GEEK5TER
Servant of All
Praying for Clarity, Patience, Reunited Love & Happiness. In the past month my life has been turned upside down and shaken. Nothing seems to make any sense and im confused and very frustrated. Everything Ive known and grown to love over the past 5 months has been taken away from me. Just as I was starting to feel happy and confident about my future. Now im unsure of where im headed and what my future holds. It all started because my girlfriend and I broke up 22 days ago. Granted her and I only dated for a short 5 months, we had a real connection. Something ive never come close to feeling with another human being. It was just sublime and amazing. Part of the reason I was falling so hard for her was because she got my life back on track. She literally changed me as a person. Transoformed me in numerous ways. One of them being physically. She helped me lose over 40 lbs in three months. It was amazing. I look and feel better than I have in years. She also had me taking better care of myself. Ive started going to the Doctor again as well as making sure I eat healthy. And lastly the reason its so hard to let go is because she has two kids. Which in turn made me very close with her. She invited me into her home. Her private world where she lets no one in. Daily I would be at her house cooking for her and her children. Id get there after work (Before her) and hangout with her kids while making dinner. Then she would get home, her and I would go for a run, come back and eat dinner with the kids. Then we'd shower and as a family sit and watch tv till we fell asleep. We did numerous other things but always tried including the kids and having fun. We fell into that routine almost instantly. I was into the relationship more than she was but I was ok with that. She was skeptical and had her reservations about being in a relationship but always reassured me that she wanted to be with me and was happy with me. Well, 22 days ago, we were at the beach. (we had spent the weekend there.) it was a sunday. And after one of our 30 day diets we were celebrating a little. So we had some champagne and drinks. Because I didnt eat much and the fact that the sun was blazing, the drinks got to me rather fast. So I became a different person. Her and I got into a fight. Which wasn't really a big deal. but because of the drinking I thought she was so angry with me that after the fight I walked away from her. Which I regret to this very second. and will regret for a long time to come. She tried calling me but I was so mad and hurt I walked almost all the way home. She felt as if I was abandoning her and her child. Which I would never do. Honestly I walked towards home but left my car in the valet at the hotel. She could've easily gone and gotten it and taken it home. But she didn't see that. She felt as if I made a big show infront of her son and than just stranded them. Moving forward.... Later on her son texted me saying hes sorry it all happened and that he wishes her and I could stay together. (He is our biggest fan) and he ended the text by saying, Chris, I love you like a dad. Which I found out later to be true. He does. And I love him as he was my own son. anywho, three weeks have gone by now and we have scarcely talked. About once a week. And it usually starts good and we end up fighting. Because I pour my heart out to her and she tells me to take a step back. Well two days ago. her and I spoke. We both decided we needed to give each other space and when the time is right down the road, we will become friends. She event slipped in "Sometimes that's how people get back together. They don't speak for a few months, then become friends and it works out that they get back together. or they just remain friends." Well all in all, to sum up this prayer request I am asking for everyone here to pray for me. Please. I know GOD has a plan and a lesson for me. I think the lesson I am learning now is be patient. Because in the past three weeks I haven't been patient and that's led me to be persistent with her and only push her further away. I pray and hope you pray for me that down the line her and I can become great friends. And that friendship can turn into a relationship again. Only this time a real relationship. One that has meaning and love. One that can go the distance. One that can make it. I care deeply for Ana and I hope but nothing but the best for her. I also pray that in this time apart that she finds her own answers from GOD. I know she prays for clarity a lot so I pray that GOD clear her mind and show her whats what. She is a wonderful Mother, An amazing friend, and someone I can undoubtedly spend my life with. Also I pray for the well being of her and her son. And GOD please, if she ever need anything at all. Let her look past her pride and call me for help. I will always be there to lend a hand and offer whatever I have. Whether it be my last dollar or the shirt off my back. Please pray for Ana and I. It would mean the world to me.
