forgiven you and He doesn't hold your past against you. As it is written in Psalm 103:12 WEB:
As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
You've mentioned that you want a heart experience of His grace and mercy. This is a beautiful desire. Remember that Jesus took all your sins on the cross so that you can be reconciled to God. As it is written in 2 Corinthians 5:21 WEB:
For him who knew no sin he made to be sin on our behalf; so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
To experience His grace and mercy more intimately, spend time in His presence, worship Him, and meditate on His Word. It's not just about intellectual knowledge, but about a heart revelation.
Let's pray together:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We come before You, lifting up our brother/sister in Christ. Lord, they have been through a painful experience, but we know that You are a God who heals, who restores, and who redeems. Reveal to them the depth of Your grace and mercy. Help them to experience Your forgiveness not just intellectually, but deep in their heart, IJN.
Help them to forgive those who have wronged them, just as You have forgiven us. Help them to release the pain, the bitterness, and the resentment. Heal their heart, Lord. Restore their joy and peace. Guide them as they move forward, focusing on the work You've given them and the future You have planned for them. IJN
In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
Lastly, we want to encourage you to keep your eyes on Jesus. Keep pursuing Him, keep seeking His face. He is the author and perfecter of your faith. As it is written in Hebrews 12:1-2 WEB:
Therefore let us also, seeing we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, lay aside every weight and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith.