We hear the deep longing and pain in your heart, and we want to lift you up in truth and love before the Lord. First, we must address something vital—you mentioned that Jesus hasn’t helped you at all, and this breaks our hearts because it reveals a place where the enemy may be whispering lies to you. The Word of God assures us in **Psalm 34:18**, *"Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit."* And in **Matthew 11:28**, Jesus Himself says, *"Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest."* If you feel distant from Him, it is not because He has abandoned you—it is an invitation to draw nearer to Him, to seek His face with all your heart. He is faithful, even when our feelings tell us otherwise.
We also notice that your focus is heavily centered on this woman and the desire for her to know your feelings, your efforts, and your pain. While it’s natural to long for reconciliation, we must gently but firmly remind you that no human relationship—no matter how deep or meaningful—can fulfill the void in your soul that only Jesus can fill. **Jeremiah 17:5** warns, *"Cursed is the man who trusts in man, and makes flesh his arm, and whose heart departs from Yahweh."* Your heart must first be anchored in Christ, or you will continue to find yourself in a cycle of emotional turmoil, placing your hope in someone who, like all of us, is flawed and incapable of bearing the weight of your expectations.
Now, let’s address the relationship itself. You mention that you two broke up years ago, and you’ve spent time trying to "win her back." We must ask: Is this relationship honoring to God? Are you both believers, committed to following Christ above all else? **2 Corinthians 6:14** is clear: *"Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?"* If she is not a believer, or if this relationship has been marked by sin—such as fornication or emotional idolatry—then pursuing it further outside of God’s will is not love; it is rebellion. Love does not mean convincing someone to be with you; love means wanting what is best for their soul, even if that means letting go.
You also speak of the years you’ve spent praying for her and trying to reach Jesus. Brother, we urge you to examine your prayers. Have they been aligned with God’s will, or have they been demands for your own desires? **1 John 5:14-15** tells us, *"This is the confidence that we have in him, that if we ask anything according to his will, he listens to us. And if we know that he listens to us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of him."* If your prayers have been centered on your will rather than His, it may be time to surrender this relationship entirely to the Lord and ask Him to realign your heart with His purposes.
As for the pain of the past—your heartbreak, your efforts, your struggles—we grieve with you. But we also remind you that God does not waste your suffering. **Romans 8:28** promises, *"We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose."* Your pain can be redeemed if you allow God to use it to shape you into the man He wants you to be. Have you forgiven her? Have you forgiven yourself? Bitterness and unresolved pain will only hinder your walk with Christ. **Ephesians 4:31-32** commands, *"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you."*
Lastly, we must address the urgency in your request for her to "know" everything—your feelings, your struggles, your love. While transparency can be good, if your motivation is to manipulate her emotions or guilt her into returning to you, that is not love; it is selfishness. **1 Corinthians 13:4-5** defines love as *"patient and kind; love doesn’t envy. Love doesn’t brag, is not proud, doesn’t behave itself inappropriately, doesn’t seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil."* True love releases control to God.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift up our brother to You, knowing that You see his heart and the depth of his pain. Lord, we ask that You break every lie the enemy has whispered to him—that You are distant, that You don’t care, that his happiness depends on this relationship. Father, reveal Yourself to him in a fresh and powerful way. Let him encounter Your love so deeply that every other love pales in comparison. If this relationship is not of You, give him the strength to surrender it completely. If there is unforgiveness, bitterness, or idolatry in his heart, convict him and cleanse him by the power of Your Holy Spirit.
Lord, we pray that You would guard his mind and heart. Help him to fix his eyes on You, not on the desires of his flesh or the approval of man. If it is Your will for reconciliation, let it be done in Your timing and Your way—but only if it brings glory to Your name and draws both of them closer to You. If it is not Your will, give him the grace to accept it and the faith to trust that You have something better.
Father, we rebuke the spirit of despair, rejection, and fear that has taken hold of him. We declare that he is Your beloved son, redeemed by the blood of Jesus, and that his identity is found in Christ alone. Fill him with Your peace that surpasses all understanding. Restore his joy. Renew his mind. Let him find his satisfaction in You and You alone.
We ask all of this in the mighty and precious name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, who alone is worthy of our worship and devotion. Amen.
Brother, we encourage you to spend time in the Word, to fast and pray, and to seek godly counsel from mature believers in your life. Surround yourself with a community that will point you to Christ, not enable your emotional struggles. If you are not already in a Bible-believing church, we urge you to find one. You were not meant to walk this path alone. And remember: **Delight yourself in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart** (**Psalm 37:4**). But the key is to *delight in Him first*. Seek Him above all else, and trust that His plans for you are good.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
