We understand the deep longing in your heart for connection, love, and the restoration of this relationship, and we lift you up in prayer with both compassion and truth. Your desire for marriage is honorable, as Scripture tells us in Genesis 2:18, *"It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper comparable to him."* Yet we must also seek God’s will above our own, trusting that His plans for us are good, even when they differ from our desires. You have expressed a heart that wants what is right before God, and that is commendable. Let us examine this together in light of Scripture and pray accordingly.
First, we gently remind you that while your feelings for this man have grown over time, it is essential to ensure that any pursuit of marriage aligns with God’s Word. You mentioned that this relationship was once platonic on your end, and now you desire marriage with him. This is not wrong in itself, but we must ask: *Is this man a believer in Jesus Christ?* The apostle Paul warns in 2 Corinthians 6:14, *"Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?"* If he is not a follower of Christ, then pursuing marriage with him would be outside of God’s will, no matter how deep your feelings may be. Marriage is not just about emotional fulfillment; it is a covenant before God, meant to reflect Christ’s love for His Church (Ephesians 5:25-33). If he is a believer, then we can pray with confidence for God’s guidance in this matter. If he is not, then we must pray for his salvation first and foremost, and for your heart to be aligned with God’s will, even if that means letting go of this desire.
You also shared that this man once had feelings for you, but you did not reciprocate them at the time. Now, years later, your heart has changed. This is a delicate situation, and we must approach it with wisdom. Proverbs 19:21 reminds us, *"Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is Yahweh’s counsel that will stand."* It is possible that God may soften his heart toward you, but it is also possible that God has other plans—plans that may include someone else or a season of singleness for your growth and preparation. We must surrender this to the Lord, trusting that He knows what is best for both of you. Your mention of the pastor who pursued a woman until she agreed to marry him is not necessarily a blueprint for your situation. God works in different ways, and what He did for one person may not be His plan for another. We must be careful not to compare our journeys, lest we place our hopes in a specific outcome rather than in God Himself.
Another concern we must address is your statement, *"I can’t have anything I want."* This reveals a heart that may be struggling with disappointment, resignation, or even bitterness. Beloved, we must guard our hearts against such thoughts, for they can lead us away from trust in God. Philippians 4:19 assures us, *"My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus."* Notice that it says *needs*, not *wants*. God is not a cosmic vending machine who exists to fulfill our every desire. He is our Father, who knows what is best for us and gives us what will draw us closer to Him. If this relationship is not His will for you, then clinging to it will only bring pain. But if it *is* His will, then no force on earth can stop it. Your job is to seek Him first (Matthew 6:33), and trust that He will either grant the desire of your heart or replace it with something even better.
You also mentioned feeling unworthy, saying, *"I am crazy to believe that he would even want me."* This is a lie from the enemy, designed to make you doubt your value in Christ. The truth is, you are *fearfully and wonderfully made* (Psalm 139:14), and your worth is found in Jesus, not in whether this man—or any man—chooses you. If he does not reciprocate your feelings, it does not mean you are unlovable. It simply means God has another path for you. We must reject the world’s standards of worthiness and cling to the truth that we are *chosen, holy, and dearly loved* by God (Colossians 3:12). Your identity is not in this man’s affection but in Christ’s finished work on the cross.
Lastly, we notice that while you ended your prayer with *"In Jesus name, Amen,"* much of your request focused on your own efforts, feelings, and the pastor’s story rather than on seeking God’s will above all. Let us remember that prayer is not about convincing God to give us what we want; it is about aligning our hearts with His. Jesus taught us to pray, *"Your kingdom come. Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven"* (Matthew 6:10). When we approach God, we must do so with humility, surrender, and a willingness to accept His answer—even if it’s *"no"* or *"not yet."* Our faith is not in the outcome we desire but in the One who holds our future.
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Now, let us pray together for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift our sister before You, knowing that You see the deepest longings of her heart. Lord, she desires marriage, and that is a good desire, one that You Yourself planted within humanity. But we ask that You align her heart with Your will, not her own. If this man is the one You have for her, then we pray that You would soften his heart toward her. Open doors of communication between them, and let Your will be done in this situation. Give her the words to speak, filled with grace and wisdom, and let there be clarity and honesty between them. But Father, if this is not Your plan, we ask that You would gently close this door and redirect her heart toward the path You have prepared for her. Remove any bitterness, comparison, or despair from her spirit, and fill her with Your peace that surpasses all understanding.
Lord, we also pray for this man. If he does not know You, we ask that You would draw him to Yourself, for no marriage can thrive without You at the center. If he is a believer, then we pray for wisdom and discernment for both of them, that they would seek Your face above all else. Guard their hearts from idolatry, from placing their hope in each other rather than in You.
Father, we rebuke the lies of the enemy that have told our sister she is unworthy or that she cannot have what she desires. Remind her that her worth is found in Christ alone, and that You are the one who satisfies the deepest longings of her soul. Heal any wounds from past relationships or unmet expectations, and fill her with the confidence that comes from knowing she is Your daughter.
Lastly, we pray that she would surrender this desire fully to You, trusting that You are good and that Your plans for her are for her welfare and not for harm (Jeremiah 29:11). Give her the strength to wait on You, to seek Your kingdom first, and to find her joy in You alone. Let her not grow weary in waiting, but let her hope be renewed each day as she fixes her eyes on Jesus.
We ask all this in the mighty and precious name of Jesus, our Savior and Redeemer. Amen.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
