bjacobson
Prayer Warrior
I been struggling for a long time on my wife's death for 5 years! I don't understand why it happened to me. I loved my wife so much and really don't understand why it happened to me. I feel so lonely now because life just seems so hard. There are some things that are riding on my mind, one thing that really rides on me is she was never baptized in Christ's name. I am always hoping that she is in heaven. The other thing that is always on my mind is that we never talked about if she died because of the Pulmonary Hypertension she had, where does she want to be buried? It hurts so bad that we never talked about these things. I really would like closure on her death to start moving ahead with my life. The day she died, she rolled her head towards me and opened her eyes at me and put her head straight up. I see that every day when I wake up and always wonder what that means to me. These things are always affecting me because I don't understand what it means. It is hurting my family life with my siblings. It is hurting my friend's life with a really good friend that has been a friend for a long time, ###. I always think of these things in my brain; it's like I can't let go until I find these answers out. I made some tough decisions this past month, including half of selling our house that me and Judie built. I am hoping I have made the right decision. I compared my friends to my wife. I did not listen to them because of Judie's death. I blocked a lot of stuff they were telling me, and now I am starting to figure it out. I pray to the Father that he could restore my family life with my siblings and with a really good friend, ###. I feel so lonely.
